Too close a call
by City.of.sour.wolf.runners
Summary: Steve and Nat are more dependent on each other than ever before, Romanoff's stuck on the outside whilst Steve recovers from a deadly injury. The entire team is at ends, falling to pieces due to the heart-breaking war raging between Stark and Rogers. Based a bit on CA:CW but really just a small idea which has grown into a big idea! Please give it a go and see where it takes you Xx
1. Consequences

Blurry spotlights blinded the spy temporarily.  
A buzzing roar nagged at her ear, firmly Romanoff shook it off. She was moving, her eyes blinking uncontrollably.  
 _Where was she?_  
As Natasha continued down the spotting lights she contemplated her surroundings, she could only see above; the contrast off bright lights and then a shadowed patch made red dots appear before her.  
She couldn't look to the left or the right, Widow tried but a groan sounded from a distance, stopping her from moving her neck. She was still moving, and the sound of rushed footsteps beside her jammed her system with nerves. She was flying, in the sky and the harsh tints of white were the stars...

Another distant groan bounced against her tightening skull, _she was the one groaning._

Suddenly in the space of 2 seconds it all flooded back to her, too quickly Tasha was drowning in the anguishing memories:

 _"You Coward!"  
Screams splitting her skull, ducking behind cover as an explosion rocked the land beneath her feet, she flew backwards.  
Red sparks trapped the Widow in a web.  
"Be honest with me...do you really want this? Want this? Want this?" _Sobbing sounds ran around her ear drum, the beat was so repetitive Romanoff couldn't stop the sound, it didn't leave. It just got quieter until it, like everything else, faded into an ibis of numbness.  
 _"HEY! I thought we were together!"  
"You're got a lot of nerve..."  
_Crumbling bricks banged against hollow bodies, gas clung to her suit like a bad odour.  
 _"STEVE!"_

"Huh!" Natasha gasped, suddenly her blurred vision sorted the puzzle into the correct order, the dashing lights stopped assaulting the disorientated spy. She sprang forward; she was being strolled on a gurney, not flying.  
The hurried footsteps were featuring unlinked lines of conversation "We need to get her to the operating room."  
"Did you see that other guy?"  
"No..what happened?"  
"Is that Tony Stark!"

Nat spun her eyes adjusting and the nurses and doctors surrounding her took note of her suddenly stirred state. "Miss please sit down!" Romanoff ignored the crude woman; she always struggled to follow orders.

Romanoff stumbled forwards, her feet feeling weightless and foreign, like her entire body was asleep. Her numb fingers were shaking as she reached for Stark, her hands heavy and stiff; _how do you work these things again?_

Tony started upon seeing Tasha's shuddering figure, immediately Stark panicked and fell backwards, crashing to the floor. He began crying hysterically; it hurt to watch.  
She felt a plug in her memory, had she hit her head?  
Something wasn't adding up...  
"Stark...what's wrong...how did we get here?"

His face suddenly became blurry as her own tears subconsciously formed and began pouring; it was like her body knew what had happened and her mind was waiting to catch up. Instantly big hands gripped Romanoff's shoulders; Pietro, she thought as a sliver of silver flashed in her vision and Pepper rushed to Tony's side. But Romanoff and Stark never broke eye contact, despite the numerous patients and family and doctors who stepped between the distancing figures.

Natasha sobbed and collapsed, letting Maximoff support her completely as she heard Stark's overwhelming roar "I didn't mean it! I NEVER MEANT TO HURT HIM..."  
This time her vision went blank and the sounds began to sink into the river of silence, the last things she heard were combined of clawing breath, muffled sobs, meaningless assurances and one word: "Steve."

 **One month earlier**

"So...how'd the tests go? Will...will we be able to do this, Doc?" Nat licked her already wet lips, her throat felt like the safari desert and no amount of water could damp the sand storm building inside; she'd already helped herself to five glasses of water.  
Next to her Steve's hand was limp in her own, she turned to look at him, confusion and anger fighting for assurance that he was with her.  
He was staring at the floor as if it was about to open a portal to another dimension; then again Thor had a tendency to pick his timings uniquely.

The Doctor, wasn't immune to Rogers' lack of scrutiny either, coughed reaching for the heroes concentration; after all it was a delicate matter. "Well, with anyone else, the chances would be non-existent. But with Mr Rogers' enhanced...abilities, I'd definitely feel confident telling you there's a chance. It appears the serum hasn't revealed any faults yet?" His question was directed to Steve, who was still intently monitoring the floor.

Nat scowled "Except maybe in the length of his attention span..." Her harsh snarl seemed to pull something from the Super Soldier, who looked up, dazed and oblivious to the previous comments dispatched between the Obstetrician and his wife, who grimaced disapprovingly.  
The Doctor coughed once more, clearing the formidable tension rising between the married couple, Steve still seeming stunned. Steve finally spoke, catching on to his fulfilled performance of ignorance which he'd also appeared to overlook.  
"I'm sorry, beg your pardon Doc?"

An amused frown creased the aging Obstetrician's face, "I was just discussing the likelihood of your sperm succeeding with Mrs Rogers'..." Steve held out his hand, blushing at the entertained Doctor, pocking fun at the American Captain and his modest naivety. "Okay..ah, so we've definitely got a chance at conceiving a child then?"  
His hand reached for Romanoff's - despite the recent marriage both Avengers still referred to Nat as Romanoff, out of habit more than anything else - snatched-away fingers, holding her once again with such steady confidence her anger subsided, slightly. "Oh more than a chance, and if Mrs Rogers' were to get pregnant I'm also fairly certain the baby would be healthy."  
Nat's smile tweaked downwards "Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves. We've got to get through a lot just to get to the pregnancy...we'll see where it goes from there." Natasha gulped down another glass of water as a bemused expression returned to Rogers' retreating presence in the room; Nat was loosing him to his reveries again.

From the scattered glances the Doctor shared with his watch Tasha guessed their appointment was over, but crude hints were discarded by Steve's daydreaming exterior. The Doctor almost took pity on the couple, muttering in a voice filled with enough self-respect and righteousness - that he believed his words were fact - to be disguised as Tony Stark; _the billionaire who'd paid for the hospital's secrecy about the Rogers' visits here._ Nat chided of herself, remembering Stark's determined attempts at redemption.  
"I'll give you two a minute to adjust to your options..." The Obstetrician stood to leave, calling to Steve as a last thought "Please make sure, this is what you want." His eyes glazed over Nat's dominate demeanour in the room. "Both of you" When the door shut Nat growled, _rude little bastard!_

Her attention was immediately brought back to the more pressing silence in the room, Widow held back her bitter resentment after another look at Cap's lined features; the stress of the Avengers and the journey SHIELD had to endure was reflected in a lot of things: the amount of liquor absorbed by Stark, the quiet halls of the new SHIELD base during the week, the building agreements and minoring controversy between the worn security council and the face of the man Natasha Rogers' loved more than anything she'd ever possessed or admired.

As SHIELD's enforcement had matured so had the people behind it, the main people putting in the hours of work and years of concern.  
Captain America had been one of the biggest parts of that jigsaw and just like history repeating itself there looked to be no immediate pay-off, Natasha was making this; her life with her husband and their future family, the pay-off.

"Steve...are you alright?" Her hand smoothed the abrupt hairs of his arms, reassuring him with every touch. Once again he shook out of it, his eyes searching for the absent Doctor. He finally looked at Tasha's anxious features, his thumb rested against her cheek "Fine, just...Fury sort of dropped a bomb on me earlier."  
Nat's jaw set, a sigh escaping her sealed lips.  
Widow wasn't convinced her worry for Steve's consent to this; to her was drowned but she was relieved he wasn't panicking and demanding a divorce.

"What's going on?" Steve's face broke slightly, his hand returning to his still side. "Rockwell past away this morning." Natasha gasped, she'd never encountered the security councillors except during her and Rogers' battle many years ago with the Winter Soldier, when Widow and Fury had saved all the council members whilst killing Alexander Pierce and stopping Project: Insight as well as helping uncover Hydra's corruption inside of the old SHIELD.

Steve continued, bowing his head in an act of respect "There isn't much time left and soon enough the entire Security council will need replacing, so in the mean time Fury and Coulson want that space filled straight away. It might not even be permanent, but until everything in Sokovia is settled they need somebody to step up."  
Despite the year that had passed between the battle of Ultron and now, Sokovia had never been the same.  
Demanding immediate custody of the Avengers, who had to 'pay for the damage they'd caused there' despite of course saving millions of lives which had massively out number the deceased.

But that never seemed to matter, and this time was different; this time the problem had been more personal. Closer to the Avengers' hearts because one of their own had actually created the Ultron programme; that variable always has, and always will, weigh and hold Tony Stark back no matter how hard he tries to redeem himself.

However with the constant negotiation between SHIELD and the security council Sokovia had moved forward, no longer requesting the Avengers' heads on pitch forks, but they'd never be the same. "So they approved you and offered you the position." Steve nodded solemnly, Romanoff's breath was short and shallow.

It was hard enough that the couple would have to begin separating themselves from the Avengers to start a family, let alone from SHIELD. No matter what they did they'd always be targets, and now that Coulson and Nick had offered him a position at the World's security council it was going to be near impossible for him to be part of the Avengers, let alone settle down with a new family.

She felt hollow as the words left her crumbling bundle of hope "What did you say?" Her eyes strained to stay empty and she captivated his most recent habit; staring at the floor whilst dreading the worst.

His eyes pulled her to look at him, as Steve's soft fingers hooked under her chin. Giving in to the destructive feeling building in her gut she prepared for a flinch she'd attempt to conceal. "I refused." Her eyes slammed open and her heart pounded in her chest as she stared in shear shock at her husband.  
A tear jumped from her left orb, soon smudged away by the pad of his thumb. "Wh...why?"

Steve laughed "How could I organize Stark's latest grocery budge with a group of nagging elderly members, when I'm too busy raising our child with my beautiful wife?" Natasha chuckled as more tears fell and Steve kissed them away, pulling her closer to him.

Her voice broke over the pulse of overwhelming bliss of pure prosperity that moved alone the nerves of her body, at his more than consoling lyrics of love. "I thought..." she gasped for air, hugging him back tightly "I thought...you didn't want, this...our child, me." He silenced her foolish assumptions, his hands massaging her hunched back and running through her silky tassels.  
He pulled her away to look up at him "You know for one of the smartest people this world has to offer, you can be impeccably ludicrous. There is nothing in this world that could make me give up you and our family and there will never be anything anybody has to offer me that you don't outshine. I'm not going anywhere, no matter how secured up our universe is!"

Natasha giggled, taking his golden locks in her hands "That is the most selfish thing you've ever said to me Steve Rogers..." She stared at his perceptive eyes "And I love you endlessly for it!"  
Their kiss was anything but brief, the burst of passion excelled into a tempting make-out session, but a knock at the door pulled the couple back. Their smiles bigger than Thor's biceps and brighter than his gloriously sunny hair.

* * *

When the emotional couple returned to the Avengers facility, walking in on a last minute training session after having changed into their uniforms, Barton released his hold on Pietro's neck - Stark had recently been creating new weapons and technology to challenge the new Avengers varied skill set and it appeared some of it was working on the young Quicksilver - and ran to Natasha.  
He wrapped the spy in a hug whilst flashing Cap a welcoming smile, "How'd it go?" Clint whispered, it was no secret the co-leaders of the Avengers were starting to settled down, but it hadn't daunted on all members of the team what that would mean and Romanoff wanted things to be kept quiet. At least until it was determined that she definitely could conceive a child, otherwise it would just be embarrassing and she'd never be able to move forward from it.

She smiled happily at him, showing more than she could say with just one feature. Out of the corner of her eye the spy spied Wilson - who also knew as much as Barton - wanting to come over, but causing a fuss would only allow the younger members to speculate.  
Nat removed herself from her old partner's comforting arms and walked to Wanda, during the procedure of training the Maximoff twins, both Wanda and Pietro formed strong bonds with the previous assassins.

\- As well as Wanda beginning an intriguing relationship with Vision, which was more of a mutual understanding and attraction as well as powerful bond than anything else. Vision seemed to trust Stark the most out of all the team, and Wanda obviously Pietro, but after that was each other. Their alliance was one of the most amazingly bewildered things Natasha had seen. -

The twins relationship was like that of Romanoff and Barton's in the sense that when they'd first been introduced to SHIELD they only had each other to lean on, Clint and Nat hadn't wasted a flicker of time to get them as comfortable and secure in their abilities as anybody else in the team.  
They'd even warmed up to Tony which had surprised just about everybody, "How's it going Wanda?" The girl was concentrating on force fields at the moment, she could always create them; as many as she wished. But her difficulty was keeping them up for a matter of mere seconds let alone minutes, especially if she had a lot on the go at the same time.

Right now Jane, Pepper, Tony, Maria and Rhodey were stood in the wide space before the young girl, all resting in different positions on different levels. Lazars were being shot from a projection at the opposite end of the hall, if one of them got hit with a projection of gunfire FRIDAY would claim that they'd just been shot.  
Wanda wouldn't necessarily have to use this for any of the Avengers given their armour and amount of movement in the field, it was more practice for civilians so the human 'dummies' - Nat eyed Stark with a sly smile - were just standing in.

Scarlet Witch took a deep breath, her eyes closed as the force-field's complexion grew brighter and then FRIDAY shut down the programme allowing Maximoff to rest for 5 minutes. She turned to face an appreciative Widow, smiling proudly at her growing stamina of powers. "You ready for a round in the ring?"  
It was as important Wanda learned to defend herself with her abilities as it was without, you never knew what new weapons you'd encounter in the field and the more the co-leaders limited their teammates abilities the more chance of injury and loose of life the enemy posed.

Wanda's eerie shadow of confidence shredded into tiny fragments of insecurity, she nodded sullen and stubbornly; no matter how scared either of the twins were they weren't quitters.

The entire team gathered around the sparing ring, it was always entertaining to watch somebody's ass get kicked by Widow; but in Wanda's cause they were there more for support and pointers as well as trying to discourage Nat as much as possible.  
Natasha stepped into the ring and immediately: Barton, Wilson, Stark and Rogers' began bowing. Natasha motioned that she was watching them before flashing her finger, which met with a howl of "Ohhh!"

Wanda then stepped on and the group began cheering, causing the intimidated girl, who was curling further and further into herself, to return a shaky bow.

Silence sounded as she took a defensive stance and Natasha made the first step, taking the offense. She threw a few punches which Wanda dodged easily enough, then when Maximoff blocked a punch badly; she left her right side vulnerable. Nat spun kicking out, Wanda reacting well though, grabbing the foot on impact and attempting to use Romanoff's strength against her.  
Maximoff pushed her away and Tasha took the opportunity to show off her horizontal three-spin in the air before landing gracefully. Gasps of praise applauded the spies latest stunt.

Stark yelled "Have we been taking pointers from Rogers, Red?" A few enthralling acknowledgments warned Stark of the on coming attack "At least I don't get shown up by Potts' better aim and accuracy, even though you've had your suits for 3 years more than her. Are we getting a bit weary from all the action?" Nat winked and Stark high-fived Pietro whispering "You know it!" As Pepper blushed endlessly before shooting her fiancé daggers.

Wanda then surprised everyone by advancing towards Nat and succeeding in keeping the spy on her toes as well as knocking her about a bit, then FRIDAY's voice spoke out, momentarily putting the sparing match on hold.  
"Mrs Rogers', Nick Fury is waiting in the dinning area, requesting your presence." Nat's eyes fell from the ceiling to Steve's attempt to walk towards the door at which FRIDAY responded "I'm sorry sir, Mr Fury has requested Natasha's presence alone."

Nat bit her lip before motioning for Barton to take over, she whispered an encouragement to Wanda "I want a rematch." her hand resting gently on the girls' shoulder, then on her way out Romanoff squeezed Steve's hand, Wilson and Stark materialising next to Cap as Widow evacuated the training room.

* * *

Due to Fury's brief disentanglement with SHIELD and donation of the title of Director of SHIELD to Coulson, Nat couldn't help but feel a little pit opening in her stomach every time he was mentioned.  
For somebody who'd attempted to break away from the agency for a brief period of time, Nick was still heavily caught up in the web of SHIELD; some people would refer to it as a cage, Natasha being one of them.

Gingerly Romanoff entered the dinning room, seeing the exhausted shadow of constant use and active celebrations gripping the furniture, Nat sat in her regular seat - even when a member wasn't there their seat was never occupied by anybody other than them, it was actually a pleasant feeling; knowing you always had a place at the Avengers tower - feeling the sleepy fabric sighing as she rested against the amenity of family and as strange as it sounds...a sense of equality.

 _It's just a chair, Romanoff._ Nat inwardly scolded herself; it was much more than a chair, it was insurance.

"Do you need a minute?" Fury's tedious tone brought the young woman from her trance, she hadn't even noticed him in the dinning room. Which was anything but a pleasure, after all he'd asked her here and she hadn't even looked for him.  
Nat motioned to the chair to the right of her "Fury, what can I do for you?" But Nick choose the opposing one, Fury was one of the few people in this world Natasha felt she had to be...careful with.  
They trusted each other; to an extent, but like all trusting relations everybody has their limits. He was one of the rare humans Natasha struggled to pinpoint where she stood with him, Steve had been one of those people.

But she known placed that uncertainty down to her growing attachment and affection for Cap, now she trusted him as equally as Barton.

Nick regarded the former SHIELD agent, after the battle of Ultron everybody had taken further and deeper steps into SHIELD, in order to reduce its overpowering intimidation and to not only help themselves trust the agency more but for civilians to do so as well:  
Banner and Stark now ran and housed the intelligence facility, all things involving their expertise - science, lab work, weaponry, engineering, computers and the like (so pretty much the main responses of the agency) - as well as starting another training programme for future generations to follow in their footsteps.

Meanwhile Natasha helped lead - with Barton's help and Rogers' heading the department - all things physical: the defence, the international negotiation, the world's security, dealing with the public, rules and planning and training for future SHIELD agents and possible Avenger recruits. In other words Steve set the terms and Stark helped enforce them.

However the Avengers were a very different thing, they considered themselves founded by SHIELD but were now a full working industry to protect everybody, not just SHIELD or America, though most people found that hard to believe. The distinction had been hard to draw, but once the line was draw it just needed some tracing and bam!  
Things had settled fairly rapidly.

Natasha was no longer seen as just a SHIELD agent, but as one of the many deputies to Director Coulson and an Avenger co-leader. Technically, Fury had no power over her, but she by no means had any authority over him either; if anything it was a mutual ground of hostile respect.

"I understand Rogers' told you of the offer Coulson and I proposed." Fury stared at Natasha with something she could only place as appreciation but with the crudeness of their most previous interactions she would be lying if she wasn't puzzled by it.

Romanoff held herself high; _she can face him without feeling like a minor._ She'd been doing so for so long now; that's what he'd liked about her. But now that she was on equal footing it was suddenly a challenge, strange she contemplated. "I heard about it."

"Am I wrong in presuming you're the one who encouraged him to decline." Nat tried to not let her emotions sink her below his level "No, actually. He made the decision before telling me, irritated he's not as predictable as you pictured?" She spat the last part.

"More surprised if anything else."  
Nat was exhausted with playing games, one thing she enjoyed about Phil's new Direction of SHIELD. "Nick, what are you doing here? If you wanted a check up or to express you're annoyance at Steve's independence I'm sure Coulson would be a happy ear for you to talk off and I'm positive he'll do a much better job at defending my husband's choices than I will." It was bitter, but the truth.

Nick eyed her with a curious eye, "Exactly...he's your husband."  
Natasha wasn't in the mood, her delicious moment of sugar had turned bittersweet at Fury's tangy presence. "So?" Romanoff was loosing interest and fast, Fury knew he didn't have long until she'd storm the building.

"You and I both know he's the best man for this job, and it seems when I can't convince him of something. There's only one person who can..." _You._  
Natasha's eyes narrowed and her jaw fixed as her hostility to the 'retired' Director played the cards on the table, no matter how much Nick gave away...he always had the power.  
He always took what he'd once offered, it didn't matter that Coulson was the Director of SHIELD; Fury was clearly still pulling the strings.

She stood, slamming her fists against the mahogany table "You're twisted, you know that? After everything he's done for you, for SHIELD..."  
Fury didn't flinch but shuffled backwards slightly "He didn't do any of that for me or SHIELD, he did that because it was the right thing to do."

"Exactly! He's Captain fucking America...he always does the right thing! Always puts others before himself, so clearly if he felt stepping in for the council was going to benefit anybody except you and your selfish little games, he would of!"

Fury retaliated with just as much fire, it was just concealed better. "You're wrong Natasha."

The spy interrupted immediately "Do you really think if he wanted to be part of your precise council, I'd be able to stop him? Did you ever think that maybe he just doesn't want to do it?"

To which Fury reasoned "We both know he's not stepping up for one reason and one reason only..."

Natasha was having none of it, whilst she was screaming she was vaguely aware of how amplified her voice was; she won't be surprised if they heard her down in the basement. "Yes, because he has done enough. Steve's one flaw has been the one thing which has made him worthy to be Captain America...he never thinks he has done enough. But he's finished being your little doll Nick, we all are! It's time for him to pass the torch alone, let him go."

"And what if there's no one to pass the torch to, what do you expect me to do then? What do you suppose he'll do?" Nat was silenced, Fury had trapped her, she knew just as well as she knew her right hand from her ear, of course Steve would keep going.

"That's different, you can't force him to do anything. We both know there are hundreds of other people who would happily step in for the council." Nick stood, leaning over Natasha "But are they worthy? Will they do as good a job as him?"

Tasha's head shook, nobody would _ever_ do a job as well as him. "I'm not going to convince my husband to do something he clearly doesn't want to do."

Fury then took it a step too far, for the first time since Romanoff had met Fury she saw some resemblance that he was human; for the first time regret filled his eyes after he'd uttered the words "Are you sure it's he who doesn't want to do this, or you?"

Fury responded, trying to save his own skin "It's not an unreasonable request Romanoff, I'm just asking you to talk to him, you've done worse..."

Natasha was fighting between not wanting to waste another second of her time in his presence or tackling him to the ground to throttle any other wise words from his lips. She charged for the door, right before leaving she whispered "After everything we've been through, after everything you've kept from me...you're right. I'm being selfish, I don't want Steve to take the job, why would I? We're finally happy...I can finally have something that has always been off-limits for me. But what makes it okay, is that he's being selfish too, Rogers' wants this, he wants me and he wants to spend his time with me and our family." She walked out the door, about to shut it when Fury muttered "A while ago I'd be part of that family."

 _That was it._ The chord was snapped, like elastic it pinged but this time didn't bounce back, the relationship was torn in two.  
The final words she struggled to possess even a fracture of power for stopped at her lips, there was nothing else left for her to do; she slammed the door shut.

BANG!

The shock of which making her flinch as she did so.

Natasha was so imprisoned in her own piousness questions she walked straight into Stark who was huddled behind the wall, a face of pure shock masked his usually light-hearted character, _How much had he heard?_

Enough by the looks of things, Nat rushed past him, she needed to get out of here.

She clambered into the elevator and FRIDAY's wispy voice followed her like it usually would; she missed JARVIS. "Miss Rogers' is everything alright?" Nat didn't answer, scared of what the sound of her own cold, heartless voice would do to her.

The elevator doors opened up onto the lounge level, she heard the mild sound of laughter which soon subsided, prying eyes stalked the stoic girl. Natasha walked past them all to the kitchen where she grabbed Stark's opened bottle of whiskey and downed its contents.  
She felt eyes burning into her flesh, "Is everything alright Lady Natasha?" Nat opened her eyes and grinned before embracing the heavenly God "Thor!" she squealed as he lifted her up in a happy hug.

For an instant she forgot herself and immersed herself in the happiness of being greeted by an innocent face. But when he put her down the weight fell on her in a tumble.  
Barton and Steve were staring in worry, but Wanda and Maria looked at Natasha knowingly, _of course...Hill knows. Hill always knows_

Wilson asked, his arm wrapping around her back "Everything alright Tasha?" eyeing the bottle of whiskey which returned to her hand. She still felt Hills' eyes on her, Pepper sat a little straighter "What did Fury want? We heard...quite an argument."

Romanoff felt she couldn't say anything, it would lead to questions; to her and Steve. Maybe even resulting in the team looking at them with loath, how could they be so selfish and yet lead the Avengers?

Maria saw the indecision in her friend's eyes. "As some of you know, Rockwell passed away this morning."  
"Rockwell?" Wilson paused and Hill explained "One of the councillors on the World Security Council, we desperately need a replacement. Not forever, just until we come up with anything else, whilst things die down in Sokovia. So Director Coulson" For a second Nat though Hill would say 'Fury' after Director. "and Fury approached Cap this morning and offered him the position."

Sam whistled in admiration, that was one big step. "But Steve refused."

Rhodey coughed his drink "What?"  
Thor turned to Steve for assurance, whilst Jane shifted uncomfortably. Feeling she was intruding on something private, Maria surprisingly fought in Cap's defence "If he agreed, Rogers' would have to give up being an Avenger and his job at SHIELD."

Pietro turned "Why?"

Steve spoke up for himself, moving to stand next to Natasha who let him embrace her side "Because, if not my decisions would be insanely bias and I would have a bigger influence as well as the power to go rogue, by possibly leading the Avengers against the council if I disagreed with their decisions."

Barton blurted out "Of course you'd never do either of those things, though."  
Steve shrugged in response "Even the possibility puts the council on edge and it's not exactly like any of us are begging for more work..." he muttered to the floor rather than to the faces of his friends. "I know it's selfish..."

Pepper began assuring him quickly "Steve, none of us would ever put you and the word selfish in the same sentence, you're entitled to as much freedom of choice as any of us. And I think we can all agree you deserve the biggest break from this stressful environment."

Their friends muttered in agreement, too often Steve dealt with problems the other Avengers didn't even know existed. He bottled them up to save their skin by putting his neck on the line countlessly.

Jane continued with the needed confidence boost "You need to remember that the world isn't just resting on your shoulders', but all of ours."  
After a pause Pepper moved the conversation back slowly "Anyway, if the council truly feels that way why were you even approached for the job? Surely Fury and Phil have to abide by their rules."  
Natasha muttered under her breath "Fury doesn't have to abide by anybody's rules!"

Maria ignored Romanoff and addressed Pepper "Because right now the coin is horizontal, it could flip on either side. America is so close to regaining Sokovia's trust, they just need one final push. It's too dangerous to leave hanging and Director Coulson fears Hydra's gonna strike whilst we're in the midst of fixing what few problems SHIELD has, in case that happens the council needs all members in order to make a fair, stable decision. And truthfully there is nobody better qualified to do so, the council may not be as taken with Captain Rogers' as Coulson but they'd rather except him than somebody else. At least they know he'll do the right thing, even if it goes against their protocol."

Thanks to Maria Hill, most questions were answered except Barton's "Nat...what did Fury want?" Nat felt her eyes lower as she gulped "He wanted me to convince Steve to accept the position."  
Wanda looked up, her eyes filled with sympathy "What did you tell him?" She questioned quietly "Oh she told him where to go alright!" Stark appeared from the elevator, stealing their attention "I caught the last few seconds...sent chills down my spine...Hey!" He snatched the whiskey bottle away "Don't worry he's gone now."

As helpful as that was, Romanoff invested little assurance in it. Sam whispered into her and Cap's ears "If Fury really is that desperate surely he won't stop just because Romanoff told him to stick it where the sun don't shine...who you suppose he'll consider next?"  
Steve's eyes surveyed the surrounding Avengers all of whom were deep in thought, looking at Natasha and Steve with vividly mixed opinions.  
"I don't know..."


	2. Anything but equal

Natasha snapped awake, a shiver escaping her burning skin. Sweat draped over her ghostly complexion, her cheekbones left haunting shadows across her face in the limited light; making her look thinner and taut-like.  
As if sensing the deep blush of fear decorating her cheeks "Natasha..." A sleepy voice blew the nightmare away, taking deep breaths she settled down next to her husband. Allowing his arms to envelope around her, she rested her head on his chest.

An expectant hush danced in the nightlight as Steve's fingers subtly rubbed her skin, they crept up to her forehead and Romanoff felt the breath of wind escaping his mouth when he discovered her extreme temperature. "Nat...What's wrong?" He sat up quickly, pulling her round to face him; her eyes were blank and bottomless.  
Her voice sojourn as she spoke "It was just a bad dream."

Hurriedly Steve slaughtered his sleep capture and became as omnipresent as the nerves burning a fire in her veins, but his voice was soft and skilful as he drew the demons out from her mind "Tell me about it." preparing to protect her from her own piercing anxiety. Tasha took a deep steadying breath "It worked...you got me pregnant" on the surface of Romanoff's elaboration Rogers' fought back a smile; knowing just how manipulative his wife's mentality could be. "But...I couldn't carry it, my body rejected it" The excruciatingly swift manipulation crushed Cap's smile and he concentrated on not clenching his muscles at the vexation.

Nat's body was establishing a quick cover for the pain in her heart by shuddering against the cool climate; Steve knew better and drew her closer. His body absorbing the full force of her pain as she endlessly shivered against him.

"Somehow I managed to keep the baby...until I went into labour and then my body gave the final strike. I killed it, I killed our child." Steve was seeking for security, insurance that that wouldn't happen; truthfully he couldn't promise her that.

"Natasha...you remember what the Doctor said today right? That _when_ we get pregnant there is a very strong, almost definite chance that he or she will be healthy. You know why he was so certain, right? Because the baby could inherit either of our serums. That means our baby will be a fighter and so are you, so even though I cannot...guaranty that your body won't put up a fight, I know your mind will do everything in its power to protect our child!" His words, no matter how discouraging they sounded to his own ears, left Romanoff with determination, Steve knew just by looking at her that he'd gotten through to her.

For a second the roar of blood pounding in Romanoff's ears overshadowed everything, but soon that subsided and certainty was inhaled into her body. A deep feeling of control and, not so much determination but, stubbornness growled hungrily in her stomach as the ancient yearning for fire embedded into her mind, like an engraving.

Natasha chased away the remaining intimidations and turned to Steve, he looked at her with the same reciprocated love. Frozen breath exploded her mouth as they kissed, desperately and wildly, neither resolving for an old, worn gown of passion. A new urgency drove the kiss, turning it into so much more, quickly they rolled backwards Natasha straddling Steve as the kiss deepened and a chorus of groans were liberated from his mouth.

* * *

 _Their shadows wrapped around his sleeping form, encaging him. Suddenly Stark woke up; recognising his gloomy surroundings of a destroyed earth. Panic filled his ears like a drum beat; "No! NO NOOOOOOO!" He spun searching for his deepest fear. There laying several metres away was his team, the blunt effect of change hit him like a ton of bricks.  
_ Unlike _the last time he received this vision each member of the team was there, even the new ones, this time with their own little families surrounding them: The Maximoff twins were wrapped in each other's arms, Vision's hand tangled with Wanda's as the witch held her brother, Thor was crushing a limp shadow of Jane; like he was protecting her already deceased body before his own death, Clint was holding onto Laura and their three children, blood still leaking from his head._

 _What broke his heart further were the distanced bodies of Rhodey, Wilson and Banner. All three had family, but Stark guessed they'd never found their special someone; not before this catastrophe, anyway._

 _Tony's eyes searched for the last two members, a tear leaving his eye when he saw them; their bodies curled around each other, Steve's face still strained with fear. Stark crumbled under the weight of seeing a distinctive bump rising from Natasha's stomach._

 _The conflicted billionaire waited, dreading the words he predicted to escape Cap's lips, but they never came. And then a dagger pierced his already cracked exterior as the words entered his ears, but they came from a different body.  
Stark screamed as he turned and saw Pepper, her eyes; darkening and her cheeks loosing colour as she spoke "You could have saved us..." To Tony it didn't matter that his body hadn't bled out, that his heart was supposedly still beating; seeing Pepper like that had killed him. He rolled forwards on top of her statue stillness, weeping at his own existence as the mistake replayed again and again..._

"Huh!" Stark sprang forwards, sweat pouring off his skin, his breath sonic booms in the early morning silence. Pepper's hands caressed his back as her sweet voice dared to bring him back "Tony...what's wrong?"  
His eyes were staring forward; momentarily oblivious to the support Pepper was trying to offer. He stammered "It's going to happen again...all of it!" He clambered out of bed, frantically searching for what he'd seen...the foreseeable future.

"Tony you're scaring me. What's happening? What's going to happen again?" A gasp of fear escaped her lips when he dashed to her, his hands holding her head to keep eye-contact. He kissed her forehead firmly; he'd do anything to protect the people he loves "Don't worry I'll protect you, I won't let them hurt you."  
Faster than he'd come he soon stepped back, pulling on trousers over his boxers as he did so.  
Potts abandoned the warm bed and the previous comfort she'd felt with her fiancé "Tony! Protect me from what? What did you see?" That finally stopped Stark, his pause was the downfall as Pepper reached him, her small hands wrapping around his white knuckles from the pressure in his bones; she pulled him back to the bed.  
"Destruction...chaos...we're humans! It's in our nature, Ultron...the human extinction...a leader to slaves! It will just keep coming...I...I have to do something, about it!"

Pepper took a deep breath at the mention of Ultron "Tony, you had a nightmare. Okay, you've proved yourself, you're redeemed. Ultron...he's gone, destroyed. We're safe!"  
He shook his head viciously "We'll never be safe! Not when we're vulnerable like this. SHIELD may be stepping back to its original place but what's to stop Hydra from tearing it back down? Or anyone for that matter? I created Ultron to fight the battles we never could, just the reason Fury assembled the Avengers in the first frickin place! We can't keep fighting, not forever...and even when we do stop and it's left to the newbies...who goes after them? The world will run out of superheroes! It always does...and as long as you have heroes...you have villains"

Stark began pacing, with Potts desperately trying to keep up. Pepper was desperately trying to find something encouraging to say, but nothing came to mind; it was too early to be optimistic "I hate to say it, but you're right, Tony. But there's nothing you can do about it." Pepper desperately wanted to relax him, if he just got a few more hours of sleep he'd wake up again and feel much better...but knowing Tony Stark meant you knew once he was awake he wasn't going back to bed.

Tony suddenly paused on mid-turn and faced Pepper before charging out of their bedroom, Pepper groaned before chasing after him "Tony, where are you going?" Her shout would probably wake up the other Avengers on their own floors, that is if they weren't already awake.  
She paused before the elevator doors, staring doubtingly at her fiancé, his yell filled her eyes with dread when he responded before the elevator doors closed their connection "To call the World Security Council!"

* * *

"I thought you said he'd be a definite representative for the council?" Singh let a slightly drowsy sigh escape his dry lips; their meeting was a bit earlier than usual. When Fury had informed Coulson of Rogers' response the Director hadn't wasted a second to inform the remaining Security Council members who called for immediate action.

Coulson stepped forwards offering some more light on the subject "We thought so too; however Captain Rogers' has more pressing matters and opportunities he'd rather fulfil." Hawley was beginning to lose her temper with the always defensive super-fan who was running SHIELD "Clearly you didn't explain how immediate we need another representative!"

Fury spoke for the first time "On the contrary, I believe we made it too clear, he's got a lot on his plate at the moment. A lot clouding his vision and a proposal as intimidating as this would have been another thing to add to the growing list."

Yen, who up until this point had been stealthily observing, now placed his head in his hands. Showing weakness at the demands of being a World Security council member, which were soon becoming tedious due to the original members' growing ages. "What do you suggest we do? Captain Rogers' was our best bet..."  
With a flick of his wrist, Coulson sent a series of résumés from his digital screen to the surrounding glass projections "We have a long list of possible candidates who would be more than..."

Nagendra interrupted crudely "We don't need candidates, or résumés or interviews...we need an immediate replacement! Somebody we know we can trust...who will do _his_ best!" The emphasis on 'his' portrayed the council's inability to move forwards from Steve Rogers.  
Hawley responded "I vote for another approach to Captain Rogers." Fury and Phil shared a look which caught the members' attention; Yen suggested "Have you approached Ms Romanoff?"  
"Rogers!" Coulson corrected, earning a side-glare.

Fury struggled to keep his expression neutral as he responded "We attempted to persuade the Black Widow to negotiate, but she refused."  
Singh growled "Try again! Offer money...a house, anything!"  
Fury snapped, surprising everyone, but Phil by the tone of his voice "That is not an option! The Rogers' have made their decision and it's time we made peace with it, I will not have you threaten a family for wanting to get away from this screw-up of an agency!"

A gasp echoed around the bleak dullness of the precise suite; not at his insignificant justification of the Rogers' declination, but by the passion and fervour at which he'd delivered it.

"Well if not him, then who?"

A door slammed shut and the tension building in the room was sliced through by Tony Stark's miraculous appearance into the meeting. "Me."

"Mr Stark, this is a very serious matter to which..."

"I'm as serious as it gets. I want to help, I want to step up."

Hawley eyed him incredulously "What makes you think you could do this as well as Mr Rogers?" Stark shrugged allowing Singh to sigh in frustration. "What makes you think I couldn't? Out of all the Avengers I've messed up the most..."

"Exactly!"

Tony nodded and pointed excitedly at the bitter elderly "Therefore I have the most experience fixing my screw ups! I can spot them easily and prevent the same ones from occurring, if anything I'm surprised and angry you didn't consider me at all!"

Coulson moved to defend his actions "We felt Steve was just a stron..." Stark whipped his explanation away "Oh, it's obvious Steve would do tremendously well. He'd be a clear winner if you were to pin us against each other, and I'd be happy with that. Steve's my friend, of course...but the fact that you didn't even approach me. Even after both Cap and Widow refused," Stark eyed Fury "By the way I caught your convo with Red, bit of a lousy move on your part Nick" Fury just rolled his eye, whilst hiding the guilt inside him.

Stark continued "You still didn't mention a thing to me, after everything I've done..."

"You mean like create an angry murder-bot that wanted to enslave and extinguish the human species?"

Tony just laughed. "SHIELD never changes," at that Phil perked up, his attention piqued "once you make a mistake, no matter if SHIELD is actually discovered to be one of the biggest screw-ups of the 21st century," mentioning Hydra was a bit of a sore blow, due to the fact that Stark hadn't exactly been hot on their tail either; however it wasn't his agency that was infiltrated "You can't fix it. SHIELD doesn't trust you to try and fix your mistakes, ever since Ultron I've done nothing but try to redeem myself! This is just another step to my ultimate goal, I will help SHIELD change, become a better agency...I've already helped upgrade your technology and facilities as well as funding at least half of the bill!"  
As an afterthought Stark pointed around the room "This building is technically mine!"

Yen responded calmly, definitely intrigued by what Mr Stark had to offer, "So you claim you want to be redeemed, what if you are. What if this is just SHIELD's version of redemption? You'll never be pleased with the end result; you're Tony Stark, the kid who grew up with a silver spoon in hand!"

"Gold actually!" Stark took it in stride, returning to the burning topic "Your council's goals are...what exactly?"

Director Coulson ran them off, just from memory "facilitating cooperation in international law, international security, economic development, social progress, human rights, and achievement of world peace." Tony gave him a proud thumbs-up before muttering "And so far...what? You accomplished 12% of that?"

Nagendra Singh growled "Are you just here to insult us, Mr Stark?" Tony smiled a smug smirk, finally gaining all sources of attention "No! I've told you my flaws and I've told you yours, now...I feel that being part of this council will not only favour your needs but the worlds! At the moment new catastrophes are opening up each day and that's because there are too many rules! If you begin to eliminate them...humanity will thrive, you've seen for yourself; all these useless rules do is pose as a wall to be smashed, nobody listens to them because they're washing away humanity!"

Fury was now curious "So what, you want us to hand over the keys to the world and let you run wild?"

"No, I said there were too many rules; I didn't say I should rule it. I don't think any one person should and I agree there are far more suitable people who could take this position, far more people who should. Cap being one of them, however he's declined and no matter how much you dislike"

"Loath!" Singh spat.

"Me...you're so desperate you have to at least consider me!" Their judgemental silence wraps around Stark like a blanket, nobody makes a move to respond so Tony turns to Coulson "Director, come on! At least let me have a crack at this!" He can see the desire to just give Stark the position growing in Phil's eyes, but Coulson turns to the council. Silently deliberating before returning to Stark's suddenly kneeling stance on the floor "We'll consider you and be in touch Mr Stark!"

Tony jumps into the air, wrapping Coulson in a bear hug and then abandons the room as soon as possible.

* * *

Natasha was having another sparing match, this time with Steve. Out of everybody, they loved sparing with each other the most, because neither of them felt the need to hold back and they could very easily play dirty as long as it gave them the upper hand.  
As much as they'd deny it, both were extremely competitive, though it wouldn't take a scientist to guess.

Ducking a kick to the head Romanoff flung into a handstand, her calves clenching to hold onto his shoulders before slamming him backwards so he landed on the ground, his head between her knees.  
Romanoff couldn't contain her chuckles as he faked dying due to lack of breath, as her laughter consumed her; Steve's arms grabbed her knees and pushed upwards. Natasha abandoned her hold on him in order to tuck into a rollie-pollie so she wouldn't damage her neck when she crashed against the floor.  
Suddenly he was back on top of her, pinning her down. Their breaths mixed and their faces creeping closer until their noses touched.

As soon as a wolf-whistle blew from the opening door of the elevator the couple pulled back, rolling over in laughter "Keep it PG guys!" Barton called before tackling Romanoff when she stood up again, Nat elbowed her best friend in the grown and made to sprint to the elevator when Pietro rapidly grabbed her waist and pulled her away. Widow couldn't stop laughing when she found herself in Steve's arms again as he tickled her until her ribs hurt, she kicked out breaking free and ran behind Wanda as a force-field protected the huddled girls and Thor was blown backwards upon impact of said force-field.

Both girls stood, hands on hips, staring at the debating boys who admitted defeat; there was no way they could penetrate Wanda's powers. At least Stark hadn't discovered a device that could, yet.  
Speaking of the man, the leader, the iron himself; Stark bounded into the training area with a cattle of followers: Pepper, Jane, Banner, Rhodey, Vision and Wilson.

"Greetings loved ones!" Tony welcomed them with his usual peace sign before bowing to Wanda, whose force-field fell at the notion of respect.

"Mm, how come you guys are all up this early anyway?" Wilson asked, wiping the remainder of sleep from his voice. Jane glanced at her watch "Sam, it's 11:30." He looked at her with raised eyebrows to which Romanoff shook her head, sharing eye-rolling with Foster

"I have news!" Tony began, when nobody responded Stark continued "Guess who's been approached for the Security Council position?" Everybody else humoured Stark but Thor guessed for real "Umm, Pepper?"

Barton raised his voice "Wait! They approached you a day after cornering Rogers?" Tony scowled at the archer; _why was Clint so surprised?_

Potts corrected "Actually Tony approached them."  
"Pepper!" Stark whined childishly.

Banner said "So, if you approached them did they actually give you the position?" Stark's smile drowned slightly "Well, Coulson said they'd debate it and let me know."

Out of the corner of her eye Romanoff saw Steve tense, she questioned Stark "Why would you want to be on the Security Council anyway, I thought you were the one who wanted to get away from all this?" Widow remembered the heated argument Tony and Steve had shared at Barton's farm, stating that the whole point Stark had invented Ultron was so the Avengers could eventually retire.

The billionaire stuttered around the obvious and the truth, before determining his answer "Well..." he was still very much on the fence "Last night I had a nightmare," he turned to Wanda "Like the one little missy gave me all that time ago at Strucker's crib. Except this time, everyone was in it."

Thor asked "How did that convince you to volunteer for such a position of power?"

"Because, I wanted to stop future catastrophes from happening, because I want redemption, because I want to help." Natasha still sensed some hesitation from Stark, something wasn't right about this.

After a few more minutes of silence Tony finally bellowed "Well...aren't you guys happy for me? Proud that I'm finally growing up?" The team's reaction was somewhat disappointing for Tony, Romanoff saw the hurt creeping into his eyes so she took the first step "Bravo Stark, but if you don't mind I'd rather get back to kicking my teammates' ass!"

"Yeah well done, dude."  
"Congrats..."  
"I hope they pick you"

Then Pietro rounded on Romanoff "Wait...what part of kicking our ass occurred outside of Wanda's field?" Natasha snarled before tackling the cocky teen, they erupted into a fist fight before the originally fighting Avengers continued, with Rhodey, Vision and Wilson joining as well, whilst Banner sat down enjoying the entertainment before him.

Pepper returned to the elevator and called Stark in too, who'd momentarily been held up. "What's wrong now?" Potts' asked, business mood switching like a light, Tony tried to shake it off but the feeling wouldn't shift "They didn't exactly seem...thrilled that I'd taken the position."  
Pepper's head stayed down but her eyes followed her partner "In all fairness if you get picked what happens to them? I mean are they still going to live here? Will the Avengers loose one of their original teammates? These are all the sorts of questions and dilemmas Cap avoided by declining, as well as some of his reasoning behind that."

Tony stared at the strawberry blonde, slightly baffled "Wha?" Pepper just shook her head before the elevator door closed and the pair were gone.

* * *

"Promise you'll be back soon! And this time bring the fam...I haven't seen the kids in ages." Nat hugged Clint deeply before stepping away to join Wanda and Pietro, Natasha beamed as Steve and Barton - who'd been growing closer every day - exchanged a comfortable handshake and Romanoff just caught the whisper uttered between the pair.

Barton pulled Rogers' close "Now hurry up and put that serum to good use, when I get back I'm expecting baby news!" Steve blushed endlessly before laughing the matter off and then the team watched as Barton boarded his quinjet and flew off home.

"I caught that by the way." Nat's arms slide around Steve, who kissed her neck affectionately. "I wish I hadn't, do you know how much torment I'm gonna get put through when we do get pregnant?" Nat giggled, leading them back inside "You mean, how much we're gonna get."

Subtly the pair snuck off to their room, and as soon as the door closed Rogers' cold exterior returned, ever since yesterday in the training room he'd had a hard look about him.  
Almost as if he were in pain, she watched as the shadows under his eyes grew and grew, they could no longer be put down to just one restless sleep; he was worried about something.

Natasha removed her arm to talk to him properly, she wasn't gonna let him lie or keep her out and for that she couldn't be distracted by his burning touch. "Steve...what's going on?" He looked at her bizarrely; as if it was just any other day. "Nat, I'm fine. Just tired" Widow keep her glare, she was the spotlight on his performance; she'd reveal all mistakes.

"Fine...oh just to remind you we've got another hospital appointment tomorrow at 9." Romanoff moved to the bathroom but paused when she heard Rogers' uncomfortable exclamation.  
"I can't make the appointment tomorrow." A ripping pain tore at her heart, she turned on her heal and stared daggers at him. "Why not?" His eyes returned to the floor, even though Nat knew it wasn't going to open up into a portal Rogers' would definitely be getting closer to it if he didn't tell her what was going on.

"Steve." The warning was his last chance; they both knew Natasha wouldn't hold back on an interrogation, no matter who it was with. When she was just under his chin he spoke "I...er...have to meet Fury and..."  
Clawing from inside her chest a snarl escaped her lips as the truth was fed to her. "AND?"  
Steve went cold, the blood drained from his cheeks "And the World Security Council."

Never mind eyes turning him to stone, Widow's growl could freeze Steve in place as her icy fingers dragged against his skin, reaching for the honesty that he knew would break her heart.  
"After...after Stark told us about possibly being part of the council, I contacted Fury and we had a very deep conversation, which resulted in me arranging to meet with the Council tomorrow."

Nat's breath came out in short desperate puffs "Steve...what did you do?"

He gulped, his eyes locking onto her poisonous orbs for the first time that evening "I told them I'd join the Security Council." Romanoff's hand whipped out before she could think, the slap hit him harder mentally than it had physically, Romanoff wasn't even sorry.

She wanted to scream, to ask him why, to declare he was lying or this was just the worst joke she'd ever heard in the world. She said nothing as she charged to their bedroom, Steve grabbed her arm pulling her back round "Natasha...please let me explain."  
She choked out the words racing to escape her throat "You know how selfish that sounds right? You turn down the position because you claim, you'd be too busy, because there's no way you'd be able to be an Avenger as well as a councillor, there's no way you'd be able to be with me. And then as soon as Stark is interested in it...you go and accept it! Do you know how that sounds?"

Steve didn't respond, Natasha knew she was being unfair. It was Steve Rogers for fuck's sake, he didn't have a selfish bone in his body, of course he'd have a reasonable explanation for this.  
But right now she was still recovering from the sword he'd thrust into her, she scrambled away, screaming "You can sleep on the couch!" and slammed the bedroom door in his face.

Once the door shielded her from his sight she broke down, tears blinding her vision as she feel against the door. She knew Steve probably heard her, he probably felt her pain for God's sake...she wanted to be held by him, to hug him and kiss him. But he'd gone too far this time, no matter what his justification was...right now she didn't want to hear it. A sick thought pierced her mind:

 _Does this mean he doesn't want our child?_

* * *

Steve didn't sleep that night, from the sounds of things neither did Romanoff. He spent the first 5 hours of the evening outside that door, praying she'd come barraging through; furious and killer but still allowing him the chance to explain.

It would be easy for him to go and walk in, he doubted Nat would be able to do much to stop him...but it had to come from her; she had to be the one to open it. Cap had been with Widow long enough to know that if he forced his logic onto her she'd just get angrier.

 _Do you know how selfish that sounds?_

Yes, Steve knows how it sounds. But that's not why he returned to Fury, he didn't do it because he was suddenly jealous or envious of Stark. Another reason he'd turned down the position originally, and he hadn't told anybody this; not even Tasha, was despite Fury and Coulson's confidence in him and no matter even if the Council had been begging for him to join...Rogers' would have hesitated.  
Because he won't be taking the position for himself, or for them or even SHIELD...if Steve was going to take that seat on the council it would be for the people. And if there had been a small chance when Fury had offered him the position, that Rogers' would have said yes the first thing he would of asked for was proof that the people trusted Captain America enough to allow him to take this huge weight of responsibility, because in the end it's the people who would be affected by his decisions the most. It was always the people who were sacrificed, always the people who had to deal with the consequences of their decisions.

But when Fury had offered him the position there hadn't been a chance of him saying yes, so Steve wouldn't need an election or proof that the people trusted him and that's also why he felt it pointless to tell Natasha - or anyone else for that matter, about this other reason of hesitation.  
However, when Stark had told the team about his chance of joining the council Steve had tensed up. He just felt excessively cautious and for whatever reason hated the idea of Tony being part of the council.

Rogers' knows that sounds like jealousy but as soon as he'd been alone Steve had contacted Fury, which had led to Rogers' discovering and explaining his torn emotions.  
Tony's explanation had been a bit...patchy, it was almost like he'd left a part of his reasoning for why he wanted to be part of the council out; Nick then told Steve why:  
As it turned out Stark had explained to the council quite openly that he'd been disappointed they hadn't approached him for the job. Which Tony had neglected to inform the Avengers of when he'd told them of the offer, this led Steve to think that a lot of Tony's reasoning for wanting the position was down to not being offered it as Steve had.

Now Rogers' surprised himself by agreeing, Steve was taken aback that the council hadn't even spoken about the opening to Stark. After all Tony was funding a lot of their facilities, as well as setting up new connections. Stark was a big part of how SHIELD had managed to gain back their previous power so quickly, however that didn't mean Cap felt Stark was right for the gig - nor did Cap feel he, himself was perfect for it either.  
Steve was concerned that too much of Tony's justification was his annoyance and his guilt for Ultron; Stark had mentioned when explaining how he wanted redemption.  
A redemption everybody on the team, except for Tony, knew he wasn't going to get. At least not from the whole world, Ultron had just been too much of an incident, people across the world heard of it, people who weren't even there and that meant rumours and rumours meant somebody was being bias.

The entire team had forgiven Stark for it; it wasn't exactly like Tony had intentionally tried to extinguish the human species.

But he couldn't let Stark get this position of power. Steve felt Tony was too self-centred, despite his desperate attempts to redeem himself and the countless times Tony had saved the world and given up his own safety, Steve knew that yes Stark would do whatever it took to save his country and the world. _Iron man had proved that._  
But Cap was afraid he'd go about it the wrong way, sometimes Stark was just too human for his own good. In the sense that he'd try to do the right thing but it would back fire.

Honestly, Steve hated himself for contacting Fury, he hated himself for hurting Natasha and the promise he was breaking with her, he also hated himself for not trusting Stark with this amount of power; don't get him wrong Steve trusted Tony with his life, looked up to him, was entirely grateful for the countless times Stark had saved his ass and the amount of times Stark had been brave enough to face and pay for his mistakes...

But the doubts were too big and if Steve was the only one who felt them, then he would at least try to make peace with it; however he wasn't the only one who felt this way, and that was exactly why Fury had allowed Steve to meet with him tomorrow.

After the way the Rogers' had shut Nick down the other day, Cap was surprised he hadn't picked up the phone to a voicemail. But apparently the Council was split - given the fact that the Council was missing one member Coulson, as the Director of SHIELD had a stronger say in the matter than he would normally - Hawley and Singh were completely against Tony even being considered as a member:

For the same reasons they'd been so cautious about Steve joining it, he'd have to give up being an Avenger and step away from SHIELD. And as well as not knowing if SHIELD was prepared to sacrifice the money and connections Stark was supplying, they also used his previous errors as evidence against him.

And the group was split because Yen and Coulson were all for giving Stark at least a chance, they apparently felt despite Tony not having the best reasons behind him, they knew he'd be determined enough to get the job done.

But none of that seemed to matter now, with Steve getting involved it wouldn't have mattered if the entire council was for Stark joining; Rogers' had been offered first, therefore he still had the slight advantage to change the tides.  
At the moment Steve hated himself, for everything this situation was going to entail; the problems with Natasha, possibly damaging the team and causing a unavoidable drift between him and one of his best friends.

But Rogers couldn't step aside, no matter if he could trust Tony with his life, he sadly couldn't trust the peoples' lives in Iron Man's hands - not because he hadn't proved himself and...it wasn't like the people hadn't already been saved by Stark, countless times, therefore having to put their lives in his hands. However this was a completely different ball game, it wasn't some battle that could be won or lost, it was a position of such power that no matter what you did, people would be affected by it - but, mostly because, it wasn't Steve's, Fury's or Coulson's or Stark's or even the remaining security council's call to make.

It was the peoples' choice.

Which was exactly why Steve had been cautious about the original offer and now that Stark was running in, all guns blazing, Cap was even more so.

All Rogers was hoping to gain from the meeting with the council was an understanding, Steve didn't want the position, he never wanted the position, he just needs Stark to fight to prove that he isn't just doing this for himself and for the people to decide; if they did and everybody voted for Tony then Steve would be fine with it, but until then he couldn't just sit back and watch.

And at the moment the only way he saw that happening was if he stepped in.

Droplets of questioning steps reached Steve's ears and he stood to attention, turning to see Natasha counting the measures of her decision. "I'm not asking for you to explain yourself, I'm not interested in whatever reasons you hold for breaking your promise. I just want you to reconsider missing this appointment; if you don't come...I know where your priorities lie."

Her eyes looked into his soul, her hands swooping in; picking away the pieces until she found what she wanted. Steve eyed the clock, he knew where his priorities lay; he also knew she knew where they were too.  
As important as this meeting mattered, the scale was sealed down with the weight of what he'd be losing if he didn't support his wife. It may be the selfish part of his decision which he was struggling with, but reminding himself that he was doing this for his and Nat's future - knowing that would last a lot longer than his possible career choice - helped clear his conscience.

Quickly the couple embraced, Romanoff's comfort slightly more fleeting than usual as they readied themselves for the hospital.

* * *

Stark sat outside the same mellow suite he'd barraged in on yesterday, Tony was thrilled that he'd been invited back so quickly after his convincing performance. Being shut outside for over 2 hours, however was not thrilling.  
Must be a pressing topic, Stark couldn't decide if it were a good or bad thing that the decision was taking so long.

Suddenly the door opened and Fury poked his head out, mindlessly. His eye scanned the solitude hallway. "Expecting someone else?" Tony retorted ignorance and annoyance overpowering his natural length of patience; not that it was overly long on a regular bases.

Rogers ran slamming the door behind him;  
As if an tsunami was shoving him into the room.

Stark stared, confusion plummeting his mood further as the pieces he wanted to ignore began to fit together. "Uh...Hey cap, you lost?" Steve avoided his friend's eye as Fury waved them both in, Tony frowning at Cap's unexplained presence.

When the men entered the room they took in their surroundings, the 3 faces of disapproval and Coulson's welcoming smile.

Hawley spoke first in her regularly friendly tone, or not "Thanks for deciding to join us Captain Rogers, for the meeting _you_ called for." Stark chuckled and turned to his friend "What? Why...why are you here Rogers?" His tone conveying an edge Steve hadn't faced before.

But Steve didn't get to answer as Fury stepped forwards, Rogers' wasn't sure if he was trying to protect Cap or feed him to the dogs. "Cap here, has accepted the position on the Security Council."

Rogers' didn't know what reaction he expected; to be punched, tackled? But Stark swerved, biting his lower lip and then turned to face Cap.  
A fire burning in his eyes "Seriously? Rogers' get your priorities in order, because I..." he growled and Steve immediately attempted to tame the beast "Stark, I'm sorry but you need..."

"No! I don't need to do anything! You need to take a good hard look in the mirror, because your true colours are showing my friend." Steve glowered, stepping closer to an unavoidable argument. "What's that supposed to me?"

Stark's hand swiped out hitting the wall, a slight grimace appearing on his face "I mean you're just like everybody else, a selfish child who will turn any toy away...until that toy is offered to somebody else and then you've got to have it back."

Steve inhaled a calming breath "Stark let me expl..."

"Oh no! I think I'll keep going."  
Nick should his head in disgust "Mr Stark, please calm down and allow the Council to..."

Stark snapped spinning to Steve "Didn't your parents ever teach you to share? Oh that's right, they were too busy starv..."  
Cap cut him off, anger rising like the sun "Coming from the spoilt brat himself? Listen Stark, I didn't do this to hurt you."

"Oh really! Well do enlighten us, to the glorious story."

"Yes, please do." Singh's voice; an abysmal of boredom.

Steve sighed, turning full face to the council "I accepted your offer, after Stark approached you"

"Ah ha! So you admit it!" Stark's face was repelled at the notion that his best friend could do such a thing.

Steve snarled, continuing the logic nobody seemed to allow him to elaborate on "Because, I feel the people should have a say in who makes the decisions considered too taxing for them." He knew this debate would end with one friend burned whilst the other burdened.

"Slightly hypocritical. When you were offered the position you didn't declare that the people select the council member, however when somebody else is you have to cause a fuss! Sounds a bit like jealousy to me." Stark was moving forwards with all sorts of emphasised hand gestures and presentation motions, whilst Steve just clenched his fists.

"I'd disagree, I didn't ask for the people to prove to me that they'd trust me to do this, because I declined. I didn't want to do this."

Stark's tone was hotter than fire "Then why the fuck do you want it now, Rogers?"

But Steve's was harder than ice, "Because...I couldn't even trust myself with this amount of power or control and if I can't trust myself to do this job, how the hell am I meant to trust anybody else with it? Least of all somebody who has had more than a hand in this world's destruction!" He added the latter line as an afterthought, no point holding back now.

Tony rose to the debate, the protests between the councillors ceased into compliance as Stark spat "It's not your call Rogers! It's not your place to feel untrusting for the world Security Council, it's not your job to judge and criticise their decisions. It's not YOUR place to have trust in the person who stepped up when YOU WOULDN'T!"  
Stark was pacing from one wall to the other, an army of frustration setting his teeth on edge and his hair standing abrupt. He charged once more "What has given you the right to decline such a position and then judge the person who's brave enough to take it?"

Steve stared at the silent faces before him, this was it; this would either push the council to give him the position he didn't want or give it to somebody who wanted it so the raging guilt inside his chest would stop eating him alive. Rogers' was not going down without a fight!

"Being Captain America makes it my place...being an Avenger, a co-deputy to SHIELD makes it my job to watch out for the people's interests! That's the whole reason why I fight, what I thought was the reason _we_ fight." Steve turned his back on the council and faced Stark alone, cornering him, finally getting the boiling frustration that Cap hadn't known had been waiting to blow since Ultron.

"You may have the peoples' interests at heart, but deep down everybody in this room knows," Steve pointed to the Council "They're giving you a chance because Tony Stark threw a tantrum when he wasn't trusted enough to be approached first."

For a brief moment Rogers almost ducked a punch he thought was coming his way as Stark twisted, circling around; his fist raised. But his words were enough of a jab that physical violence wasn't required "Rogers...what are you actually doing here? I thought you were moving on with Romanoff...or have you broken another bond?" His tone demonstrated the act of betrayal he felt from Steve.

Steve gulped his anger ascending until _her_ face flashed across his vision, the fire that once burned Cap forwards was drowned in desire for Natasha; in his love and hope of a future with her.

He was a ghost in the darkness, as soon as you turned on that light; he was gone.

Rogers' hand went to the crook of his neck "I don't know" It was barely a whisper, as all hope drained from his system and once it was down the drain; there was no getting that exact bucket of hope back.  
Timidly Cap walked to the door, turning back to the council and spoke with the last grain of confidence in his body "I'm not stopping, not until I can trust you to do the right thing, and let the people decide." The door signified Steve's shadow of a presence.

Yen called out, somewhat optimistic after that growling conflict "Well...that was dramatic, can we all agree it was a waste of our time?" Tony started incredulously at the old man, his protection of Steve still shining through the scar of betrayal his friend had just inflicted.

Hawley grumbled "If anything, I'd say it was an eye opener; I suggest we follow in Captain Rogers' wise words." Singh almost laughed at the recommendation "You can't be serious, after that fiasco?"  
The lady's temper was worn and wrinkled "Well what do you propose?"

Yen pronounced his pleasure to Stark "I say we let Mr Stark have a shot."

Singh also laughed at that "Have a shot? This isn't some fair game, where you'll either win a stuffed toy or lose $2!" Coulson eyed them displeased "Well what do you think Singh?"  
The man looked over the peering orbs "Well Rogers didn't want the position until Stark got involved, and from the sounds of things he still doesn't want it."

Hawley's face fell "He said..."

"He said that he wants the people to decide! He just accepted the offer so he could stop Stark..."

"Agreed!" Yen yelled, to which Singh continued "However, Stark's not exactly giving a show stopper performance. I don't trust him; he's just acting of his own guilt." _It was like Tony wasn't even there._

Yen continued "Well that's not exactly a bad thing, at least he's not offering for his own selfish needs like Rogers', if he can't have the position no one can."

"That's utter nonsense and you know it, Rogers' wants the best for the people, he wants them to decide." Hawley countered

Fury was losing his rag "Rogers' wants the people to decide if they trust Stark or not, if they do he'll leave it be, if they don't and the people elect him...well that's another matter entirely. But at the moment, Cap's caught between doing what's right and what he wants."

Singh motioned to Fury "See, the Captain doesn't even _want_ to be part of the council. And to what you were saying Yen, before we were interrupted" Hawley shook her head at the ridiculous men before her "Guilt may be a better reason than jealousy, however how long that will last...we can't be sure. And what if Rogers' is right and the public reject Stark, you know what trouble that will cause!"

Yen stood from his chair "And what if we don't give it to Stark, will he stop funding SHIELD, will he step aside and let all the hard work going into this security fall?" Tony had heard enough.

He charged to the door, yelling "You twats have fun finishing your petty squabbles, like the old man said 'I'm not stopping' you can think what you like, but I want to do this!" And with his finger on show he left the building.


	3. Unnerving

**Okay, this story is getting tricky. I have so many ideas I wanna put in but stuff I have to put in, I've done my best to try and make both arguments equal-ish...and I know parts are as dry as the desert but give it time to get all sides drawn before we get down to business!  
Remember this is the past, as in this happened a month ago before the hospital incident...so if you're curious about that, just keep reading this and it will pick up soon (I hope) Xx **

Stark arrived at the Avengers' tower several minutes later, it seems Rogers' must have walked because Tony was literally just entering behind him. Tony was fighting between tackling the Captain or biting his head off, the brief feeling of defence for Cap now a forgotten shadow.  
Stark shouted, whilst entering the lounge "Alright the Council ain't here, so tell me why you actually want the position?" soon discovering it was full of the other Avengers who eyed them vaguely.

Steve was reluctant to face Tony, especially with his surrounding teammates, but the undertone of loath peeling off Stark's attack set his teeth on edge. "I told you, I don't want the job."

Tony slouched over to the kitchen, possessing a bottle of vodka on his return "Right...yeah, soz if I'm having a hard time believing you." Pepper rose to her feet, gracefully snatching the liquor away.

Rhodey stood to attention, his loyalty to Tony shining like the sun "What's going on?" Steve lowered his chin in shame, Natasha rubbing her temples as if she were experiencing pain, whilst Stark paraded proudly around his tower "Our good friend the Captain over here, has accepted the position on the Security Council."

"What!" Pepper's voice was anything but accusing, just slightly astounded, not believing Steve Rogers could do something so disloyal. Barton, who had returned later this evening with the family, ushered the kids to follow Jane and Laura, departing the room as a storm was spotted along the horizon.

Steve didn't even attempt to defend himself, as snarky it was; he knew it was the right thing.  
In Potts' shock Tony managed to retrieve the soon to-be empty bottle of alcohol. "You-bet-ach! That was the reason I was called back, to be told; one of my supposedly best friends, who had refused the job was now taking it, because I wanted it."

Steve spoke quietly, barely breaking the boundary of silent stares "That's not why I was there." Rhodey was now becoming protective "Then why were you?" Steve slumped against the couch "Because...it's a decision which affects the people, so I feel the people should decide."

Pepper was still "I don't understand, if you just wanted to say that, why is Tony saying you've accepted the position?"

Natasha's cheeks were stained with a deep blush of irritation as her fingers nestled together "Because the Council is stupidly stubborn and the only way they would have even listened to Rogers was if he told them he'd take the position." Despite the certainty of her words her voice explained vividly how much she doubted her husband.

Stark turned to Nat "Did you know he was doing this? Did ya give your consent, because last time I checked you were screaming Fury to silence when he tried to persuade you to push the Captain for it!"  
Natasha eyed Iron Man expertly, "Stark, it wouldn't matter what I thought. When Steve Rogers puts his mind to something, it gets done." The sadness leaking from her face was hard to hear without wincing.

Wanda moved closer to Natasha, rubbing her back to try and relive tension "I don't understand. If Steve has now told the Council surely, they'll take his request on board and the people will decide, then he can step away." Nat's head snapped in a harsh second as a dark, rich chuckle screamed from her throat and Stark countered "Oh...but what happens if the people select Rogers himself?"

Everybody eyed Steve, the super soldier shrugged in defeat "I don't know." Romanoff stood, fleeing to the comfort of privacy, Steve quickly followed ignoring Tony's teasing yells "Oh come on Stevie! Let's continue this fight as men!"

Barton growled "Stark, leave them be!" the twinge of annoyance sent Stark into a sea of questions "Oh, are you on _their_ side now?" Wilson spoke from his seat "Tony there aren't any sides."  
"Not yet, fellow flier! But there will be."

Thor had listened to enough "Well, why don't you tell us what happened so we can pick fairly!" He was of course joking, but Tony didn't seem to take it that way. "Stark, tell us everything that was said at that meeting, everything." As if muttering to himself the god spoke "We may not have that much of a say in who's right and wrong."

* * *

Rogers grabbed the door about to slam in his face as he walked after his wife, "Nat" he called calmly, she didn't face him but stopped where she was walking.

"Did you get everything you wanted?" Her tone robotic.

"What do you mean?" Romanoff finally faced him, "Did your precious meeting with the Council receive the result you were hoping for?" Cap's hands fell on his hips as his head lowered "Not exactly."

She spat a wicked chuckle and proceeded to the couch, he persisted following her, she sank into the unsupportive structure, allowing to drown in her own sorrows "I can't do this."

Steve's breath came up short and puffy "Do what?"

"Stark's right! Ok, you got what you wanted, you informed the Council and they'll probably listen to you if they have half a brain. But what happens if the people do reject Stark, but chose you?" His eyes hovered over her twitching fingers "I can't...I won't start a family when I'm having to fight for my husband's attention."

Steve gaped, the meaning of her words pulling him down like an unmoveable weight. "You won't...I wouldn't..."

Her index finger played with the wedding ring adoring her hand, she then ceased the twitching by holding onto his hand; her palm cold against his. "I know you wouldn't mean to, I believe you when you say you don't want to do this. But it's not your choice, giving the people the power; no matter if it works with you, could easily go against you.

"Think about it; how would it look, if you give the people the power and they don't elect Tony, but you then defeat the purpose of that power by denying them to elect you?"

Steve pulled her closer, his lips spinning her hair away from her ear "They...how can you be so certain they'd pick me?" The couple's voices were retreating into private whispers, a sad smile settled on her usually pristine features "Because it's you, and you're giving them the power, therefore they'd trust you with that power. And...and I can't think of a single person who wouldn't want you as their protector."

Natasha's fingers rested on his chest, her eyes allowing a rogue tear to break, his mark appearing embedded in her skin, no matter how much Rogers' tried to wipe it away, the stain stayed.  
Their breaths were now desperate gasps as their lips neared, they hadn't touched since Barton's most recent departure the other day and Tasha wasn't alone in discovering the addiction she held to her other half, he was a drug to her; Steve had the power to cause her a painful pleasure. His hold on her could easily be used against her, Rogers' instantly recognised the power he held over her; as she did over him.

After the brief flash of excruciating separation their lips linked, the kiss was as gentle as a feather landing on the ground, Natasha's fingers clutching at the fabric of his shirt, Rogers' hand hot and heated against her back; holding her in place.  
In that moment Natasha could of seen pigs fly and not been surprised, her stomach tied itself in knots; their touch interlacing like fingers.

The kiss was magnified beyond anything the spy had felt; this act of intimacy represented how distanced the couple could be, how angry they could feel towards the other, but they'd always come back to the other, kicking and screaming, but clawing for the breath taking touch; the kiss.

A tap against the door ended their excessive urgency and all too quickly Natasha had moved away, almost looking disappointed at allowing their embrace to happen; but Steve couldn't be certain if it were that or simply because they had to stop.

Tasha took a couple seconds to collect herself and then called, her voice immaculate to a fault. "Come in." Cap hurriedly fought of the pain in his eyes and faced their intruder, the emptiness he'd felt at Nat's frigid movement, was soon filled with a soft flutter of astonishment as his mind tried to fight the sight against the person in front of him; it couldn't be.

"Bucky!" Steve called, seeing the amicable face of a nervous but sure friend. James walked in and the pair embraced in a familiar hug before Natasha, shifting the tides from hostile to stiffly polite. James and Nat exchanged a fleeing hug before Barnes eyed her playfully "By any chance, are you...?"

Nat's face wasn't what gave it away but her voice "Not yet no. Excuse me" as soon as the words had been uttered from her mouth she left, closing the door behind her.

Barnes cocked an eyebrow "What did I say?" Steve shook his head, sitting his best friend down, this was going to be a long story.

* * *

Despite all members of the team wanting to remain as neutral as possible, they couldn't help siding with one more than the other and it wasn't necessarily because either were in the wrong, but more because they held more faith in Stark or at least wanted to, but couldn't place a future council with Stark helping to run it.  
Although the Avengers knew they shouldn't get involve when it was spoken about, they were quite forward with whom their support lay.

However, three people were trying to stay as far away from choosing a side as humanly possible; Thor, because he felt despite his often occurrence on Midgard and his unbreakable bond with Foster, this was by fair no discussion that he should be getting wand up in, at least not yet.  
Natasha for obvious reasons, one being she felt neither were a foreseeable fix for the position, also her sympathy for Stark overshadowed her toleration that Steve could be taken away from her, so if it really came down to it Romanoff would vouch for Stark to gain the position, though she knew she wanted that for the wrong reasons.  
And the final neutral passer was Pepper Potts, who agreed with Nat that neither were right for the job and also she didn't want Tony to be brought further and deeper into SHIELD's midst. Especially now, when there wedding was only 2 months away.

Romanoff was, in Barton's room with Laura, Nate and Lila - Barton had taken Cooper to play with Thor - and Wanda, pacing unnervingly quickly. The girls - and Nathanial's - heads snapping from left to right like puppets until Maximoff grabbed Romanoff and made her still. "Ok, Natasha we understand you feel bad, but you need to relax." The young girl spoke.

Laura smiled up and said "She's right." and Lila surprised everyone by mouthing from outside her colouring book for once "It's bad for the baby." The two women feared Tasha's reaction, but Nat smiled, returning to her favourite niece and taking a look at what she was drawing. Romanoff swallowed a shaky exhale at seeing a picture of Natasha and Steve, in front of a big house with a tiny, redheaded baby in their arms.

"Aw that's beautiful Lila!" Tasha called, wrapping the young Barton into a hug after being given the picture. Natasha turned to see two pairs of pitying eyes and a sympathetic Pepper in the doorway.

Potts stammered as if to apologise but Romanoff grabbed her into a hug and yelled "Our boys are idiots!" Pepper was so relived there was no tension between the two, she wasn't sure how either would survive with this much testosterone and not have the other to lean on.

FRIDAY's whiskey tone entered the room, summoning all women immediately "Mrs Rogers and Ms Potts, I was wondering if you'd be interested to know there is a fight breaking in the lounge..." Immediately Wanda, Nat and Pepper ran, leaving Laura to keep the kids here. The elevator was taking too long so Romanoff ran for the stairs, when she broke out into the lounge chaos blinded her.

Bucky was preparing to punch Stark, who was now in full Iron man suit, with the mixture of men in between. Steve was yelling at James to calm down, whilst Tony was being...Tony and yelling tormenting teases which - if he weren't in armour - would have earned him a black eye.

Natasha ran forwards, but Thor grabbed her "This is no place for a..." Nat barked "Say it and I'll give them something to see!" The God - who Tash would apologize to later, he really meant nothing by it - released her and Widow ran grabbing a charging Bucky.

Suddenly a blue blur, caught Nat off guard as Pietro attempted to also stop the Winter Soldier, however somehow James managed to land a blow to Maximoff's face who flashed his impatient flicker by hitting back.

Wanda screamed from the opening elevator, several force-fields holding: Pietro, Stark, Rhodey, Bucky and Steve in place. Natasha instantly detangled herself from Barnes' shoulders and retreated to the narrowing women.  
Natasha immediately spied Cooper, hiding behind Clint's back and Widow ran to him, taking his hand. Self-criticism circling like a tornado in the Avengers' eyes as Romanoff handed a shaken Cooper off with a scowling Thor.

Once the elevator doors were shut and on their decent the Widow was out, fire radiated of her skin as she eyed the still frozen Avengers, "What the fuck happened?" When nobody responded Natasha snapped "Wanda!"  
The main sources of trouble erupted into an elaboration talking over the other, then Wanda tightened her hold until only Steve spoke. "I came to get me and Buck a drink when Rhodey and Tony were in here and..."

A finger then hovered over Rogers' mouth and he was silenced, Tony then began yelling "So I asked what _he_ was doing here." Pepper scowled as she yelled at Stark "You know Barnes comes to..."

A smirk twitched on Tony's face "I wasn't talking about Barnes." Instantly, James flinched in his bubble, clearly putting up a strong fight against Wanda, but not succeeding.

Natasha roared at them "What is wrong with you? Seriously...Cooper was here and you decided to start a fight!" Barton tried to assure Nat "Tash...he's fine, really." She glared "Shhh Mr! I'll let Laura be the judge of that...but you lot..." Words could not explain her dumbfounded frustration, she could not comprehend how furiously stupid they were.

Slowly Wanda released Rhodey and Pietro - who after buzzing around for a second returned to normal speed, before stalking off again - Then Witch exaggerated her motions to release James who slouched immediately, Nat sullenly walked to him and whispered that he should leave and come back tomorrow. He gave her an apologetic hug before saluting to Rogers and glaring at a frozen Tony.

Thor then returned and Potts asked Maximoff "Wanda, how long can you keep up these force-fields?" Scarlet Witch smiled cheekily, before sitting down on the couch next to Vision.  
Romanoff grabbed a beer for herself and Pepper and also joined the others, soon Banner, Thor and Wilson followed suit and Clint dashed to check on Cooper.

Iron Man and Captain America were stationed in the frozen mould for over 2 hours and it got to the point where the Avengers were eating dinner and had forgotten about them until Lila handed Natasha back her picture and Tash looked up at Steve, his eyes glued to the artwork.

After that Wanda let them go and the two men were once again joining the table, silent and avoiding eye contact, but subtle.  
Soon after an unwelcomed visitor showed up, Nick Fury strolled into the dining room, his eyes settling on Stark and then Rogers', but instead of them standing Pepper and Natasha excused themselves.

"Nick, you've got to do something. They're gonna tear the team apart!" Romanoff willed Fury to give them positive news but he shrugged "Natasha, I can't make the Council change their minds."  
Pepper crossed her arms, the strain of this battle happening in her own home smeared across her tired eyes "Well what did they decide? At least then they can stop hating each other." Nat eyed expectantly, they both knew if one got it the other would be furious whilst the other parading around in his comfortable skin of success and mockery.

"That's the problem, the Council is split! Hawley is pushing for them to follow Rogers' words, Yen however wants to give Stark a chance." Nat shook violently as her hands clasped the air before her "What about Singh?" Fury shook his head; he doesn't like either of them. "He's mad at Rogers but doesn't trust Stark." Pepper was curling in on herself "Well what do we do? What are the Council going to do?"

"They're calling for an election." Natasha and Pepper immediately fell into their hands, gasping. Nat was thinking on her feet "Wait! How long do we have?" Fury bit his lip "We're running low here, not long until Hydra's next attack, we've been tipped off. The Council want this soon, two days at most." Natasha gulped; she could work with this.

"Okay...thanks Nick." He nodded at both women before leaving, Romanoff grabbed after him "Nick...I'm sorry about the other day..." He squeezed her hand on his arm before leaving again.

Potts was pacing outside the dining room and whispered urgently "What do we do?"  
"Do what we're best at, you take care of Tony and I'll handle Steve. If we can get them to both turn it down...then they may not even need an election." Pepper nodded, "What do we do best again?"

Natasha nibbled at her lip violently, "Umm...you bossing Tony around and me seducing!" Potts jarred out an agreement and both women walked back into the dining room, oblivious to the perplexed looks they received. Steve's hand reached out over Nat's and she hated the sinking feeling of wanting to pull it away; she didn't. "Everything...alright?" Natasha and Pepper looked up at each other and instantly the curtains were closed.

Potts responded in her regularly cheery exterior "Yes, we were just discussing last minute wedding arrangements." Tony choked on his drink, causing an uproar of laughter to be heard "With...with Fury?" Natasha giggled "You'd be surprised what Peps has been cooking up, Stark. It's gonna be quite a bash!" Tony took her hand, kissing it romantically, the gesture was brought back down to Stark's level when he questioned "Promise me, Nick Fury isn't going to be marrying us?"

* * *

"Today...was quite a day, huh?" Steve questioned, eyeing Romanoff reading in bed, he leaned against the door frame, fighting the urge to come and join his wife. Her voice was barely audible as she hummed in agreement.

"You ok?" He questioned, stepping into the room, Nat's book came down and she stared at him "No, Fury..."

"Fury?" Steve was interested straight away, his hands moving onto her legs. Nat shook the feeling away "Never mind."

"Rogers!" Steve growled to which Natasha chuckled, "You see and I bet Wilson it'd be months before you started growling at yourself!" Steve smirked but it was too light-hearted to last longer than a second.  
"He told me and Pepper, that um...the Council is split. They're holding an election, like you requested Steve!" Her voice turned rain clouds into vanishing puffs of white, revealing the sun; the brightness of her smile.

"Mmm" Steve muttered and Nat faltered slightly, but returned to the summer horizon. "Steve...they listened to you, you can back out. The people are choosing, you've done your part." Cap nodded half-heartedly as Nat moved into his arms, pulling him into bed.

She began kissing him, but he stopped her, fighting "No...Nat, Nat stop!" She pouted, hurt but hesitated.

"What?"

"I...what you were saying earlier, about what if they pick me? Well you're right, I can't give and then take it away...I'd...I'd have to"

She stammered "No...no, Steve, they're holding an election, but in 2 days. You can still step away, if you make it clear that you're not interested then..." He listened her with a look and Romanoff felt her insides twist as he reached into her, his fingers clasping around her heart, preparing to squeeze until she crumbled into nothingness.

"What if...you see if I pull out now, there'd be no point in the election at all. So Stark would get it anyway..." Tasha's head shook; begging.

"Steve...don't."

"Besides...what if I were interested?" She snapped away from his touch like an elastic band.

"Are you?"

"I don't know"

"How long have you not known?"

"Not very long...when Lila showed you that picture..."

"Yes, the picture of you and me and the baby we're never going to have!" Venom dripped off her tongue and sprinkled against his eyes.

"I don't see why we can't? Why can't I do this and have the baby? At least then I'll be able to provide..."

"You're Captain America for God's sake! If you didn't already have enough cash to provide I fear for economic decrease!"

"Nat, I want to be able to have this baby without guilt! I want...to be able to have done as much as I possibly can and then I won't have the desire to return when we're raising the baby!"

"So...this is just a fear? You're not actually considering...?"

"I don't know, I don't know Okay!"

"That's all you know! Lately your response to everything has been 'I don't know!'"

"Well is that a bad thing? So what if I'm questioning my life decisions." That was the wrong thing to say.

"So what? So fucking what! I'm a life decision Steve, the Avengers, SHIELD, our future...is a life decision. And if you're getting twitchy about Stark getting a position on the Council then God forbid if I actually get pregnant!"

"That's not what I meant Nat! I'm not questioning us, I'd never question us." His voice broke "You're all I have that I'm certain of." Romanoff felt bad doing so, but she took advantage of his weakness, she went to him and kissed him, drawing him to her like a moth to a flame, two magnets flying for the other. Steve stood up, his lips locked with hers and they hit the wall charging forwards, her legs wrapped around him.  
In between desperate kisses she was smothering him with questions, until she took it too far and he dropped her, she landed on her feet and stared at him.

"I know what you're doing Romanoff!"

Guilt set in her stomach "Oh yeah what's that?"

"You're trying to seduce me to get what you want!"

She was tempted to fight it but refused "Maybe I was, but I'm doing it for us!"

"Really because it sounds like you're doing it for yourself." He spat, the realisation of his words floating to the surface as he drowned in stupidity.

But Romanoff wasn't the cleanest, she was too busy watching his movements she missed a step and joined him the drowning dreams "Exactly your logic for going against Stark!"

They stared at each, furious. Without missing a beat Natasha fled the scene, running off instead of facing her issues; the classic spy. In his frustration Cap punched the wall, repeatedly until their was a fist size hole.


	4. Everything and Nothing

Steve had given Tasha the space he felt he needed, and then some, considering that she might need more.

Even though she'd hurt him, and quite a bit, Rogers' felt he'd been too irrational, too self-centred. In his hurry to do the right thing he'd ended up neglecting the one person he loved more than...more than anything he'd ever loved before, nothing could describe let alone compare to how he felt about Nat.

And here they were, ripping each other's' hearts out.

Gingerly Rogers' went on a search for her the next day, the first place he checked was Barton's room and that concluded his search. When he got to Clint's door he was surprised to find Hawkeye the only residence at that moment, yet Laura and the kids had packed enough for over a month?

Steve ran to the roof, terror filling his veins as his apology, his demeanour...it all shattered.

When Steve reached the roof he wasn't surprised to see the jet gone, Natasha had left with the Barton's family.

Leaving him behind; Rogers' landed on the ground, his furrowed brow setting up camp for the time being. _How could he let this happen?_

Of course Steve understood where Romanoff was coming from, why she'd wanted to persuade him to change his mind. Steve knew he was hurting her and now he'd lost her.

Rogers returned inside, his shoulders slouching with the straining separation, their connection stretching at the distance; he wasn't sure how long the elasticity would last before it snapped.

Barton looked at him with sad eyes and Cap was almost tempted to ask him the exact whereabouts of his farm house - despite the many visits none of the Avengers knew the exact location of the farm and none of them intended to find out, Barton had kept it as a secret for a reason and the team believed he was still entitled to as much privacy as he wished - but Rogers' knew instantly that if Tasha had left, she'd needed to and she would return when she was ready. Chasing her would only further the depth of the dagger he'd already plunged into her chest.

The pair settled in the novelty of separation on the couch with a beer in each hand, as Steve wished for the millionth time that he could get drunk. The last thing either friend desired was an appearance of Stark, least of all a stroppy one; but to no avail; neither wishes were completed.

Tony stampeded into the lounge, blabbering to himself and neglecting their presence until the very last second when he opened the fridge "Taking my beverages as well Rogers? My oh my, we are selfish."  
A fumbling finger found Rogers' mouth and muted any retorts, but azure eyes still repeated the words to which a forever-watchful Hawk muffled a smirk; understanding Steve better than anticipated.

Surprisingly, Tony sat opposite both heroes, his eyes feeding on Cap's too visible emotion. "Anyway, I shant complain. Now we've come to our senses." Cap's capacity complained in confusion "What do you mean?" Barton braced himself for an interjection.

"You, giving up for the election. I'll tell ya what, if you hadn't, Peps would have had a much harder time convincing me of the same." Steve bit his lip until submission vanished.  
"Stark, I don't know what Pepper told you...but I haven't given up anything." His adam's apple bobbed as a hypnotic expression darkened his features "I may have lost something, but...no not given anything up."

Flashing hints of bitter resent crossed wires in Stark's enraged hues. "Let me guess, Romanoff tried to crack your hard resolve?" As a second thought Stark smirked "Not a euphemism by the way"

Steve's lack of response answered well enough.

Barton coughed "So...Tony did you pull out?" Gingerly he inspected Steve's hazy spirit, fading with Romanoff's recent departure. "I'm in it for the long hall, gone so far, can't back out now."

* * *

Contrasting with her current mood, Natasha spent the entire afternoon and narrowing evening entertaining the kids. Her diverse personality folding for the audience at hand; tiding all materials into a draw at the back of her mind and allowing herself to thrive in the rare accuracy of family time.

Though Natasha knew as soon as the lights were off the draw would open and a tidal wave of elements would mix with the perfect douse of ingredients for guilt and heartbreak.  
 _She shouldn't have left,_ but it had happened so hastily and once she was on the jet she couldn't face turning back. By that time Rogers' would already know she had left and Tasha couldn't face a dirty ego even with her eyes closed.

Romanoff wouldn't be able to look at that broken face without flinching at her own heartless motives and actions, _How dare she try to force her husband to change his mind!_

Steve acted the exact way Nat would have, if the positions had been switched; of course he'd never try and force her out of a decision and Romanoff wasn't selfless enough to stand up for others like he had.

And frankly Natasha knew what she was getting into when she began dating Steve, so her anger towards him was mostly back fire from her own frustrations at not apprehending this.  
After all, she knew he was trying to be there for everybody, when really Nat was just being selfish and wanting him to herself. _Surely she's allowed that privilege with her own husband, though?_

Laura noticed Romanoff's sudden silence during dinner and cornered the spy once the kids were sleeping. "Alright, sit down; tell me what's going on." Nat obliged immediately, "You know the majority, I just feel...guilty and yet so angry."

Laura sniggered "Welcome to the world of marriage!"

After a half-hearted chuckle which resulted in Natasha pausing in pain, Laura took her hand and said "Look, I could never compare my own marriage with yours and I won't pretend to know what I'm talking about but...Steve is so many things, so many things that the people don't see and will never see. But, to them he's Captain America first and foremost and with that comes the responsibility to his people" Nat crumpled under the voice or reason "However he's also your husband and that means he has a loyalty to you like no other, Tasha I know it's hard to watch and even harder to put up with...but Steve's struggling to find the balance between the two, after he does it will become a lot easier. You just have to be patient."

Romanoff wasn't surprised to find Laura wiping a tear away from the spy's eye. "God, Clint really hit the jackpot when he found you ha? Why don't we just ditch the middle man and marry each other!" both females erupted in laughter, Laura's eyes looked at the ceiling signally movement from above "If only things were that simple, now before you're dashing off again, why don't we make the most of your visit and open a bottle?"

Romanoff smiled, the real thing shifting the ghost of a smirk back into darkness, "Mum!" A call skipped to the caring ladies and Nat stood, dusting off her moment's weakness "I'll get it."

* * *

"Are you alright?" Wanda slowly approached her brother, ever since his fight with Barnes Pietro had become distant, avoiding the majority of the Avengers as the best of times and since Romanoff's quick departure the darkness in his eyes had consumed the once fiery feeling into a numbing ache.

The pair sat on the roof of the tower, staring at the light city surrounding them. "I'm fine, why do you ask?" The twins' fingers interlaced their loyalty and bond sparking from the falling sun's last few beams.  
"You've been distant, eating less. It is about the Council, is it not?" A silent plea at a change of topic vibrated from his shivering shoulders at the rapid breeze chilling their distinctive stances.

"I feel bad," he spoke, accepting that his sister won't grant his wish. "Because of everything Tony has done to us, all the pain we had to endure. And still, after everything Steve has done to make us feel welcome..."

Wanda licked her drying lips, understanding her brother with or without her powers "You are siding with Stark." Pietro nodded, his head sinking into his neck. Wanda wrapped her slender arm around his shoulders "You're allowed to believe in Tony, he didn't mean for his weapons to..." She moved over the rising hurdle "He has done more than redeem himself, for that and for Ultron. You shouldn't feel guilty for wanting him to get the job more than Cap."

Icy fingers poked and prodded the pair as another wind escaped their sighing mouths, slowly Quicksilver stood; overing his arm to Wanda who took it eagerly. "And know this brother, I may disagree with you and side with Steve, but neither Cap nor I judge you for your decision. If anything Steve will be proud that you're feeling comfortable enough to voice your opinions."

Scarlet Witch took one final look at the setting sun, breathing in the refreshing breeze "You have seen inside their heads, tell me: this will tear the team apart?" Her complexion was smashed with a hammering vision of screams of betrayal "Yes," her head stayed down, her brother's arms lifting her in his hold as she went limp "And both are too stubborn to not go all the way."

Steadily Quicksilver strolled back into the comfortably warm arms of the tower, Wanda clinging in his arms "Who will win?" In a whisper blowing across the city, joining the autumn leaves scattering across the world Wanda spoke "I haven't seen the winner, only the losers..." her statement made it out to be so much more intricately delicate than it seemed "But I know one thing; it's too close a call, for either to feel happy with the result."

The spotlight ran down after the twins' retreat from the stage, the curtain slamming shut behind the escalating darkness of a night's sky.

* * *

"Cap, the cars waiting downstairs." Potts' stuck her head around the door frame, a line drawing together between her slight brows.  
Steve Rogers, had defeated the notorious Red Skull and helped save the gruesome war or 1941, however Captain America still struggled to tie a tie, the jittering butterflies in his stomach didn't help, neither did the persistent acceleration of his heart, sending an ocean of currents, tsunamis and tides squeezing through every vein in his jittery body.

Pepper performed the traditional sigh Steve usually associated with Tony, the slender woman stepped into the room, discarding her papers on the bed and turning to a blushing Steve, "I can usually do it..." His defence was weakened by the knowing eyes of a woman, who'd heard it all before, twice.  
"Mhmmm" her tone humming in false agreement "Some things, just need a woman's touch!" A sturdy tug concluded the smooth conduction of the trickery of a black tie, hanging smartly under Rogers' collar.

Steve went on to fill the beating silence "Nat would usually..." Pepper's orbs tinted with sadness before, like the champion she is, detaching the dampening affection from her gentle features and assuring Steve "She's only been gone 2 days, Cap"

He attempted a critical step forward from his depressed state, into the new territory of bitter humour "Is that all? Feels like she's been gone longer...too long" Potts took pity on his downwards quirking smile and tapped his arm, handing him the black blazer from the bed "Tell her that when she gets back, it will make her feel needed. Now come, can't postpone this election any later than I've tried."

Rogers endearing gratitude was shushed and silenced by sturdy fingers of building jitters, he followed the leading Pepper down the elevator to the waiting black car, his numerous friends; Barton, Wanda, Wilson, Thor and Barnes sending encouraging smiles as they followed suit, dressed to impress, climbing into their own waiting cars.  
Stark and his bundle of supporters; Pietro, Vision, Rhodey and Banner already left. Though Steve felt regret at having involved his surrounding teammates, he blamed none of them for siding with Tony and despite nobody having officially announced it; a secret preference had been conducted.

The Avengers, minus Romanoff, were on their way to the election, where Stark would give a speech and then a vote would be held. Steve wasn't speaking because as far as everybody else was concerned - him included - Cap's goal had been complete, the people were choosing.  
However, all Avengers were needed to represent SHIELD and the Security Council as well as to give of the correct message that they supported the people, also posing as silent alternatives to the election.  
And Steve's presence in particular was requested due to - even though the Council was still split - the fact that the Council predicted the majority of people voting for Captain America, so of course, the hero himself was needed.

Once the team arrived they took their seats on the stage in a large hall, filled with many, many chairs in the audience as well as space for reporters and cameras at the beginning of the podium, at the back of the hall, by the doors stood a table with pieces of paper, pens and two large boxes.

Like any serious election the public would have a week to cast their votes. Nonetheless, there were also several other similar set ups of boxes out in the surrounding corridors, Steve felt sick just looking at them.

Rogers' was so desperate for a hand to hold he almost grabbed Sam's, his friend sniggered "I get that your nervous, but there's never room for that!" The boys chuckled as the room began to fill and Barton whispered in Rogers' ears "But Thor's always ready to pose as a shoulder to lean on."

Bucky smirked "Like you'd know Clint, you can't even see his shoulders." The room was almost full now, muffled chatter breaking away at the wall containing the pestering nerves trapped in his stomach, letting them out.  
Steve began to relax, after all what did he have to worry about? Cap wasn't talking or even making his presence known to the audience - though it would be stupid for him to pretend they hadn't at least seen him.

A gasp from Wanda concluded the laughter shared amongst the talking boys, Wilson gripped her hand to check she was okay - at the opposite end of the stage Vision and Pietro tensed, feeling Witch's stiffness - she spoke gingerly "You may not need Thor to hold your hand, after all."

Confusion ruffled the surrounding men as the room continued to be packed with civilians until...Steve saw _her._

Natasha Rogers' proceeded down the centre aisle in a navy blue dress which fitted to her body comfortably, seeking attention but not clawing for it, her pace remained constant as she neared the stage. Subtly she turned, heading in Rogers' direction as she took the steps one at a time, she didn't hover, but moved - ignoring Rogers' burning stare at the back of her head - as she walked to Stark's side of the stage.  
Her position and support chosen.

The bliss her presence had pumped into his flat mind-set during her arrival was punctured as she stood - between a smirking Stark and a warming Thor, though Steve new that made her, like Thor, positioned as neutral (Given Thor being an Asgardian God and what not he felt his opinion was not required in this matter, so the God had notified both Stark and Rogers that he was neutral) she still chose to stand closer to Tony than Barnes, which told him more than a rambling Clint who was trying to calm a clenching Captain down - opposite her husband.  
Steve knew, as he was certain his wife did as well, The press would eat this defiant stunt up like candy.

Hawkeye's grumbling voice was cut off by Stark's movement to the front of the podium, applause responded as Tony welcomed everyone.

Throughout the entire speech, where Tony proceeded to tell the public aimlessly why they should vote for him, Steve could not move his eyes from her attuned silence. That hold, the drug they were for each other, was testing their addictions; Cap's eyes were captivated by Widow. No matter how much he tried - or how little - he couldn't turn away.

* * *

She wanted to look at him, really look. Show him that despite the pain she was causing him, she wasn't going untouched.

A forest of growls and rumbles rocked inside her head:

 _What the fuck are you doing?  
Look! Just look...  
You BITCH!  
You don't deserve him.  
Did you see the glint of pain in his eye when you ignored him?_

Of course, being the world's best spy enabled her to control what thoughts she ignored, she'd been pushing horrors and fears to the back of her mind for years...until she met Steve, then like a overdue storm, they all came crashing down leaving her home with no defence system.  
Her eyes were flooded, her ears drowned in screams, her mouth ripped this way and that, never in control of what she said.

Her happiness had been destroyed, but then Rogers' had shown her a new kind, one that didn't consist of successful missions and lonely take away.

But she couldn't face him, not yet.

Romanoff immediately tried to concentrate on Stark's lengthy speech, but when her eyes lifted from the floor she noticed Tony had returned from his podium and the public were applauding him; Nat couldn't help but smile, maybe there was a chance Stark would get voted anyway.

But once that thought had been seeded, she saw it grow; into a twisted poison, one she'd never seen before.

Too soon the election was over and the heroes were ordered to leave, as soon as they could let the professional façade fall that curtain could not be pulled back up.

Immediately, Thor turned to Nat, swiftly followed by a warning Barton. Tasha saw Rogers racing for her but just like that she was plucked like a feather and Tony wheeled her to his corner "Hey, sweet cheeks! You okay?" Romanoff removed his hand from her shoulder and mouthed "Peachy! Excuse me." And with that she left, intending to meet the awaiting jet at the tower.

However when she arrived she was cornered by a breathless Captain, _did he run all the way here?_  
Doesn't matter, Romanoff convinced herself she didn't care.

Wordlessly, Widow walked to her room, but a blaring Steve pounced behind her "Don't do that to me! Ever again!" Steve glared; smoke escaping his mouth as he exclaimed his frustration. "Do what Rogers?" Nat spat, turning to their room, slamming the door in what she thought was his face, but turning around she saw he was right behind her, his hazy gaze held her prisoner.

"I'm serious Romanoff I was terrified. Do you understand what I'd do if you..."

Nat's anger masked with defence "What about me? How do you think I felt?"

"When? What? I never left you."

She screamed "Yes you did. You bastard, you don't even realise, that's how bad it was."

His glass surface shattered in pain as his world came tumbling down at the tip of her hammer "Nat, I did what was right. I was being selfless." A chuckle once tinged with a musical heritage stung with venom as rich and true as the love she felt for him. The poison peeling of the fading sound of a merciless mock; so it hung in the air like a blinding fog.  
"What about what I wanted? What about being selfless for me! Or do I count for nothing." Her frustration edging her on instead of restraining her, letting out her anger she shoved him backwards "Do I not count too?" Romanoff's back faced him; She twisted the dagger with the efficacy of a killer.

Steve acted just as fast, his anger at such stupidity, leaking from a pipe. His fingertips grabbed her arms and with all his strength he threw her against the wall. "How could you be so stupid? You're all that matters, all I care about."

"Then why did you do it? Why did you fight for the position, instead of fighting for me!" Wincing from the power behind his glare.

"All I've done is fight for you." Steve stammered "That's why I took the position, so you'd be proud, so I could finally settle with you and focus completely on you without feeling the tiniest bit of guilt! I am fighting for you!"

She challenged "Prove it!"

His lips hit hers in a bone crushing kiss, she immediately reciprocated.

Throwing his shirt and tie aside and her nails racking against his skin. Her dress was ripped, revealing her lacy brain, Nat purred "I liked that dress!" The words leaping from her lips before she could stop them.

"I didn't!" His tone urging her own, making her return with just as much fire, thrusting against him, Steve growled.

Her legs were suddenly bare; he lifted her, legs wrapped around his hips.  
Grinding against him in need of friction. His nails ran against her thighs, squeezing her ass as their lips devoured each other. Romanoff nibbled against his ear, sucking and pulling as Steve undid his trousers.

Carrying them to the bed, her back arched as he sucked against her neck. Absorbing everything about Natasha Romanoff. "God...Steve!" She moaned her lips returning to his, biting his bottom lip as his tongue sank into her mouth.

Natasha separated, kissing and licking her way down his chest, he pulled away her underwear instantly as she did the same. She gasped as he got straight to work, taking her then and there. As she sank against him, picking up a rhythm straight away their lips never parted. Their kisses slow and sexy, exploring everywhere. Her hands racked against his hair, tugging him closer.

Her hips grinding against his as they groaned, she straddled against him. Her face revealing the ecstasy invading her blood. He bit her shoulder, begging for more as she tightened her grip around him, her walls convulsing. His hands set off sparks against her skin, sending shivers down her spin. Suddenly he rolled over, pressing Natasha further into the bed.

Their kissed infinitely dirty, exploring each other's mouth. Their hands pulling and tugging, discovering new places to torture their beloved. They stayed like this for a while, as Cap tediously tortured Widow, still holding onto her as they kissed endlessly. For a while they just stared at each other, neither knowing what to do now.

The desperate passion was rolling over, giving in and the lust for understanding, for communication was like everything and nothing they'd ever felt before. Neither knew where they went from this, Rogers' drew patterns against her skin; hoping a list of instructions would unfold on her smooth surface.

When their eyes met Natasha decided to say what was previously keeping her at bay "What happens now?"

Steve kissed her shoulder, lying against her chest, she enjoyed the weight of him "The elections just begun...there's not really anything to do until we have the results." Tash nuzzled against his shoulder, returning the embrace "But...Nat I need to know what will happen afterwards. If...if I do get elected what's your play?"

Her lips paused and his fingers returned to her visible hips, "I stay with you, silently suffering as you get pulled deeper and deeper into a world I thought _we_ were avoiding." Her response was bittersweet and the weight of her words caused Cap to shuffle as if he were going to move off her but Nat immediately grabbed his hands on her hips, holding him in place.

Steve's eyes sought out hers in complete relief and satisfaction at being pulled back "But let's not...why don't we just wait until we actually know?" He answered eagerly by placing a sweet mouth-opening kiss on her plump lips.  
"Sounds...reasonable." She elbowed him whilst muffling a laugh into his shoulder as she continued kissing his silky skin.

"Yo Roma..." The startling sentence hung in the air as Tony Stark bounced into the room, his eyes popping as he took in the view before him. Instantly Rogers' moved to hide a reddening Natasha.

For several seconds Stark made no motion as if to leave so Cap yelled "Stark mind giving us a minute?" The billionaire gulped, "I'll give you several, remember, before you go back to your bunny-mating, I'm waiting outside this door!"

As it slammed, Natasha muttered in Rogers' ear, nibbling it slightly before evacuating the bed and dressing in a robe "You see, JARVIS would have warned us...but nooooo, FRIDAY just watches willingly!"

Just on cue came the flirtatious tongue "Actually, Mrs Rogers, it may interest you to know I was giving you and your husband privacy to, as it were put 'mate like rabbits.'"

Without hesitation Natasha engaged, the door opened "Stark!" the door slammed. Through the closed door Steve heard Stark's peachy welcoming:

"So thrilled you could join me, this won't take a moment, I'm sure you and Rogers will be able to return soon enough to mat..."

"TONY," sigh "What do you want?"

"Oh, nothing much. Just general chit chat...so, how are things?" A smacking sound smothered Steve's surface; smugly smirking. "Ow!" Tony protested.

"Alright...alright! I came, because after the election I have been informed that all my supporters and representatives must engage with the public."

Even though Cap couldn't catch it himself, he more than felt Widow frown "What...why?"

"Uhhhhhh, so as to favour my odds and give off the heart-melting impression that the Avengers are supporting me at all costs!" A cheesy grin and sarcastic eye-role played out in Rogers' head as those words travelled under the door.

"Why are you just telling me and not Steve?"

"Because...Captain Super sperm and I aren't 'mating like bunnies' and if the press gets a whiff of our latest spat it could be critical, for my odds as councillor and yours at motherhood."

Another smacking sound vibrated through the air.

"Fine, you know what...I just came to tell you that reporters will be visiting the tower and most likely pursuing any Avenger caught in public, so be warned and just...try to avoid talking at all costs, especially without going over the script."

Eyebrows arched "Script? Really?"

The front door opened "Just...stay away from the paparazzi at all costs and don't talk to them."

"Fine, now...go and find somebody else to pester"

"Will do...now, stay safe kids!"

Natasha quickly returned to Steve, finding him curled in bed, almost appearing too innocent. She removed her gown and strutted over to her idolising husband, climbing into his arms and securing the wrapped present with the bow of a kiss.  
"What did Stark want?" He asked, his fingers pushing against the skin of her back, making her tingle. "I know you were ease-dropping." She whispered, moving his hands to her thighs were they danced wildly around the flame of the heat providing fire that was her shapely legs.

Steve didn't try to hide it, didn't dodge the truth; Nat smiled; he was learning. "So does Stark, I think that's the point."

"What is?" Her kisses moving to his exposed neck and chest.

"That I heard, I think he wants me to feel like you're leaving me. Betraying me for him,"

She paused, looking up from her crouched position on his stomach; she leaned back up, her breasts grinding against him just a little "You don't feel that way, do you?" After releasing a moan Steve pulled her lips to his "No, well I did. But now I don't. You're allowed your opinion and right now, my goal is complete, it's not like I desire to go head to head with Stark. I'm merely stating if the people chose me, I'm not going to let them down, however I'm not putting my neck on the line to get the position. If the people vote Stark, I'll be happy."

Natasha purred in admiration, her fingers tender on his shoulders, her legs straddling his lap, she returned to nibbling his ear "So can we go back to what we were-" Suddenly Steve rolled, pining Natasha under him and exploding her mouth with passion "It would be my pleasure!"


	5. Out of hand

**Okay, so I'm going on holiday for a week! So that is why this update is shorter than most and will be the last update until I'm back...I know, I know...sad times! However, I may or may not be updating whilst on holiday (Hopefully not, because if I have enough time to do this - even though I love it - it will mean a boring/bad holiday) So just keep waiting until I'm back and please don't give up on the story.**

Cool hands wrapped tightly around Natasha and his scent was everywhere, surrounding her. Immediately she turned, her fingers lopping through his belt-lopes and pulling him to her.  
Their body's hit and the distance was crushed between two passionate hearts.

"How was your run?" Romanoff pecked his cheeks with kisses.  
Steve smiled; it was like the first few months of their marriage, everything was suddenly new and official. They now had legal meanings to one another, slowly the reverie was pushed away by the consistent need for joined lips.

"I haven't been yet, I was going to go now, wondering if you wanted to join me?" Nat puckered her lips before declining, it wasn't exactly the best idea for her to be physically exerting herself when they were trying for a baby, though until she was positive she was having a child she'd continue to work for SHIELD.

"Okay, don't miss me too much." He joked before heading for the door, Tasha pounced on his back and his arms lifted around her legs as they rode the elevator "I can't make any promises!" She hopped off when arriving at the lounge, the doors opening revealing an intense lip-lock between Mr and Mrs Rogers, before she stepped out and waved goodbye as he headed for the bottom floor of the tower.

Once Steve was gone, Pietro's arms wrapped around her neck from behind in an embrace. She returned the gesture as the pair walked towards the other Avengers who were smugly smiling "I see you and Rogers are feeling better?" Banner hid his smile behind his book.

Natasha bit her lip, flopping onto the couch her legs stretching over Thor's lap, he smiled warmly "You could say that." Romanoff couldn't keep the beam of light escaping her mouth concealed any longer.

Stark arrived into the lounge, a trail of reporters following him with microphones, cameras, notepads, recorders and the like stretching for the words fathomed by the incredulous genius. Their filthy paws clawing for the biggest scope of the week, anything to push themselves higher into the proud pyramid of power.

"And as you can see my associates are all ready and waiting to answer any further questions you have." Stark pointed in the huddled direction of his 'associates.'

Dashing away Tony fled the scene, winking at his rising friends before disappearing.

Barton mockingly shook his head "The nerve on that one!" The avengers' smiles soon disappeared as the reporters rounded, in their canopy of comfort and the safety they felt in their numbers.

Immediately each Avenger was pulled into an interview, Nat, Barnes and Wilson were approached together as one perky, red cheeked, bleach-blonde woman pestered "Is it true you've all engaged in sexual intercourse with Mr Stark?"

Bucky's face pulled into a disgusted mask and Wilson almost gaged, Natasha kept her cool and responded cheerfully "Well, I haven't...however, who knows what goes on behind closed doors between those three" her fingers inching towards the horrified grimaces painted across James and Sam's canvases.

Immediately they directed the interview in a different direction, despite the reporter's keen interest in the subject. _Oops._ "So, tell us...are you all supporting Mr Stark?"

His tone falling slightly, and his voice as nonchalantly attuned as it could be, Bucky enquired "Why wouldn't we be?"

The reporter's eyes drew together in disappointment, but she was consistent "Well, there have been quite a few rumours stating that the Avengers are split, that somebody else was chasing that position."

Sam placed his hand on James' rising chest as he rushed to explain "We all support Tony strongly, and these rumours...are that, rumours made up by somebody dishing out the dirt."

The girl really wasn't getting lucky today, she swerved to Romanoff, slightly over confident in her glare but Widow shifted her weight and her intimidating vibe was edging to penetrate this chic's cockiness. "So, is it true you and Captain Rogers are trying for a baby?" _Where was this girl getting her information?_

The spy was calm about to answer when Tony ran into the room again, fury twitching his brows together "Paparazzi out!" When everybody remained still as a statue Thor stood up in a slightly more intimidating stance and instantly they fled. Their shadows just as desperate to escape as their body's; chasing after them.

"What's going on?" Natasha was rushing to Tony's trembling hands, taking the material laced between them, it took quite a bit of tugging; his hold was like iron.  
When she grabbed the magazine she saw the headline "STARK VS ROGERS; Who will win? Civil War to commence!" And below the eye-robbing title was a picture of Steve at the election, glaring whilst Stark was in his element at the podium.

 _That wasn't right..._ instantly Nat knew the photo was cropped, Steve had been glaring at _her_ during the election, not Tony.

Barton came behind her, his eyes seeking her stunned silence.

"Wha...how did they know?"

Just when the vein in Stark's forehead was about to pop, Captain Rogers danced into the lounge, a damp layer of sweat shining against his handsome features. Natasha gulped, her eyes glaring into his head. His smile dropped immediately "What?" He asked, worry coating his tone for a harsh storm threatening to strike.

Romanoff flashed the magazine cover, reading the title and then bold writing beneath "Stark vs Rogers; who will win? Civil War to commence! Take an inside took at the action with a private interview with Captain Steven Grant Rogers himself." Nat's voice cracked when she read the last few words, her eyes glazed over. "Steve...what did you do?"

He stammered and stuttered, it was quite a saddening sight, Natasha almost pitied him; almost. "That's taken out of content, completely!" Bucky, Wanda, Barton and Wilson moved immediately standing behind Steve. Whereas Stark's supporters; Rhodey, Vision, Pietro and Banner waited behind him.  
Thor, - holding Jane firmly to his side - Pepper and Natasha stood in the middle.

Tony ran to Natasha, gripping the paper from her hands and snatching it away "Let's take a good look seey at what you told them: Ha...oh, self-obsessed and centred! Very nice! Ha...Oh, oh so you're now running for-"

Pepper charged and grabbed it, her previous smile so far gone it looked like her grimace was an eternal feature, it was set in stone.

"Oh, come on Pepper it was just getting good!" Stark yelled.

Barton spat "Come off it Stark."

Rhodey smirked "Oh, you're still standing with him Barton..."

Wilson interjected "You know Steve would never..."

Banner tried to stay nonchalant "The press says..."

Bucky was shaking with anger "Because you believe everything the tabloids come out with? You're meant to be the smart one."

Tony was getting tetchy "And you're meant to be dead!" Wanda grabbed James, keeping him in place.

Clint returned to Rhodey's comment "What do you mean shell-head?"

Rhodey glared down with determination "Just saying, BIRDBRAIN, if Steve can't even keep quiet about this it won't be long before you're family's being targeted!"

Natasha had known Clint for a while, during that time she'd witnessed him in dark places and moods, always flickers of his true breaking point. But somehow Rhodey, who'd officially known him for less than a year, managed to snap Clint like a stick.

Hawkeye yelled "Oh big talk for someone in your position, a _new Avenger_ , here because Stark wanted somebody always fighting in his corner...Everybody knows you're doing what you've always done...leeching off other people's success. But just you wait until he's out of blood!"

Barton charged forwards preparing to break something; most likely Rhodey's neck, War Machine didn't hold back either. Without a second to spare Natasha jumped in between the men, that alone holding Barton off however Rhodey still made to move forward. When Romanoff didn't shift he pulled out his hand, preparing to push her away.  
Immediately Steve was rushing forwards, causing Tony to reflect his actions, ready to punch but a side-glance to Wanda had Steve and Stark frozen in place whilst Romanoff grabbed Rhodey's reaching hand, twisting it "Rhodey...don't be stupid! You might need your hand in the future." His tension vanished, as did the force-fields holding the frustrated men.

They both stood where they were, Rhodey and Clint returning to their sides.

Rogers walked to Nat, his eyes checking, his hands about to stir her to his side when Tony interrupted "Oh, last time I checked _Romanoff_ was on my side!" Steve was about to retaliate when Stark's hand grabbed Nat's arm and she stepped away from both of them.

Natasha spat at the disturbing faces of her 'loved' ones "And last time I checked you two were decent friends!" An army of sniggers and snarls invaded her ears.

Steve spoke "Yes we were, at least I thought we were."

Stark cocked an eyebrow "So did I."

Cap continued "Until..."

"Somebody became a self-centred, jealous prick!" Tony roared.

Without flinching Rogers returned the fire "You must be rubbing off on me!"

"ENOUGH!" Pepper yelled as Tony and Steve stepped back together, "Seriously guys! What the fuck is going on with you two?"

Immediately their voices enveloped the other, so small snippets were caught here and there, but the majority of defence was silenced just by the rambling noise of screaming.

Natasha stood next to Potts, their hands on hips, mirroring each other's anger and fuelling it. "Neither of you deserve the position!" that silenced them both.

Stark stuttered at that "Well...if we don't deserve it who does?"

Pepper snapped "Anybody but you!" she then left, Natasha staring down at the boys.

 **The next day...**

"Pepper! Have you seen this?" The woman strutted into her friend's office, flashing Pepper a glance at the horror unfolding before them. Potts' eyes went wide in shock "You've got to be kidding me!"

Suddenly both women were evacuating the room, in search of their significant partners. On their journey Romanoff growled "Potts you busy later?"

Her snap caused Natasha to chuckle "NOT ANYMORE! Why?"

"Wondering if you'd help me with something."

"What?"

"Arranging a funeral..."

Pepper snarled as the elevators opened and the scene in front of them stank of pure chaos "Make that two!"

* * *

Before he could stop himself Steve charged, knocking the wind out of Stark. Immediately Pietro and Rhodey tackled Steve, pulling him back and keeping him there. Behind him Rogers heard the distant sound of furniture being thrown, in the corner of his eye he spotted Banner rushing to the back of the room with a disapproving Thor.

Boldly Barton snatched at War Machine whilst Bucky went head to head against Pietro. Wanda was about to step between the pair when Thor wrapped his arms around her and transported her to the safety of Banner's secluded huddle.  
The ping of an elevator caught Stark and Steve's attention and they froze, fists raised as they saw Pepper Potts and Natasha Rogers melting their body's into a pile of sticky liquid.

In Natasha's hand was another magazine, this time one Tony had been interviewed for. No matter how many times Steve told Stark that during one of his daily runs a group of reporters had followed him and coaxed him into snapping harshly when mentioning the election and Romanoff's apparent siding with Tony.  
Everybody else believed him, even the Avengers siding with Stark believed Steve would _never_ say those sorts of things without some motivation.

However Tony had refused to hear it and had retaliated with his own ball of fire, calling Captain America a selfish dick and stating the truth about the matter. As Fury had stated - on the phone conversation Cap had just shared with the previous Director before _this_ happened - that magazine article had received a lot of attention and made the public's voting excel as well as many riots breaking out; demanding "more time" so they could collective chose between who they preferred.

The one thing the public would not understand was that Rogers didn't want the position, _why would they? Why would Captain America talk to the press if he didn't want the job?_

Steve had begged Natasha to understand, things had finally settled back down between them and Rogers was overly surprised when she'd responded by telling him "I meant what I said, there's nothing we can do till after the election." Though their fate was being played with, as after a result of many many rioting the Security Council had extended the election for 2 weeks, so the civilians could take their time and counter all possibilities and consequences of voting for Tony.

Even so Tasha had been distant, but they were still sharing a bed and talking, no matter how dry or stiff the conversations were. Even though Steve hadn't - and wouldn't - said to the press that he wanted the position since the release of these articles the public was treating him like he'd made it as known as Tony that he was running.

Posters for Stark were now covered with posters of Steve, Rogers had even found one of the posters over a target board down in gym with several bullets holes in. Once he'd seen Romanoff's sobbing silhouette he'd joined her with his own gun, which he was proud to see had perked her up. It was no longer a lean winter but a steady spring in the seasons of Natasha Rogers' wavering mood swings.

Now however, after the girls had discovered the magazine, they looked beyond murderous...they represented the face of death themselves.

As if noticing the army of women - still just Romanoff and Potts - the fighting _boys_ concluded their release of frustration.

"Stark! Are you retarded? Saying this stuff may reflect badly on Steve, but it will also back fire on you."

"Excuse me?" The billionaire panted, loosing breath at just standing next to Rogers' towering height it seemed.

Pepper continued to elaborate "If Steve doesn't get elected, he looses nothing, he doesn't want this. His wish has been granted by the council, the people are deciding. However...if you lose your wish hasn't. You'll come off as...stupid." She may have summed up the end result a tiny bit biasedly, however it was close enough for Widow's liking.

Subtly the spy crept forwards, her fingers gripping Steve's arm with enough force that he was shoved behind her. Before heading to their room, where Cap guessed he'd be receiving an unconcealed beating, she snarled "Please try not to destroy our home whilst I'm gone." Her voice shook Stark to the very core.

And Steve didn't miss the grain of sympathy Stark's eyes held for the smallest of seconds as he watched Steve being lead, like a dumb dog out of the damaged living room.  
Natasha smiled once she heard Pepper finishing her end of the bargain.

Once they were in the room Natasha dropped her hold, turning with anger and waiting for Steve to explain "Okay, so I threw the first _physical_ punch...but Stark deserved it"

She rolled her eyes "What did he say _this time?"_

Steve gulped, not wishing to repeat the harsh urgency at which Tony had stated his wisely chosen words. "I don't think it's wise for me to repeat..."

"Well I want you to, so"

Steve frowned before shaking his head, this he was putting his foot down on "I DON'T WANT TO."

Tasha paused in her hasty judgement "It wasn't about you was it?" He shook his head and for a minute Natasha felt just looking at him caused her pain, enough so that she was lost in his eyes.  
One minute in the comfort of their safe space and then in the freezing isolation of icy.

She snapped out of it flinching and hugging him as she tried to fight away the cold embracing his shivering spine, he whispered, gasping for air "I was defending...you."

Natasha tried to conceal her smirk as she muttered against his chest "I can defend myself you loveable goof!" But as to demonstrate her happiness that he'd do such a small thing, but yet it would affect so much more and the fact that it was second nature for him touched her.

She moved from her hug to bring him back further, kissing him gently. He responded immediately and Nat paused whispering "Let's go to bed"

Steve smiled, all tickles and tingles of ice leaving his midst rapidly. He cocked an eyebrow "Bed-bed...or _bed."_ She snarled, loosing her temperature and pulled him towards the bedroom.


	6. About time

**I'm back!  
Why don't you give me a little review as a returning present? Xx**

* * *

 **Tuesday**

The countdown began.

 **Wednesday**

Natasha distanced herself from the piling bricks of bitter butterflies.

 **Thursday**

Steve and Stark threw themselves deeper into the tangling talons of contorting columnists.

 **Friday**

The Rogers begin the attempts at conceiving a child.

 **Saturday**

Wanda and Pietro dangle their relationship dangerously as the team drifts further and further apart.

 **Sunday**

Silence in the tower.

 **Monday**

Romanoff feels the daunting fear of a taut connection embedding into her shadow.

 **Tuesday**

Steve drowns in his desperation for the pain to end...

 **Wednesday**

Barton snaps, cracking the branch of Rhodey's settlement during the process of falling aimlessly. The two resolve their problems by hitting one another.

 **Thursday**

Bucky moves into the tower temporarily, at Potts invitation and the temptation to swivel Tony's stretching will deeper and deeper into an undistinguishable knot.

 **Friday**

Natasha fears for the fleeing weekend.

 **Saturday**

Stark throws a party in an attempt to drug his problems and numb the division forming between himself and a disgruntled Pepper.

* * *

Fumbling fingers pattered pathetically against nibbling lips.

It was the early hours of what was otherwise a peacefully calm Sunday morning, also the last day of the two week election that had been ticking away like a bomb.

Natasha sat in her bed, unrested. Her eyes travelled over the entwined limbs of her Captain, soundlessly laying with his head resting lightly on her stomach.

Romanoff waited for the bomb to erupt.

A shiver catapulted against her aching determination. Steve shifts sudden but silently, his hand grasping her drumming fingers and deceasing their nervous dance. He kissed each one individually, seeing the stalking shadow of sickness under her darkening eyes.

The warmth provided from the previous weight of his head made her shiver, as he moved, but it was soon stopped by the enveloping arms he rested against her back, pulling her into his lap.  
They stayed like this for what was shifting from several hours to seconds, the time always felt too long and then too short.

Immediately, Nat yawned, breathing in the skin-tingling scent of Steve and she turned into his exposed shoulder, kissing him gently. "Are you hungry?" He asked with a smile after several more intense nibbles and kisses to his shoulder.

Despite the omnipresent tension pressing down on her, Nat smiled. Stepping out of bed and pulling him with her, they dressed slowly before heading out to the deserted kitchen hand in hand.

The gloomy quiet corners and corridors resembled the toll each teammate was experiencing, the kitchen lacked Banner and Roger's taste of a familiar smell; the utensils cold and neglected.  
The lounge missed the rocking laughter of Thor, Wilson and Rhodes retelling humiliating stories, the silence was deafening; the motionlessness stilling.  
The balcony begged for Barton's mocking humour and use as a comfortable hide out and climbing frame.  
Pietro's footprints were no longer embedded into the carpet and Vision's morning pacing before the window was incomplete.  
The wallpaper sagged against the falling structure, the entire furniture missing the regular imprints and sweet touch of a tiding Potts; whereas now, nothing needed tiding.  
Tony's regular butt print was lonely on the too neat couch, Wanda's lack of bewildering brightness dampened the room, her smile was as concealed and set as the sun on a winter's evening.  
Natasha's most recent book lay untouched on the coffee table, she no longer felt the comfort to lie, with her feet resting in Thor's lap and her head against Tony's shoulder, and enjoy the relaxing sensation of losing herself in another world entirely; at the moment her own was too possessively paralyzing to allow her to leave.

The closed blinds limited the light, nobody was bothered to open them anymore.

Slowly the pair returned to their regular needs, two mugs of brewing coffee (one decaf) lay warmly waiting for them, Banner was surprisingly still tending to everybody else's needs. Next to the two mugs was a shrinking level of alcohol and several bottles of water as well as jugs of tea.

Food was another matter, the majority of the team didn't have the heart to eat. Whenever they were rarely feeling peckish they'd go out for a bite to eat, not together of course.  
The dining room had gone cold and isolated in the fallout of the latest fist-fight - the other evening several plates had been smashed when Wanda had attempted to coax her friends back into a regular routine. The majority of Avengers had remained still during the sound, either not hearing it or wishing they hadn't, when Nat and Pietro had stumbled into the room a tearful Scarlet Witch had been sinking against the wall.  
Plastic peppering the floor and blood dripping from her curling hand, it had taken a lengthy wash and day-filled sleep to get Wanda to return to her regular routine again.  
But she'd never tried to bring back the forgotten presence of happiness since. - That was the most recent entering of the dining room.

The one area which wasn't neglected or craved human presence was: Tony and Bruce's lab, the pair spent more time in there than they did anywhere else. Whenever either had been checked on, secretly or not, conversation had been non-existent.  
And the basement which acted as the gym, every time Nat had entered the gym - which was more than often on a normal week - someone else had been there, doing whatever it took to release the flooding ocean of energy which was usually channelled into anger.

The fact that this was a tower, housing 17 people at most (including all additional family members and Avengers) and Tasha was hardly seeing any of them was far past unsettling. Despite the unlimited space each member had and the regular opportunities to avoid one another, they had always managed to see each other more than once in a day.  
Yet during the course of the rising election the Rogers' mostly saw each other and sometimes a flicker of the Maximoff twins or a thump from a crawling Barton in the air-vents.

Steve and Nat turned towards each other as their coffee was drunk, for a minute Natasha didn't know what to do with herself.

Tomorrow all would be revealed and _oh God had she been waiting for this!_  
But at the same time...she had no idea what the result would entail.

"You ok?" Steve nudged her arm playfully, Nat downed the remains of her warming beverage before turning back to Steve, a weak smile in place. "I've been worse..." she paused, letting Steve wrap his arms around her and pull her towards him.

"I just feel, like I'm waiting for something inevitable to tell me what I'm supposed to do, how I'm meant to act. But that," she moved from his grip, finally unlocking a prison of captive thoughts "It can't be right, how can just finding out if you've been elected or not change anything? I mean, look at this" she motioned to their lonely surroundings "How will Stark becoming a Security Councillor fix this?"

Steve muffled his agreement with a dignified sigh "You're right, it can't. And I've let it go too far this time" Nat shook with pity.  
"Steve, no! Not everything is your fault, okay we all played a part in this and it will take all of us to get it back." Rogers rested his chin against her shaking head, pulling her soft tassels away from her face.

"I know." He whispered soothingly "I know, Nat..." No tears left her eyes, they were too dry, but her body shook like she was weeping nonetheless.

Standing out like a sore thumb was the cheerful whistle cooing down the corridor, despite the none-dampness of her cheeks, Romanoff still wiped under her eyes for good measure.  
Another thing wrong with this picture, besides the disturbing frame of lone solitude of the Avengers, Nat still felt the need to put up a cold exterior when anybody except Steve could witness her weak.

Stark paused in his stroll down the corridor, the silence that followed his finished footsteps made out that the tower was deserted, it may as well have been for all the action unfolding within it's once welcoming arms.

"Romanoff, Captain." He nodded stiffly and continued on his journey, Steve called whilst Tony waited for the elevator "Where are you going?"

The billionaire kept his back to them. "Why you gonna miss my omnipresent witty attitude in the lonely hours of paradise, sweet cheeks?" Nat sniffled as she moved back to Steve, her fingers seeking his and Stark's head moved to the right when he heard the sound.  
He reassembled himself "I'm just going to see Lorie, last minute Wedding thing." The elevator pinged on arrival.

Natasha licked her lower lip "Don't talk to any press." Her tone a mere warning rather than harsh threat, _What was wrong with Widow?_

Tony entered the lift, keeping his back to the couple, Natasha thought he was being sweet, offering her privacy in a lapse of strength. "Noted."

As soon as he left Romanoff hugged Rogers tightly, she felt more than saw his guilt. "How.." he wavered "How could I do this to _that_ guy?" She knew he was referring to Tony's redeemed personality, after Ultron Stark's promise for a better Tony was more than a couple tedious New Year's resolutions which faded out quicker than the nauseating hang over the following morning.  
Tony meant every word and he'd done more than kept his promise, Natasha tightened her hold on Rogers', feeling his need for sympathy outlasting hers. "You didn't...Stop! You're not going against him," Their foreheads touched and they eyelashes locked, Nat staring at his contemplating features. "You're...you're fighting for the right thing, just against the _wrong_ person."

She crept closer, if possible, their entire bodies touching. Her lips moved as if to kiss him, but the impulse was fleeting.  
Cap than took the step she'd been too scared to, the feeling was fragile. It had to be handed gently and Widow's fingers were too jittery for such delicacy.

Their kiss was a fleeting movement, but enough.

The couple managed to move past their hiccup from breakfast and by late afternoon Natasha was curled into Rogers' side sleeping, whilst Steve held her, his chuckles rocking gently against her resting figure.  
On the left of Nat sat a close Thor, who was protecting her as well, by barracking her between two of her closest friends. Thor was copying Steve by also holding a laughing Jane Foster, who'd come to stay frequently at the tower. Despite feeling like she was intruding, Jane knew Thor needed her here - as well as Potts and Romanoff - she was a much needed distraction and one of the pulls that kept the team from erupting into battles every 5 seconds.

Sure, the team were mad at one another, but they'd never wish severe harm on each other. Especially someone as uninvolved and neutral as Jane.

The three, not counting a sleeping Tasha, were watching some light-hearted comedy.  
As the movie progressed more of the teammates gathered, Nat stayed sleeping.

Stark returned from his outing, appearing somehow dampened from the sunny spell he'd cast before leaving. However he perked up, seeing more of his teammates ignoring the disappearing day and invading controversy that tomorrow would bring.

He sat next to the couch in a lazy armchair, his laughs synching up with the teams - Wilson and Bucky were sat at Steve's feet. Wanda and Vision occupying the love seat somewhat awkwardly, Rhodey, Banner and Barton were still nowhere to be seen though. Pietro approached from behind the couch, squeezing between Thor and Nat, easily lifting her legs whilst she slept, and returning them to their previous position on his lap, so to not disturb her - Pepper than materialized in slouch clothes, something few people had witnessed Potts wearing, she sat on Stark's lap.

Tony wrapping his arms around her waist. During another chorus of chuckles Tony and Rogers' eyes caught, neither looked away. But smiled surprisingly, feeling bad for what they knew would come with the results from the election. (Though the election was ending tomorrow, the votes were being counted and collected across the country as well as the world, which God knew how long would take. For all they knew, the team still had a week to wait to know the answer...but at least it would be worth it)

When the movie ended they simply put on another one, just as light-hearted and cheerful, slowly Natasha stirred. Her eyes opening to the most beautiful sight she'd seen in a while.  
For several minutes she tried to stay completely still, so as to not smudge this picture, but Steve bent down, kissing her forehead at knowing his wife was awake.

She smiled at the gesture, yes this was a pretty awesome picture...  
...The only problem was, some people were missing.

Romanoff stretched slightly, awaking Pietro to her presence, he squeezed her hand and smirked as she wiped away sleep "Tired, Tash? Have we not been getting enough sleep recently?" His eyes playfully pointed towards Steve and her, Nat sniggered elbowing his stomach before Quicksilver could dash away.

She turned to her smiling teammates "Where's everyone else?" A few shrugs here and there, as much as Nat hated to leave, she stood up intending to find them.

Also following her lead was Jane and Pepper, they spilt up once arriving at the elevator. Potts pursuing Rhodes, Foster following Banner and Nat...well Natasha guessed she was off into the air-vents.

Romanoff easily flipped herself into the open vent above Barton's bed, cursing when she almost hit the ceiling with her head. _If she struggled to fit in here, how the fuck did Barton manage to squeeze his big ass around these tight corners?_

It didn't take long for Widow to track Hawkeye down, as soon as she was in the vents a heavy dose of alcohol stung her nose. She swore, her sense of smell was enhancing each day.  
As she approached the dark passage overlooking Tony's cellar - where the liquor was kept - she held back a gag at the ferocious assaults of the stench. _What was Clint doing? Drowning himself in the drink?_

Her eyes stung when she saw Clint hunched over, his arms dangling below his bent knees with a bottle of scotch in each hand and several empty ones by his feet. Nat bit her lip as she joined him, hunched over on the floor. Though Clint looked like he hadn't seen her, Nat knew he had, he was _always_ watching; _always_ seeing.

He muttered in her ear, his hand wildly flying in the air "I knew you were coming. You know why Tash, you know why?" He chuckled at the unentertaining sentence, Natasha bowed her head, waiting "Because I heard you swearing about my rabbit hole!" He laughed, taking another swig.  
Though Tasha was pained to see her best friend in such a way, she couldn't hold back the snigger than left her lips.

His voice barraged into her ear once more, almost deafening her "Did you say something about my ass? AHAha...Nat likes my ass." Nat snorted, her fingers grasping his hold of the bottle as he returned for another swig.  
Natasha whispered to him "I like _saving_ your ass." Willingly he let her take the alcohol away from him, he poked her cheek lightly "Why?" Romanoff smirked, she often found herself asking that same question.

"Because...what else would keep me entertained around here? Now come, everybody's waiting."

She placed his arm over her shoulders and ducked, noting the sound of his head hitting the ceiling "Shit!" and the curse word he screamed down the vent.

He then made as if to lean backwards, so Tash moved him in front of her. She pushed him gently, muttering to herself when she had to squeeze him round a tight bend "Why do I always have to be the one crawling into your dangy hid outs? I don't do this to you..."

He huffed as her hand shoved his ass, finally fitting round the tight bend. The sound of him landing, without his usual elegance, on the bed face down was muffled by "You see...I knew you liked my ass!"

Natasha then dropped down the vent, closing it behind herself before rolling off the bed and fetching Clint a glass of water.

He downed it quickly, shaking his head at the sensation of hydration.

He pulled a face as he realised the pain he'd be feeling later, though he was still heavily intoxicated he seemed to return to his regular Clint Barton senses by pulling what Nat called a 'Clint Barton bitch face'

Slowly she sank into the mattress with him, her hand holding his knee, "Clint, what's going on?" He was silent for a second.

"I...I came back. I got back in the game, all for what? Nothing..."

She tried to keep her face expressionless "Not nothing...you came back for Laura and Nate, Cooper and Lila." Her hand squeezed his knee gently "You came back for me...and the team."

He looked hazy "But why? Rhodey was right, I've endangered my entire life, my family...for what?"

Natasha smiled, taking her hand away "You know Rogers' most be rubbing off on you. You came back for the exact reason he's at odds with Stark..." she locked eyes with him "So you won't feel guilty for stepping aside."

Clint chuckled half-heartedly "I must be growing up."

She took his hand, leading him to the lounge "Well it's about damn time!"

The pair slowly enter the lounge hand in hand, as soon as they arrive Nat notices Clint's glazed over eyes and hesitation. So instead, ignoring the watching Avengers, Tasha pulls him outside onto _his_ balcony.

They just stand there, hand holding, looking at the gloomy sky.

A shaky sigh alerts Romanoff who looks nervously at Barton, he turns immediately and hugs her tightly, hiding his face in her hair. She returns the gesture of course and when they separate she pokes his arm "You sure that's all that's on your mind?" He bites his lip, but nods, certainty in his eyes.

For once in his life, Pietro joins them, slowly. His steps are gentle and light, seeing if he's intruding, Nat opens up her arms to show he's welcome. Maximoff leans his arm against Widow's shoulder, whilst offering kindness to Clint.

"You ok, bird?" He asks, shifting his arm on Romanoff's shoulder slightly.

Clint nods, "Yeah, just needed a diagnosis from the Doc here!" He pokes Tasha's stomach, who scowls disapprovingly. Pietro shifts his arm again, almost as if he were pushing her height further into the ground.

"Really, how'd that go for..." another shift, this time his arm rests on top of her head, and poke and Nat turned, trying to contain her slight snigger by a grimace.

"Fuck off!" She snarls, reaching out of Barton's poking distance and Maximoff's mocking height difference.  
But as they both begin chuckling they grab her retreating arms and hug her "Awww...Tashy's getting emba.." Pietro's sentence back into the tower is cut off by Clint suddenly remembering he was intoxicated moments ago.

Instantly Hawkeye cooed his head, yelling the word "Tushy!" Both Widow and Quicksilver look at him sceptically once they're back inside the lounge.

Stark calls from the armchair "What's that about your tushy Birdboy?"

Clint sat at Nat's feet, her back resting into Steve's chest. "Oh, yeah Tasha likes my tushy." Romanoff kicked him, knocking his head back "Ouch!"

* * *

The remainder of the day ebbed away far too quickly, especially after such a slow start.

Natasha was once again ending the day the way she'd started it, she sat up in bed. Trying to keep her breathing even, to her back Cap was shifting lightly. He grabbed her hand and pulled her down, relaxing her feeling of sickness.  
He pulled her into his arms, her back pressing into his stomach, he whispered in her ear sweet assurances and somehow Tasha managed to drift off.

* * *

"Nick." Pepper coolly greeted, inviting him into the dining room. Once Fury was inside he saw the only other person in the room; Widow sat biting her lip.

Both women sat calmly before him, small habits every now and then only pointing out their apprehension.

"We haven't got all results, the majority of countries have not called for a full election and have just assembled generals and leaders, emperors...anybody who has a voice and they've stated their opinions."

Nat snarled "Don't let Cap hear or else you'll be doing this thing all over again."

"Hell no! Do you two realise..." he refrained "Some of the countries, have vouched for Cap." Natasha took in a sharp intake of breath "They know him for the symbol that he is, they trust him more than Stark."

Pepper gripped Widow's hand "What about the others?"

Nick paused "They're not necessarily vouching for Stark, however they're livid that...Europe is furious that the only elected were American heroes." Nat recovered "They would be," her tone dripping in sarcasm "Even my Russian heritage is telling me this is wrong." She drooled over the last bit, allowing bitterness to tang her tone.

Fury continued "America, as far as we can tell is split rather fairly...Sokovia is fuming."

Both women nodded.

"Figures, they're finally beginning to trust us and we offer two of the 'heroes' responsible for their mistrust a position which _will_ affect them and their country."

Pepper groaned "What are you saying Nick?"

The man sat down "I'm saying we should prepare for the worst, not just one of your beloveds getting taken from you," the girls glared "but for a battle. Hydra's taking advantage of Sokovia's anger. They're going to act and not alone, we need to be ready."

He eyed Romanoff, his eyes hovering over her flat stomach "All of us."

Both women sat abrupt, and then when Fury stood they caved forwards, collapsing in on their daunting fears.

He paused before the door "I will be telling them." Nat resumed her position of emotionless and stood, helping Potts do so as well.

"Why just them? If there's going to be a battle, we need to be ready." She licked her dry lips, opening the dining room door. "All of us!"

* * *

The Avengers were in the conference room, even though everybody was present, a clear line of distinction separated the team. Nick Fury was at the head of the conference, his presence alone seeping concern into the air which was than inhaled by each individual Avenger; worry was in their veins.

Natasha stood at the back of the room, her eyes burning into the back of Steve's neck. She could feel the frown forming, the wool knitting together as the silence stilled.

"I think I can speak for everyone when I say, what are we doing here?" Stark hunched over the glass table, his reflection disappointing himself at the worry buried in his worn wrinkles.

Steve spoke from behind his hands "More importantly, what are _you_ doing here?" Nobody was surprised at the heat peeling off that question and sticking in the air, warming the surrounding observers sickly.

Fury placed his hands in his pockets, his instinct to pace overriding everything else "Votes are being counted as we speak, the majority already collected."

Stark stood at full height "Do we have to do this _here_?" Here meaning in public.  
Nat gulped, Tony already felt he was losing, _well he wasn't exactly wrong..._

"Yes, because things may not be as...black and white as we thought."

Banner was seated next to Nat, calculating "What do you mean?"

"It may not be enough even if the majority of the population voted for either of you. Sokovia, and they're not alone, are outraged that the only two known candidates are American..."

"Especially two Americans known for creating the Ultron..." Steve was interrupted

"You didn't create the Ultron programme, I did!" Stark barked.

Steve stayed still "I didn't exactly stop you."

"How could you? Not like you even know how to keep tabs on my work..."

"I'm the leader of the Avengers' I should have been..."

Nat spat "Co-leader"

The debate was paralyzed in place.

Nat moved to the front of the room, eyes staring deeply into her demeanour. "Fury suspects an attack to commence, possibly as soon as we get the results, maybe sooner. We need to be ready"

Pietro frowned "With what, a battle plan?"

Thor shook his head "If the Avengers fight because of this that defeats the objective of the election."

Bucky stood "Does it?"

"Yes" Vision answered "The reason Captain requested for an election was so the people have freedom, if we then fight against a country disagreeing with our meaning of freedom, we're taking away theirs."

Stark retorted to his shoulder "The reason Super-sperm requested an election was so I wouldn't get in."

Natasha elected to ignore him. "But it's not a country we'd be fighting, it's Hydra."

"Sokovia's right though, we shouldn't have just an election involving Americans."

Barton chided "Rockwell was American, and he's the slot that needs filling."

Wanda stared "Maybe a mix-up would be better."

"Well it's too late now! And plus the Council were only ever interested in Rogers, they never approached anybody else."

Fury silenced the group "That's because this position is temporary! You people seem to forget that Cap was approached as a momentary fix up whilst the Council had to appear as strong as steel due to Hydra's anticipated attack and the rebuild of Sokovia."

Steve buckled his fingers "Until the press got a hold of this."

"Well we all know whose fault that is." Stark examined his fingers carefully.

Wilson joined Nat at the front "That's not the issue right now. We need to prepare."

Natasha was feeding off Sam's attention gripping performance "We can't act as the Avengers, if we did it would turn everything we've worked for against us. The World Security Council would look to be rooted in America, as if they were working with SHIELD. And the Avengers would return to their old image of protecting America instead of the World."

She paused biting her lip "I don't think we should fight this Nick. Sokovia want international candidates, that's what we should give them. Hydra will use their uprising as a cover and strike and be hidden from the rest of the World, everybody else will just see a country fighting for freedom and if we were to deny that then they'd turn on us as well."

"What Sokovia wants is our heads on sticks! I disagree, we can't let this infection grow."

Steve glared at Tony and then turned back to Natasha "If we give them international candidates every Country will want to volunteer someone. This election, which was supposed to finish today! Will be postponed again and again."

Fury agreed with Rogers "And I think everybody has forgotten that America didn't elect Cap and Stark for this, the Council did! The only reason there even is an election is because they're tide, if they weren't none of this would be happening."

Pepper, speaking for the first time, snapped "If the Security Council were really as separated from SHEILD and America as they claim to be they never would have approached Steve in the first place, therefore not involving Tony or the Avengers in this screw-up!"

Fury fired back just as hotly "If Steve wasn't the best qualified for this job then he wouldn't have been approached at all!"

Steve stood to his feet, loosing his patience entirely "I get it! I don't care what you tell me, I don't care how many times you say it's not; THIS IS MY FAULT! All of it, if I wasn't being selfish, none of this would have happened." Several team members butted in but Rogers was on a role "But I want to be selfish, I'm sorry and you will never be able to fathom even a grain of comparison to how much guilt I'm feeling for wanting to be selfish...but that's what I want."

He was staring solely at Natasha now "I know, that defeats the purpose of who I'm meant to be, Captain America" he snarled a bewitched chuckle which chilled Romanoff to the bone "Stark was right, the reason why we fight is so we can end the fight, and go home." His eyes travelled to a shocked Stark.

The only person who even possessed a hair of nerve to speak was Fury "Captain, are you giving up?"

 _Was he?_

That was the question, Rogers didn't feel like he was giving up. He was simply accepting the blame for...everything.

"No."

"Well then Captain, what do you suppose we do?"

To him it was simple, easy, almost too so for his own liking. No, Steve didn't like anything about this. However, he knew if it truly came down to it, they could fix things right? They're the Avengers after all.

"Nothing. We ignore Sokovia, Nick you're right if we respond to their demands we'll have to do so to everybody. The council allowed this election to happen, because they couldn't decide on their own. They're now handing the decision over and Sokovia's just mad that they're not going to be that big a part of the end result, but they still get to vote as well as chose not to if needs be.  
As for the supposed Hydra attack, we will do what we always have; we'll wait for them to make the first move and we'll finish what we started long ago."

The only controversy was Steve's own shadow.

Nick Fury looked as if he were going to applaud Rogers', instead he revealed a sceptical smile and left. As soon as he was gone Sam burst into laughter, hitting Steve's shoulder lightly "Dude, how is it that you managed to make one of the most complicated scenarios look like child's play?" The friends shared a familiar smile before Steve retreated from the room, hoping to catch Fury in the halls.

To his better knowledge, Cap wasn't stunned to see Nick waiting for him outside the door. "Figured you'd have something else to say."

"Why did you come to us?"

"Excuse me?"

"Surely the council could have given you a similar solution."

Fury cocked an eyebrow, not expecting Rogers to go down that route. "Let's just say it would be easier to hear it from you than try to piece it together from them. Is that everything?"

Steve's lack of conversation was the confirmation Fury was waiting for, soon after he fled. Rogers then returned to the still packed conference room, suddenly feeling like, despite stating what they were going to do, nothing had even begun to be unravelled. The tightening concealment was as invading as Wanda's force-fields and twice as unyielding.

Natasha wasn't facing him "So that's our play? A waiting game?" Steve shrugged, knowing she'd be able to feel the movement as he did.  
Everybody seemed to sense the stalking persistence of undisguised and unresolved matters, even if the couple didn't.

Too seconds ago the room had been bursting with overcrowded bodies, now it was leaking with loneliness.


	7. Preparation

Okay, somebody asked me "I thought Romanoff couldn't have kids?" My response being, in Age of Ultron it was clear she can't. However, this is super sperm we're talking about folks, we don't know what could happen...?  
Plus in comics Romanoff and Rogers have a son...James Rogers!

And this is fiction (sadly)

But thank you for the question and if anymore occur, I'll be more than happy to answer! Xx

Ps I don't usually recommend songs to listen to during chapters, however there's a certain song I Love, which would suit this nicely. Especially the chunk were Stark's telling Pietro and Nat what he thinks will happen in the future of the Avengers:

Breathe Again by Sara Bareilles. I suggest going onto Youtube and typing Steve & Natasha Breathe Again and watching!

As expected the slow hum or torture was not silenced after the two week election.

Sokovia was ignored as Steve had suggested and surprisingly each Avenger was called on separate missions to try and target a different area to spread moral support and show the world how the distinction between Avengers, SHIELD and the Security Council was that, a distinction.

It had almost been a month since Steve had been approached by the position and Nat had just returned from a press conference with Thor in England - giving Jane a chance to lay low at home with Thor for a while.  
As soon as the jet landed, Tasha ran, knowing Steve was set to leave for Sokovia in several hours.

She dashed to the elevator, smiling at a lab coat dressed Banner and Wanda - still trying to find new opponents for the witch. Immediately Nat frowned, seeing the full elevator, the stairs would have to do.

She sprinted to the basement, running into the gym.

Steve was sparing with Pietro, whilst Barton was helping Cooper with his archery practice in the corner - secretly of course - Both Laura and Clint had sworn to keep their kids away from SHIELD or any other agency until they were either old enough or forever.  
However Cooper was quickly approaching a steady maturity and was intelligent in so many ways, making Tash sometimes question his parents, he'd managed to piece together enough of the story to know he wasn't meant to be enjoying archery as much as he did.

But he'd been more than eager to learn, and Widow being his favourite aunty new his secret desire to follow in his father's footsteps, though she doubted the Barton's hadn't already guessed that.

Tapping her foot impatiently she waited for the fight to finish, knowing Steve would hate to leave a battle without winning and also how Pietro would mock them mercilessly if Nat dragged him away.  
But with the stress of the on going circumstances, recently her patience - amongst other things - had been wearing thin. Her frown constantly worn, not wishing to waste her smile.

After another five minutes where Natasha noticed Maximoff stringing the fight alone on purpose, Romanoff intervened. Her hands pulling apart the boys and Tasha kicked Steve back a few paces, whilst jumping into the air, her arm hooking over Quicksilver's neck and as she landed hard on the matt he was flung over her shoulder. His regular blue mist sending her vision into a frenzy, but before he could reappear she nudged Steve to the elevator.

She shoved him against the wall, pressing her body against his and kissing him hungrily. His reciprocation was immediate as his hands found the small of her back "I missed you," Steve laughed, receiving an elbow to the groan, "You were barely gone a day." He muttered against her lips.

Not immune to the speeding kiss, Nat paused, teasing him tediously "Did you not miss me?" Rogers went for another kiss, but she pulled back, her fingers hovering in the lop of his belt buckles.

Steve groaned in an ache as she took a step back, slightly smirking as he stuttered "Of course...so much...Nat..." When he saw her smile, he growled "Shut up, Rogers!" snapping and pouncing, spinning her around so she was now pinned against the elevator wall.  
Her laugh danced to the beat of his racing heart.

It was a lucky thing when a cough concluded their hurried attempts at discarding clothing, immediately Romanoff shoved Steve away, who was painted in a blush she knew would continue under the collar of his top.  
She bit her lip spying a flabbergasted Laura, holding a - thankfully sleeping Nate - but her hands lead to the stunned feature of Lila.

Tasha stood as far away from Steve as humanly possible during their return to the lounge, during which Lila sniggered, chuckling in hysteria at the embarrassment she'd never seen painted by Cap onto her Aunt's usually familiar repertoire of facial expressions.

Her laughter caused Steve to surprisingly join in, Natasha beamed when she spotted Lila seeking Cap's hand when they exited the elevator.

Before them was a paused assemble of Stark, standing before a grinning Pepper, a snooping James and laughing Wilson.  
The four turned to see Laura shock-still, holding a snoozing baby, Nat hiding her red cheeks - her hair disturbed in so many non-witnessed ways - and two chuckling children, at least Romanoff swore Rogers sounded as childlike when he laughed as Barton did when drunk.

Lila bounded over to Potts, hugging her warmly. Steve catching up with Wilson and James, whilst Laura returned to her regular calming structure; showing off the baby to Tony.

For several seconds Natasha stood in the realm of utter embarrassment, during which she snarled seeing a sneering and shaking Sam and Bucky, both exploding with laughter.  
Nat's jaw set, storming forwards, her presence disintegrating any former resemblance of laughter or amusement.

Sam's mouth was frozen in place and then he gaped as if to say something, Romanoff glared "Not a word"

Her eyes smothered Steve in a clear symbol of restraint from strangling him, he felt the heat and frustration ebbing off her burning skin. He sighed slowly, risking the lose his arms by entangling them around her stoic stance, she jumped uncontrollably.

He nodded smugly, excusing himself "I should probably go and get ready for Sokovia."

Bucky and Wilson both gave exaggerated prodding nods of agreement, emphasis glimmering off their eyes "Hmm, you go do that."

Steve waved at Lila before departing, making Nat's plan to kick him lessen a bit.

Once in the privacy of the room, she charged. Her arms pushing him backwards and slamming him into a wall. A giddy grin greeted glaring green orbs, her returning smile grim as the image of pain she'd cause him later plucked from her mind and was seeded into her eyes, Cap immediately witnessed the destruction she wished to cause him and tried to ease her anger.

"Nat, come on...it was" Her finger silenced him.

"Don't you dare say funny! Nothing about that was funny" she spat the word as the tangy taste filled her mouth "Nothing!" Steve tried not to smirk, she saw his attempts to keep a straight face and just like that, her anger poured off her as the odour of bitter resent drifted into the air.

She removed her firm hold on him and moved away "You really should get ready" her back turned to him, lighting fast speed invaded through his arm as a reflex was struck; he pulled her back to him, pressing their body's closer.  
She felt the attraction hanging from his body. "I still have, several hours...that's loads of time."

Romanoff snarled, going to correct "You still have to..."

"Finish what you started." Their lips were soft and sweet.

His hands leaving imprints on her hips as her top rode up slightly, revealing a string of flat stomach. Natasha's fingers crept over his trousers, her hands finding comfort in his butt pockets, pushing him closer.

She hummed in approval as he kissed her longer, drawing out the tender taste.

Discarding his t-shirt, Nat let her hands run wild over his bare chest. Not leaving a trace of flesh untouched, her finger nails shifting from scratching to drawing as if their was a switch controlling her movements; if so Rogers was flicking it.  
Subtly Steve moved as if to remove her top, but Nat bit her bottom lip. Shaking her head and glancing at the clock "Sorry Soldier, I'm gonna have to make a rain-check."

Cap forged laughter, believing she was joking. But when Widow turned to the door, he sprang pulling her back for a passionate kiss, cut short by a teasing Romanoff "Wanda's waiting for me, I promised more practice before she left."

Steve growled "Screw Wanda!"

Nat scoffed "Okay...but only on your orders." She smirked against his lips and he bit her lip longingly.

"Not funny, hunny." She grinned from ear to ear, pinching his ass before claiming possession of limbs and trying to move them from her husband.

He followed her to the door, still facing each other. When she stood on the line of the doorway, he kept creeping until their noses touched. Nat leaned her hips into his, everything except their lips touching. His chin moved to capture her lips, hers returning further away, whispering hauntingly "Travel safe!" He closed his eyes expecting a kiss, the build up was a pleasuring pain, numbing all senses.

When nothing happened he opened his eyes to see his wife gone. "Cheeky little minx!" He shut the door, returning to pack before prepping for a long jet ride.

Pietro had his legs crossed on the couch, Nat's arms draped over his shoulders as their eyes were transfixed on the TV screen.  
They both watched, their breaths shallow as their eyes stalked Steve's steady speech.

He stood at a podium, flanked by a pair of rough looking security guards - as if he needed them - however their presence alone put Black Widow on edge.  
He wore a smart, plain black suit and was currently expressing his thoughts on the election, along side him was Director Coulson and several of the President's most trusted representatives.

Romanoff gulped after Steve finished his speech and began answering questions from reporters and the like.  
The hard part was over.

On the other side of the room was Stark, trying not to break his face with the force he was placing behind his scowl. Sokovia was still fumbling through ignorance, because of that the Security Council - who'd selected which Avengers/SHIELD members were attending what Country - had chosen Rogers to go because, he wouldn't necessarily handle things better. However, the Sokovian Civilians would appear more...humble and less hostile.

Though it was exceptionally dangerous, so much so that Nat had made her anger vivid. She was outraged that Steve, Captain America, was being sent to America's biggest enemy currently, with Director Coulson.  
Sure there'd be security guards, but what could they do?

If someone were to attack Steve, they'd do it well. You'd be stupid not to, it would either take sheer force of skill or numbers.

Tasha had at least declared several other Avengers attend with him, so Wanda and Vision had been sent alone as well. Though their whereabouts were secret to the Sokovian population, they were merely there for Romanoff's assurance if anything else.

Dust explaining why she and Pietro were a heap of mumbling sickens, Tash felt awful for causing Scarlet Witch to leave. Not that Wanda was complaining, Widow was thinking more for Quicksilver - who she wasn't necessarily closer to, but all her life Nat's never been a girls' girl. Her targets have mostly been boys, she's worked with men and for them, the majority of her life after the Red Room she has been surrounded by them. Normally you'd expect that to cause her discomfort around them, especially if you knew the jest of her past, but it was familiar. She was comfortable with boys, so her closest friends (not that she wasn't close to Pepper or Jane, Maria or Wanda) mainly consisted of them - they'd barely escaped Sokovia with Ultron.

And now, Natasha had sent his sister back there.

Widow scolded herself, You're being ridiculous!

Tasha would admit, recently she'd been very...challenged to keep her emotions in tow.

Understandable of course, with the current situation, but still she was the Black Widow.

As if sensing the end of the interview before Nat realised, her aching worry loosened it's hold. She moved onto the couch to sit with Pietro, Tony moved from the shadowed fold in the room.  
"So Cap's expected to be back by tomorrow, then?" Stark asked. Romanoff amused herself by chewing the inside of her cheek.

"At earliest, though Coulson said they may have some last minute conferences to attend. A drop by, this is the main on."

Pietro, eyed his friend, nudging her foot under his playfully. "Stark..." there was a lot leaking from that word, before Nat could stop herself she analysed all tones and intentions of Maximoff's slow, subtle and formal voice.  
She could tell instantly this had been on his mind a while and now, he could finally get it off his chest;

When Steve and Wanda, who was siding with Cap, weren't here!  
What did he want to know?

"Wha..what are you going to do if Rogers wins the election?"

Tony wasn't phased by the question, obviously he'd felt the need to fixate on the possibility, therefore, expecting the question, knowing the answer. (If not already, start song!)

"Probably go into rehab." The retort was lonely, its regular companion of humour and the little light of amusement was missing.

Quicksilver wasn't going to stop just because Tony didn't want to expand "Will...will the team split?" This time Nat held his hand.

"No, I could never enforce that or even ask for it and honestly I don't want that. I don't want anybody to be at odds, but do you really want to know what I think will happen if he wins?" Stark's eyes rested on Pietro, he nodded. His eyes moved to Natasha, reluctance held her chin back but a jig downwards was still visible.

"I'll most likely retire, me and Pepper will have our wedding, might even go and elope and then go off the grid. Take a life from Barton's book, speaking of the Hawk; I imagine Clint will return to his family. Possibly move, not trusting his safe house's safety as much. Steve will, unwillingly behold his resent and temporarily step up for the position. The temporariness will no doubt fade into a full time career. Red here" His tone softened "I'm not concerned to place my chips on you maybe stepping up to a future Director position at SHIELD, though I'm sure you've considered and declined the notion already" Romanoff's jaw tightened as a memory was revealed and the reverie fell from the hanger "If not, soon she will."

He paused as Nat braced herself "I'm sorry, but if either of you were too fully fulfil those circumstances and the relationship latest..." he trailed off taking her hand, causing her flinch induced eyes to reopen "I for one would be overjoyed." He tried to smile.  
The worst thing about what Stark had just said; wasn't that he meant no harm by it, that he wished he didn't believe it...No, the worst thing about what Tony Stark had just truthfully told her, was that Natasha believed he was right.

If Steve accepts the position, they both know, the Council will do anything to keep him there. Nat will be left in an abysmal of hatred and clawing for anything she can do, most likely yes, she would accept the position as the head of SHIELD. Her and Rogers' marriage would revolve solely around work.

Even soul mates would struggle to maintain that level of formality.

"Thor, now I imagine the God will eventually chose; Earth or Asgard. Personally, Asgard's a clear winner. I can see him and Foster moving to the palace, rising children that would be gorgeous and intelligent, no child could compare." Romanoff grinned at the image of a mini-Jane or Thor charging around the place, there would not be one fault in even a droplet of blood.

"Banner," Tony's breath was held as an argument erupted in his eyes "I can see Brucie slowly sinking away, not as subtle as he'd wish, but nobody would fight it. After all, when you first approached him it was for a research project, not a life of Avenging..." he sighed "I could imagine Banner settling down in a confusing domestic, maybe falling for...a neglected woman..." Romanoff kept her eyes down, not liking the slow tone of Tony. No.

Stark noticed the sprinting refusal and continued "Rhodey will likely lead the new team, everybody keeping tabs with Romanoff and Rogers, occasionally checking in on the other originals. The torch has been passed and frankly" He addressed Widow as if she were alone "The first of many will soon be a forgotten memory."

Romanoff hid behind her hand, the tear hot and thick, causing her to blush.

The three of them stayed sat silently for hours, unaware of the time passing. Their hands were still joined as they all relished in the pain of Tony's fortune telling skills, honestly Nat felt he'd hit the nail on the dot and that made the truth harder to digest.

The sudden loudness of the TV caused the three to stir, their attentions turning back to the TV screen. It was an image of Steve, smiling and waving, stepping back in the car. He was coming home...

Romanoff smiled, sitting forwards, finally removing their hold of her hands, as she held her own. Her finger twiddling with the rock on her finger, her smile was blindingly beautiful.

Then the bomb went off.


	8. After shock

Romanoff screeched to a halt.

The screen before them erupted into chaos, the camera shock dizzyingly. It was the weirdest comparison, her eyes were witnessing the revolving, spinning, twisting, turning sensation of a sickening rollercoaster ride. However just outside the screen, everything was paralyzed in stillness, Tash didn't dare breath for fear she'd cause another explosion.

Next to her Stark didn't possess that concern, he sprang forwards yelling "FRIDAY give me the drill!"

"It seems a bomb was set off on Thursday 6th..."

Pietro had been like Natasha, still as a statue, but suddenly broke out of it. Screaming "You think!" at the useless AI.

Nat was still glued to the spot, her eyes not even blinking. How...how could something so destructive happen there? And yet here, everything was as calm as it had been mere seconds ago.  
If it weren't for the TV, Nat wouldn't have even known this happened and she wouldn't of until he returned.

That thought alone shook her to her core and her eyes immediately returned to the footage, the camera man was shaking extensively. Not focusing on one thing, just trying to survive probably.

"Go back." Her voice was tiny in the panic both men were causing, they didn't hear her.

The fact that Barton or whoever could be up on the roof at this precise moment and have no idea that three of their Avengers were possibly injured or worse, was painfully piercing.

She moved past the impaling thoughts and repeated her demand, louder. "Go back." Stark looked at her, not understanding for a moment. Then FRIDAY rewind the footage, to the exact moment the bomb went off.  
For the shortest moment you saw Steve diving from the side of the car, What the hell was he doing? He just left his cover!

Pietro voiced Romanoff's doubts "What is he doing?"

"No doubt saving some pour binboo!" Her tone laced with annoyance and false amusement.

Stark ran to the elevator, no doubt trying to communicate with Coulson or somebody to see what the hell was going on.  
Meanwhile Widow chased her suit, purposing her room. Quicksilver's fingers held her in place "Where you going?"

She cocked an eyebrow "To save my husband's ass."

Barton dropped from a ceiling tile "You can't, it would just endanger yourself and..."

"I don't give a flying rat's ass, Clint I'm going."

Both boys blocked the passage "Steve would never forgive us if we let you go."

"Is that really our biggest concern right now?" Nat exasperated, pointing to the screen.  
Right then the elevator door pinged open and a weight-shifting Pepper walked towards the three observers. "Nat, can I talk to you?"

"Not now, Pepper, no."

Potts didn't budge "Fine" instead she grabbed Nat's arm and pulled her towards the elevator. Widow was too surprised with the firmness of Pepper's grip and the furious tone she'd used on somebody, besides Stark.

As a last thought Widow ordered "I want you on the phone to Fury and Hill now, find out what the hell is going on and if something happens I'm gonn..." the doors shut before Barton and Pietro could hear the reminder of her sentence, thankfully.

Inside the lift, Nat bit her lip, her fists clenched and eyed Potts.  
Pepper clearly knew what was going on, but the worry conveyed in her expression was pinpointed for something else, but the spy couldn't be asked to interrogate, Potts would explain soon enough.

The journey in the elevator was fairly short and Nat only found herself admitting to one thing "I'm going to kill Steve."

Debris surrounds Wanda, trapping her in a cage of destruction.

Screams fill her skull, vibrating her bones until it stings. A pushing weight on her chest suddenly lifts as she floods her powers out of the vase that is her body.  
The red spirals crash as waves of energy shift over the top of the vase, splashing the tips of rose petals from the flowers inside; protecting all of the stem.

The downside to this was that there was now little energy left in the vase, less for the flower of Wanda to feed off of.

Her eyes snapped into focus, from the car she'd currently been filing into with Vision, Steve leading, a fire was burning wildly. Behind her were rushed and odd patterned footsteps, limping?

She surveyed the crowd and spotted Vision not far away, ducking whilst Rogers just finished covering somebody from the fire. In the distance hot, black smoke was rising from a too near building.  
Wanda ran to Cap, grabbing his arm to hold him still. Steve muttered "Wanda, we need to help them."

She shook her head "And make ourselves more vulnerable? Nahha, we need to find the Director..." Vision appeared beside them, slipping his hand into Wanda's.

"We need to go." He voiced.

Steve was stoic "No, I'm not leaving them."

"Steve, they're compelling to your nature. We have to leave" She tried to force movement into his veins, but she was too weak. In the distance she spied an impatient Coulson motioning for them to go, now.

Rogers growled "Who is? By any chance do you think this was an accident?"

Wanda snapped, a side Cap hadn't seen before "It's a bomb Steve, not something your day to day civilian carries around in their purse. NOW GO!"

This time Cap obeyed and followed the running figures, they were soon ushered into a jet and started to return home.

"I'm sorry about that, I needed to get you alone." Pepper sat twitching in the seat opposite Nat's, they were in front of Potts' desk. Sitting behind it would have made this too formal, after all they were friends, good friends.

"What's going on?" Nat asked, quietly sensing the knife coming her way.

Tasha longed to just get this over with and return to securing her husbands safety, but this was clearly important.

"Well er...I went to see my gynaecologist the other day due to a few missed periods..." she was clearly embarrassed by the subject but like the soldier she was she fought on.

Romanoff's heart quickened "Peps, are you pregnant?"

Relief tinted in Pepper's eyes "God no!"

Romanoff sighed in...relief? She couldn't label it.

"No...no, no. Not yet at least, well I mean...you know." She stammered. "Now's not the time for us, anyway...

"Um, so yes I went for an appointment to my gynaecologist just to check on things"

Nat interrupted "Everything's good, right?"

She nodded stiffly "Yes, it was just my busy schedule and the recent stress. But um...on my way home, I ran into your and Steve's obstetrician." The one Stark had paid for; made sense for Potts to know him.

"He mentioned that you've missed a few of your latest appointments." Romanoff's heart flickered. Shit!

"Right, yeah. I completely forget, with everything going on..."

"It's understandable, but um...well your blood test is back, you know the one you did...I think it was the 23rd of July..."

Nat nodded "Yeah Thursday 23rd, 2 weeks ago."

Pepper stiffened "Well uh, he only told me this, because well he's been a family friend for years and he asked why I was there and...when he heard about the stress and mentioned you not coming in...and you likely not having time to and"

"Pepper!"

She blurted out "You're pregnant!"

Boom.

A bomb had just been dropped on her.

"What?" Tasha muttered.

Pepper was racing ahead "Sorry! And...I know I shouldn't be telling you, but...with everything going on..."

Nat shoved away her apologies, standing up drastically and began pacing. She...she was pregnant?

"How...how far along am I?" She asked, things falling into place rapidly.

Pepper swallowed hard "About three weeks..." Romanoff's head ducked, like a reflex.

In her mind she counted back three weeks: Today was Thursday 6th of August...three weeks ago...Thursday 16th of July...The day the election began, when Tony had given that press tour, Nat had just gotten back from Laura's and when Steve and her had gone to the tower...they'd fought, which evolved to other means of anger release...that had resulted in...a baby!

Romanoff felt warmth spread to her cheeks, turning back to Pepper "I'm pregnant?" her voice was a pitch Romanoff hadn't known she could reach.

Potts eyes glimmered in the light, nodding. Nat squealed and instantly both women jumped towards each other and hugged tightly.

Everything began to fall into place: Widow's wavering moods, the extra emotion she'd put down to the stress of the situation, the enhanced senses; smelling Barton's alcohol so strongly she almost gagged, always breathing in Steve's scent...it all made sense.

"You haven't told anybody?" Nat snarled.

Potts shook her head firmly "Just you!"

The smile dampened and it dawned on Tasha; Steve had just been bombed. "We have to go and find Steve!"

Both women arrived at the lounge, looking for the other Avengers. All except: Thor, Steve, Vision and Wanda were present. Before Widow could accuse Tony of slacking off he reassured her "They're on their way back in a jet now, not one hair out of place I promise." Nat smiled.

She walked to Barton, desperate to tell him; but Steve had to know first. "How long will they be?"

Stark narrowed his eyes at his lack of a watch on his arm, "Not long, now."

Several hours later the jet landed and soon all Avengers, bar Thor, were reunited. Nat ran to Steve, he opened his arms expecting a hug but she greeted him with a slap instead.  
"What the hell were you thinking!" Steve covered his head, "Nat, I didn't drop the bomb."

"I knew something would happen!" She spat, behind her Clint laughed and Widow turned on him.

Their reunion was cut short by an arrival from Nick Fury and Director Coulson, both stood in front of the team, staring down like they bore the burden of bad news on their skin.

Stark started "What now?"

Fury muttered "We believe the bomb was a distraction from Hydra, attempting to bring Cap to helping civilians and then turning on him." To the right of Tasha Wanda glared knowingly ahead.

Coulson continued "They're attacking a lot sooner than we anticipated, they're desperate and pretty soon they may even turn on their own people."

Wilson's eyebrows knitted together "Why?"

Steve sighed "I was expecting harsher comments and questions, people to be openly disagreeing with my presence alone. Quite a lot of the public showed support and that means Hydra's losing their cover of an enraged country. If they lost it completely they would be completely exposed and therefore would lose the possibility of further help from other countries."

Nick stepped forwards "I'm sending you in."

Widow's retort was sharp "You're sending us in?" her eyes snapping to Coulson "What's your call Phil." The Director looked at her with the upmost respect "Doesn't matter, this is too big for one person."

Bucky joined Nat's side "Aren't you the Director? What decision is too big?"

Fury butted in "Doesn't matter, it's not even my call. The Council have reached a decision..."

Stark rolled his eyes "Oh, they're actually capable of doing that are they?"

Barton stepped forwards "Besides, wasn't the entire point of this press conference so we'd show the division between SHIELD, the Council and the Avengers? And now we're back to taking orders..."

Steve assured him "Nobody's taking orders, if Coulson's right and Hydra does attack we'd be stepping in anyway."

Fury continued "The Council made this call, but they've also put the election to bed. They feel they were stupid for even going alone with it anyway," Steve's fist clenched besides Nat, though she couldn't help but agree; Look at all the trouble it caused.

Phil looked at Nick with a glint of pure anger, something wasn't right. "The council have decided that Stark will take the position" Nick stated. Disbelief pounded in Tony's veins as he jumped up and down in joy, Pepper sunk further into the floor whilst Nat didn't allow herself to feel anything.

She turned to Coulson "Phil?"

He interjected calmly "However, the public voted Rogers."

Now everybody took a step forwards, Rhodey muttered "Surely the Council's word is above theirs?"

Wanda frowned "But if they're ignoring it, then the people will retaliate. They would have just overridden a public decision,"

Nat barked "Who the hell is getting it?"

Nick paused "The council want to..."

She shouted "Yes, we know that. Are they still going with that decision?" for the first time, Widow actually felt like there was something in her stomach, though she hadn't felt movement. She knew it was there and that was enough.

Before either could answer a beeping sound filled the room, Pietro joked "It's not a bomb is it?" causing his sister to face palm and Nat to raise her eyebrow, because that's just what we need.

Both informative men pulled out their varies devices and frowned, mirroring each other's actions. "Suit up, be in the jet in 5 minutes." Coulson yelled, immediately the team scattered.  
Pietro grabbing Wanda in his arms and sprinting, Barton chided "Show off!" then he turned back to Coulson "Where are we going?"

"Sokovia."

Quinjets were big enough, for 6 people - though Thor hadn't arrived yet.

Add on 6 more and you've got a very cramp space, flying the jet was Wilson and Barton with Bucky chilling besides them. In the passage was Rhodey, Vision and Banner. The middle was filled with the Maximoff twins and Nat and at the back, talking 'battle plans' was Stark and Steve.  
Every now and then Romanoff would get a snippet of the conversation and things were heating up again.

"What the hell are you doing? The last thing we need is for you lot to be fighting now."

"We're not!" Tony snapped, whereas Steve eyed her angrily. Biting his bottom lip, the scar of sharp lines in between his brows, his cheeks a dark red.

"Yes we are Stark!" Steve snapped.

"Jesus Christ! Rogers not everything goes your way!"

"Coming from you?"

"Yes, coming from me! You should know, you've played a big part in making sure I don't get what I want."

"I'm not talking about this again, Tony."

"Oh sure! Well then I better stop, shant I? Wouldn't want to get on your wick, good old Captain!" he muttered under his breath "Coward!"

Steve spun on his previously turning heel "Fine, you wanna talk let's talk!"

For an iconic moment neither said anything until Stark chuckled "Caving so easily? I must scare you." They began circling each other.

"I'll admit there's something fairly intimidating about a man who can get whatever he wishes by a tantrum."

Things were turning sour by the second.

"Surely I must be quite intimidating for them to allow me to have such a chance just because of a tantrum: I pay their bills, I run half of their facilities...I have a bigger hand in this than you ever will!"

"And yet I still won, you know why? Because I have the people!"

Tony ignored the question "Oh really because the Council wants me!"

Steve ignored the response "We both know the only reason they voted for you was because they need your money."

"Aha! You admit they need me."

"Yes, they need you as their bank. That way they've stabilized their future expenses and can still fumble around fighting over the right thing to do, you won't help them with that."

The Avengers heard the whole thing and finally Rhodey snapped "Nat aren't you going to stop them?"

Widow turned, still hearing Tony and Rogers arguing behind her. "Why should I stop them, James?" Using his first name caused Bucky to move into the middle of the Quinjet, Nat felt securer knowing she had back-up.

Rhodey stammered "You're his wife."

Barnes stepped behind him "Well if that's your logic why don't you stop Tony, you're technically his wife."

Rhodey laughed and Pietro stood despite Wanda attempting to bring him back down "Let's just say Tony isn't as...lenient as Rogers, less puppy like...you know he has his own brain, can make his own decisions."

Wilson chided over the microphone "Well look where that got him."

Surprisingly Banner mouthed "Yeah, about a billion buckets richer than you."

Nat gaped at the Doctor as James noted, swiftly flicking the switch to extra brightness on the exaggeration dial. "Ohooho! Look whose' changing shades, we better make sure you don't whip out another race." He pointed to Bruce "We better watch this one, boys."

Steve stepped forwards "Buck, relax."

Rhodey muttered under his breath "Listen to the dog."

Barton snarled "Have you got a problem Rhodes?"

Romanoff was getting impatient "Of course he does, that's why he's here."

Tony turned towards her, accusing "Whose side are you on, Red?"

Tasha felt all eyes on her, she sank further into herself "No ones." her voice closing inwards.

Rhodey whispered to Stark "You see I told you." The boys nodded, Wanda stood next to Natasha, defending her friend when Tash was feeling weak "What's that?" The witch's voice filled with darkness.

Tony rebounded "Just stating that our little assassin is losing her brightness."

Rhodey commented "Told you it would turn out that way."

Romanoff's fire returned and she moved to single out the man "What way would that be?"

Tony muttered behind her "You're moulding, you're decisions becoming his. He's changing you Tasha."

Steve spat in a harsh defence which Romanoff knew was in the wrong context "For the better."

Pietro glared overwhelmingly "Oh, I'm sorry are we not allowed our own demons? Do we all have to be perfect?"

Wanda moved to defend her friend, "He just means he's helping her with her pas..." Shockingly Quicksilver raised his hand, meaning to silence Scarlet Witch. The twins shared their first proper disbud, shouting at each other with silent stares.  
Nat turned back to Rhodey and Stark "What else is the Captain pressuring you for? What else don't you want?" His eyes flickered to her stomach slightly and he opened his mouth, Romanoff saw doubt and dread building behind his eyes, but somehow he couldn't hold his tongue; bad news for him.

"Is that why you're trying for a baby?"

Several things happened at once: immediately Tony tried griping the air, trying to pull back the words he'd accidently let fall, Bucky charged as if to kill and Vision who'd remained quiet moved to block him, he wasn't doing that well a job though so Banner attempted to aid. But Wanda acted as if to hold him back, resulting in Bruce turning for a familiar head lock, however the Witch flipped him over her shoulder, Rhodes spied Cap practically sprinting and went to keep him away from Tony which needed Pietro's help.

However Nat made the boldest move, she shoved Stark against the wall, the force tipping the jet slightly, her fingers clasping into Tony's neck as he attempted to fight back. She was squeezing, images flashing across her vision, he was gasping trying to mutter an apology.  
State that he didn't mean it.

But it was too late, suddenly a thud caused the team to flinch and Barton and Wilson, who had been attempting to unplug their seat belts to aid their friends opened the back of the jet and Thor flew in.  
He appeared massively disgruntled and unsurprised by the fighting stances, he went to Natasha first. Just his presence caused her hold to dampen.

Gently his fingers shadowed hers and her grip was removed, that was the beginning of the journey, there after everybody else's fighting moves untied until you had the two pilots up front, then two opposite lines down the middle of the jet - Tasha still on Tony's side though her eyes stayed fixated with her boots - and a glooming Thor at the rear, standing as if a middle-school teacher.

"I'm disappointed." His voice a thousand times louder and wisdom felt than ever before. "We are meant to be a team, instead we stand here; hurting and teasing each other until breaking point."  
Up front you could practically hear Clint's hurry to untangle himself and claim he didn't do anything, at which point Thor included "Or we seat back and watch." into his eye-opening confrontation.

As if wishing he didn't have to interrupt the lecture, Wilson coughed lightly. "Uh, we're landing now." Thor nodded warmly and then once he moved to strap into a seat everybody else followed, Romanoff and Rogers stood because there weren't enough seats and they'd experienced enough of Barton's drunk flying to be able to handle the worst of his sober.

But they held onto the bars spread along the ceiling for good measure, the flight down was very bumpy and from up front you could hear Clint's grimaces at the close calls and the muffled swearing.  
Outside the gun fire and explosions were muted, but you could definitely tell we were being shot at. What was going on out there?

One side turn had Steve using both arms as he was hanging horizontally, whilst Thor wrapped an arm around Nat's waist so she was secure when Cap motioned to Tasha straining, everybody else in the quinjet squealed and tried to concentrate on not vomiting.  
Up front Sam was being the worst commentator you'd ever have, every sharp turn or quick dodge that the team hadn't felt was imagined when he repeatedly swore, whooped and whaled at Clint's expert flying.

Soon it was touch down and all Avengers scattered, when they abandoned the jet they saw they were on a roof and below them was utter chaos. Phil had been right, Hydra was attacking their own people; but it wasn't just men in suits with guns, they had a few more tricks up their sleeves.


	9. Battlefield

**As you can probably guess the theme song for this chapter would be** Battlefield **the version I'm referring to is on Youtube. Just search** Captain America - Black Widow Battlefield.

 **And I'm also sad to report I'm back at school today, so updates will be as consistent as I can make them. (Hopefully one each and/or every other day)**  
 **Review please Xx**

Smoke surrounded the battle, circling it and trapping victims, villains and heroes in its midst.  
The thick and heavy gas temporarily blinded Widow as she ran for the screams filling her skull, she could feel it crawling into her throat, making her gag and cough excessively.  
Her hurry and mild hesitation to enter the fog only came from the baby, otherwise she would have dived forwards, not wasting a second. But breathing in the smoke was bad enough for her, however Nat spent the majority of her battle preparation fighting and dealing with the consequences after.

What the hell was she talking about? Of course smoke wasn't good for a child, but neither was going into battle...

But it was too late and she was very early on...which meant it would be less painful if she lost the child...but also so much more because what would be the point in telling Steve she was pregnant only to steal that away from him?  
Then he would no doubt suffocate himself in work...

No. Both thoughts were to insoluble to digest now, she gasped at the clean air quickly filling her lungs when she passed through the sticky clouds.

Once on the inner side of that circle she saw bright lights, making her eyes ache. Widow turned to the screaming, three kids and a helpless mother, ducking behind a car as blasts of fire burnt their surroundings, though the aim was approaching.

Despite Romanoff's hopes that Hydra would have postponed any severe experimentation whilst they were fading into an ibis of invisibility, Tasha knew it was too much to ask.  
The latest weaponry was something, the protecting armour made the person within it as bulky as Thor and almost as strong as him. The armour reminded Widow of Crossbones, however that was just the usual soldiers.  
The unusual ones hadn't been seen by the spider, however the Falcon had just reported a shifty sighting.

Black Widow unleashed her bites, throwing three at the nearing soldier, whose attention turned to her. Nat beckoned for the family to run, they followed instruction effective immediately.  
Two of her bites were jammed in the armour, occasionally causing electricity to spasm the soldier, whilst the third had created a smaller bubble of gas, Romanoff took advantage of his blindness.  
Her legs wrapped around his throat, though the armour was stopping her from giving any series damage.

However, being given the extra strength threw her slightly, literally her body was dropped to the ground.  
Widow whipped away a trail of blood from her forehead, smirking slightly.

She then charged at him, the soldier doing the same and at the last second Widow tucked into a roll, diving between his legs and whilst his back was turned she tackled him, shoving him into the ground, his armour helping her weigh him down.  
She kicked him hard in the helmet allowing the protection to squash his head; it would be a mess in there...

Behind her Nat heard the shooting sound pattern the ground to her left, dust flying into the air. Immediately the Falcon dropped besides her, a Hydra jet close behind, shooting wildly.  
Sam's hands wrapped around her hips, Widow's fingers shadowing his and they flew into the air, Nat clingy slightly until she was dropped several feet away, tucking into a roll and straight away standing to fling a sprinting soldier into the ground, whilst said soldier tried to make order out of a kickass Widow falling from the sky and taking him down.  
Behind her Barton was gliding elegantly from soldier to soldier, arrows burning, caging, trapping, torturing with every move the shot soldier would attempt.

Soon all Avengers had their backs to each other, they had no idea how but the soldiers just kept coming. Behind her Widow heard a fair amount of commotion and she turned to see Stark blatantly ignoring orders. Is now really the time?

Nat tensed as she felt a sharp pain in her thigh, currently being shoved into the ground Tash realised the wound she'd recently received. Whilst Romanoff handled the goon wrestling her, the oncoming attack was going to be a bit of a surprise.  
Exhaustion was building in her veins, this never usually happened so early on...is it a side effect from the pregnancy? Saving her ass, Pietro appeared throwing and disarming men at such a speed their limbs were likely being torn.

Just when the beam of a thruster heated her skin, it wasn't a direct touch but it was close enough for discomfort. Widow turned when she was positive her teammates had her back, thinking Tony had aimed for her; hoping - for his sake - he'd slipped and almost hit her by accident.

But what she saw was that Stark had taken an obvious blow, his back hadn't been probably covered, Widow's eyes pointed to Rogers who had probably been less likely to defend him.  
As payback, Tony had hit Steve with a lazar beam.

Rogers looked fine, thank goodness, however, Steve had witnessed it almost hitting his wife and now he was fuming. Fire burned for a thousand years in the frozen eyes of her husband, a fire so piercing that the sheering ice was so hot, it was impaling.

He chucked his shield and the two began fighting each other, Widow ran but just as she attempted to give them more than a bash in the heads, Hydra's real game master came to play.  
The ground shook as a shadow darkened Nat's view, she turned immediately, before her was a monster she'd never before seen:  
It was tall and dark, muscles popping from the taut layer of skin, not a sliver of flesh or a grain of fat see able to the eye. Wearing a suit that would put Iron Man to shame, of course with the huge amount of metal covering all skin it was impossible for Widow to recognise or even imagine a face behind the mask...for all she knew, this thing wasn't human.

With the shock of such darkness threatening to kill her just by a glimpse of his shadow, and her husband fighting his own teammate instead of the attacking Hydra goons, the last thing on Romanoff's mind was self defence.

Now Nat knew she was tiny, and Steve could easily lift her as if she were a child, but this...machine plucked her as if she were a petal, hand grasping her throat.

Natasha stared in horror as she desperately tried her old tricks: kicking the hand wasn't an option; he positioned her too far away from his body, her legs couldn't reach, neither was using his weight against him, her toes were metres off the floor, nothing for even a sway, he'd already proved her lack of weight, no swinging of the hips would get this dude to budge.

Coming to the rescue, Widow couldn't decide between stupidly or bravely, was Wanda who pounded against him with all her strength and when his suit displayed not even a tint of being touched Scarlet Witch turned to Nat and somehow managed to drag her body away, the machine's hand scratching against her neck and Tash immediately had to replace his touch with her to keep her throat from closing inwards and choking her.

But whilst Nat recovered lifelessly in the shade the machine rebounded on Maximoff, Wanda's powers had no effect on him and Scarlet Witch was left to her physical skills.  
Natasha attempted to join and aid but every breath felt like a knew knife wound, so Widow could only sit in fear.

Yes, Scarlet Witch could defend herself, could even land a few punches on Natasha, but if the famous Black Widow was no match physically for the machine, than Wanda Maximoff had no chance.

Black Widow winced and cursed aloud when Maximoff was knocked off her feet, her yell finally beckoning the other team members, who'd somehow been previously distracted; Thor flew to the machine, taking him for a more balanced battle whilst Vision concentrated on catching Wanda. He paused, turning to Nat once the Witch was in his arms, asking for instructions "Get her out of here!" Tash couldn't keep the protective nature from shinning through like a blow torch.

Quicksilver suddenly appeared, as beaten and blooded - maybe more so? - as everybody else. His arms rested on Widow, checking she was okay. Nat struggled but when she saw a spark dance off a dirty covered shield she found the will to fight.  
Pietro still helped her to her feet and with a shaky finger, despite the sudden stability pounding in her chest, Nat pointed out the still battling Steve and Tony. Maximoff vanished immediately and then the pair were separated in a trail of blue dust, just when Natasha was running towards them to once again pursue bashing their heads in...she was knocked down, by another body.

She managed to turn her head and saw Bucky lying limply next to her. She scattered to him, "Buck!" she yelled, shaking him.  
When there was no response she screamed his name, hitting him square on in the chest, her roars of rage were heard from miles away and Steve was - somehow still - within those miles.

He began sprinting, however in order to do so he'd have to pass Tony and Stark tried to hold him back, seeing an oncoming attack from the Machine who had finished Thor like a roast dinner.  
But Steve didn't stop, he kept running and from this angle it appeared he was going to tackle Tony, but he was really racing to James...

The decisiveness was radiating off Stark's body, he could either stop Rogers by...what? Holding him wouldn't be enough strength...  
But if he didn't Steve would get swept up by the crushing weight of the Machine...

Tony did the only thing he could think of, he attacked.

A blast blinded Black Widow as she crouched over Bucky, watching Steve and Stark. When the piercing light began to darken she witnessed Steve's body being pushed backwards, he kept flying until he hit a brick wall, his head snapping backwards and straight away blood stained his hair.  
His eyes closed for a second that appeared to never end as Romanoff left a stirring Barnes - he wasn't dead! - running for Steve, during which Falcon flew from Machine's grasp, grabbing Nat, the pair were then squatted flies as the Machine knocked them down.

Sam rolling to the left, Tasha flying towards the same brick wall Steve was still laying against weakly, his eyes fluttering open when he saw a mane of red.

However his attention was then taken as Machine returned to finish off the deal...

Nat's eyelids were heavy to hold open, all she wanted to do was shut that and the rest of the world off.

But the shouting kept her awake, in the distance the repetitive anxiety coming from her comm filled the spy with dread. She managed to open her eyes long enough to take in the scene before her; Machine had reappeared...seriously?

He was giving Steve a beating.

Nat sprang forwards only to be shoved back down by her own aching body, the remaining Hydra soldiers had caved around the two co-leaders, however their jobs involved that of keeping the other Avengers out, any team member who managed to break through though, was instantly knocked back by Machine, who was kicking, punching, pulling...using everything within reach to hurt and torture Steve.

Natasha tried to rush forwards but was pushed back down by Machine, she was even convinced he'd done it lightly and yet it still stung.  
On any other mission or circumstance Widow would be back up...but she'd already endangered the baby...this was when she'd officially, once and for all get broken.

When Hydra made her chose between her husband and child, even to utter such a statement, even to herself pained the woman.

Hydra had finally pulled ahead once again and they hadn't even realised...

Nat was sobbing incredulously, and just like that things were beginning to dial down somehow. More Avengers were breaking through the gaps, splashes of red catching Nat's vision, she'd assumed blood...but Wanda!  
Hope glimmered in the light and suddenly all Avengers were through with the soldiers, they stopped dead upon seeing Romanoff and Rogers. However the Machine had finished with Rogers.

It would take all Avengers to take down him, and since they were two down they'd be occupied completely. For now Widow and Cap were still alone...

Steve screamed. The pain was unbearable, he felt like his heart had been torn in two, like the world was ending, like the oxygen was being sucked from the air. He was drowning, drowning in air.  
He fell forward, blood changing the colour of his vision, thick hot tears flooded over the bridge of his eyes. His heart had been ripped in half and now it was being pulled from his body, through his throat.

He screamed and immediately she was there, running for him, crying and running and sprinting and sobbing. Suddenly she collided against him as another scream was torn from his lungs. His soul was being pulled from him and the sharp bitter sting was a constant buzzing in his ears. She was on the floor, pulling his head into her chest, the top of his body resting in her lap.

Her fingers instantly soothed away any clawing nails against the outside of his head. Hot streams dripped onto his skin from her eyes, he kept screaming. The pain was unbearable, shuddering and shivering; he was so cold.  
So much so that it didn't feel like a temperature, it felt like a weapon of torture, it felt like a lack of oxygen and a bitter dagger to every nerve in his body. Their bodies were rocking backwards and she was sobbing hysterically, singing a lullaby.

It was barely a whisper, and it came from a broken heart.  
His screams turned into endless moans which began the backing crack to her rhythmic lyrics of Russian and groans of never ending sobbing.

He needed the release; she was that release.

But still every pain he felt was transported into her body as Natasha began screaming; screaming his name. Like it was a barraging chip, like it was a threat and a promise, a warning and miracle. Like it could save her.

He no longer felt the pain, everything was numb even his hearing and soon that vanished, he knew his vision was going too. All he wanted to do was yell her name; anything to steal her attention from the pain spamming her body.

But his lips were frozen as the groan stopped groaning. His vision became blurred as her shattered exterior blasted out of focus. All he saw was a bloom of peachy skin and a petal of red.

Red blood; his blood; her blood.

It was the same thing, it had mixed, it was blood.

Everybody's blood, the blood that kept people alive. A small piece of the body of the world and it was leaking, vanishing...there was a leak and this bleeding was inside his heart.

It was internal and the pain would give meaning to the one word that could never be associated with humans ... The pain was eternal


	10. present day

**Sorry this took soooo long, but stuff has been getting in the way. Sorry not proof read, just want to continue with this story as best as I can!  
We're back to present day now! Xx  
**

 _Blurry spotlights blinded the spy temporarily._  
 _A buzzing roar nagged at her ear, firmly Romanoff shook it off. She was moving, her eyes blinking uncontrollably._  
 _Where was she?_  
 _As Natasha continued down the spotting lights she contemplated her surroundings, she could only see above; the contrast off bright lights and then a shadowed patch made red dots appear before her._  
 _She couldn't look to the left or the right, Widow tried but a groan sounded from a distance, stopping her from moving her neck. She was still moving, and the sound of rushed footsteps beside her jammed her system with nerves. She was flying, in the sky and the harsh tints of white were the stars..._

 _Another distant groan bounced against her tightening skull, she was the one groaning._

 _Suddenly in the space of 2 seconds it all flooded back to her, too quickly Tasha was drowning in the anguishing memories:_

 _"You Coward!"  
Screams splitting her skull, ducking behind cover as an explosion rocked the land beneath her feet, she flew backwards.  
Red sparks trapped the Widow in a web.  
"Be honest with me...do you really want this? Want this? Want this?" Sobbing sounds ran around her ear drum, the beat was so repetitive Romanoff couldn't stop the sound, it didn't leave. It just got quieter until it, like everything else, faded into an ibis of numbness._  
 _"HEY! I thought we were together!"  
"You're got a lot of nerve..."  
Crumbling bricks banged against hollow bodies, gas clung to her suit like a bad odour._  
 _"STEVE!"_

 _"Huh!" Natasha gasped, suddenly her blurred vision sorted the puzzle into the correct order, the dashing lights stopped assaulting the disorientated spy. She sprang forward; she was being strolled on a gurney, not flying._  
 _The hurried footsteps were featuring unlinked lines of conversation "We need to get her to the operating room."_  
 _"Did you see that other guy?"_  
 _"No..what happened?"_  
 _"Is that Tony Stark!"_

 _Nat spun her eyes adjusting and the nurses and doctors surrounding her took note of her suddenly stirred state. "Miss please sit down!" Romanoff ignored the crude woman; she always struggled to follow orders._

 _Romanoff stumbled forwards, her feet feeling weightless and foreign, like her entire body was asleep. Her numb fingers were shaking as she reached for Stark, her hands heavy and stiff; how do you work these things again?_

 _Tony started upon seeing Tasha's shuddering figure, immediately Stark panicked and fell backwards, crashing to the floor. He began crying hysterically; it hurt to watch._  
 _She felt a plug in her memory, had she hit her head?_  
 _Something wasn't adding up..._  
 _"Stark...what's wrong...how did we get here?"_

 _His face suddenly became blurry as her own tears subconsciously formed and began pouring; it was like her body knew what had happened and her mind was waiting to catch up. Instantly big hands gripped Romanoff's shoulders; Pietro, she thought as a sliver of silver flashed in her vision and Pepper rushed to Tony's side. But Romanoff and Stark never broke eye contact, despite the numerous patients and family and doctors who stepped between the distancing figures._

 _Natasha sobbed and collapsed, letting Maximoff support her completely as she heard Stark's overwhelming roar "I didn't mean it! I NEVER MEANT TO HURT HIM..."_  
 _This time her vision went blank and the sounds began to sink into the river of silence, the last things she heard were combined of clawing breath, muffled sobs, meaningless assurances and one word: "Steve."_

 **Present day**

It took a number of sedatives to Keep Widow from attacking the medical staff and returning to her husband's side.

Steve Rogers had been through a lot, but what that...thing had done was overwhelmingly painful to hear, agonising to describe and - despite the other Avengers having their own run ins with the Machine - unimaginably murderous.  
Natasha felt sick just picturing Steve's face; beaten and blooded, his surface covered in as many patches as a cow, blood sticking to him and hiding his skin.

Romanoff was now awake, heavily drugged and therefore too dizzy and woozy to see straight let alone attempt to be by Rogers' side.

Her present companion was Pepper Potts, though Natasha knew Pepper would much rather be checking on Tony; Potts felt obliged sympathising with what Nat was going through and informing the medical staff about Romanoff's pregnancy.

Luckily a miracle had been bestowed onto the woman, the baby was fine.

Natasha wished however that the flooding miracle had washed over Rogers' instead, as much as they craved a baby...Nat knew she would not be able to raise this child without Steve.  
The idea brought tears to her stinging eyes and Pepper handed her a tissue tenderly whilst the spy half-heartedly concealed her sobs.

"When can I see him?"

Pepper didn't know, though she'd asked many times. Steve had been rushed straight into surgery and Potts knew one thing; it wasn't looking good.  
Though Cap's body healed insanely quicker than average, there was something about that suit: the one the Machine had used to break Steve, that affected the regular process.

Pepper took her hand "I don't know, Tash...I wish I did."  
Widow bit her bottom lip as the her hospital door swung open and a white faced Clint Barton sprinted in, a group of irritating nurses yelling that he couldn't go in.

He embraced Natasha immediately whilst scanning her with his eyes, Nat did the same, not at all surprised to see little to no out of the ordinary injuries - despite Clint being the most...clumsy Avenger and the most prone to injuries on _easy_ missions, during the main battles, he remained untouched almost -

Natasha pushed him away, her tone and eyebrows hitching to frightening heights of venom "Steve!"

Barton attempted humour which was luckily - for him - ignored "My name's Clint!" after noticing the disapproving shake of the head, his false concern was replaced with a mixture of wanting to tell his best friend the truth and kept her as positive as could be.  
"He's still in surgery, but he should be getting out soon."

Widow had a shaking stillness in her eyes, of stunned shock, silence and a dash of panic "He _shouldn't_ have been touched at all! This is...this is all my fault, I should have never..."

Clint cut her off as much to Potts' dismay, delivering the correct amount of crudeness to bring her to her senses but not shove back into familiar territory. "Should have what? Nat there's nothing you could have done to prevent that from happening, we all know if it had been you Steve would have battled that thing to the death!"

"If it had been me Steve wouldn't have let it go so far! He's stronger than me, better...I could have done more." Nat's voice cutting through air.

Pepper interjected "Natasha, you're right. You _could_ have done more, but you _shouldn't_ have. Steve would have been furious if he knew you'd sacrificed yourself and the baby-" Potts stopped abruptly, clenching her teeth together as realisation of her slip up taunted her.

Both women turned to look at a crossed armed Barton, who wore the same expression of stern bemusement...and then it sank in.  
You saw the light bulb brighten and the wheels beginning their destination.

"You're...You're pregnant?" Natasha's tears answered him with enough believability, both residents sprang forwards "Hey, Tash that's amazing..." her sobs shaking her shoulder's violently.  
The crack in her voice banging painfully against the drum in their ears, "Not if I don't have a husband to raise it with!"

* * *

Frequent clangs and bashes, occasional beeps. An ocean of disjointed and distorted sounds, swallowed breaths and tints of whispers.

The only thing felt was isolation, a cold dark sense that he was being watched.

Icy fingers grasping his skin, making him shiver.

* * *

Tony Stark sat in solitude.

Ever since returning from the battle he wouldn't allow himself the privilege of company; it was he who requested a private room, it was he who sent Pepper to Natasha.  
Though he had not caused every injury presented so visibly on Rogers' sleeping body, Stark had had a big share in it.

And Tony hated himself for it.

No matter what way he looked at it, Steve was in this coma because of him.

Stark would try to replay the battle in his head, try to come up with a reason justifiable for his actions towards one of his best friends, but he didn't want to. Stark wanted to be punished for his mistakes, he'd decided hours before arrival at the hospital, he no longer craved redemption and as soon as he'd been released from the hospital's care - several days ago - Tony's first call had been to Nick Fury.

Declining and retrieving his application for the Security Council, despite them having voted for him, Tony didn't want any further part in this and he was positive, once the people discovered the truth of the latest Sokovian battle, they'd be even more dismayed with the Council's selection.  
As well as Sokovia and many more countries disagreeing strongly with the choice, though it had been made vivid to the Sokovian population that the attack had been caused by Hydra thanks, mainly, to Director Coulson.

Currently Stark was holding his head in his hands, sat opposite the person he'd most recently inflicted pain on.

Steve Rogers lay lifelessly in front of him, looking as fragile and pale as the _old_ Steve had looked before his experiment, this was the lowest point Tony had ever seen the soldier and there was nothing pleasant or fulfilling about such a disturbing sight.

The team had been settled into the hospital for at least a week, Wanda and Pietro being taken back to SHIELD hospital for further recovery due to their enhanced abilities, which Banner was a big part in so he was swapping from there to here.  
The only two remaining team members still checked in were Mr and Mrs Rogers, though Natasha was meant to be checking out tomorrow.

And that would be the first time she'd be able to see Steve, everybody had felt given Natasha's emotional stability or lack of it, she shouldn't be putting herself into too daunting situations, sadly that included visiting her coma-struck husband.

Now she was a month pregnant and Steve still had no idea.

The news hadn't exactly come as a surprise, after all they had been trying for a child for...just over a month... _wow Steve really was super,_ it was just unexpected. The worst part of this being that the regular bundle of excitement that came with pregnancy wasn't allowed to commence until Steve was back and the doctors had no clue when that would be.

No clue

* * *

Pounding feet sprinted down the corridor, they'd kept Widow for far too long and now...she was free.  
However Natasha had no intentions of leaving the hospital without her husband; this was going to be the first time she'd see him since the battle, just over a week ago.  
Steve had already missed so much, a month of the pregnancy had spun by.

Tasha couldn't help but wonder if maybe things would have been different had Steve known Natasha was pregnant, would he have still fought as dangerously as he had?  
Or would he have felt a new pull to not throw away his life in order to protect hers?

Though Natasha knew had Steve known she was pregnant there would have not been a chance in hell that she would have even been in the quinjet during the battle - which was probably a good thing considering that the yet had been destroyed unsurprisingly when Barton had returned, at least that's what Wanda had told her.

The twins had made a full recovery, Wanda taking longer than her brother. As it turned out during the battle Scarlet Witch had managed to over shadow her regular limit. It must have been the desperation of the fight, Romanoff gulped just thinking about it.

Suddenly she threw the door open, Pietro and Clint's heels not far behind hers.

Upon seeing her husband, Natasha felt icy fingers paralyzing her in place. The shock some how forcing her to the seat next to his bed, her eyes never leaving his brown bruised face.

The one advantage of his coma-state was that his lack of motion allowed the majority of his injuries to heal.

As Tasha continued to stare at his frozen state she cringed at the feeling invading her chest: a painful pleasure filled her up as she reflected on her recent conversation with Fury.  
Nat had demanded, though Nick had almost urged her on in agreement, that Steve not be excepted for the Council position.

Tasha knew when Steve woke there may be severe consequences to her making that decision but before, he'd just wanted it for a security, so he knew he wouldn't be guilt tripped into returning to SHIELD after he'd pulled away.  
But now, they had a baby on the way and Romanoff was putting her foot down and she knew as soon as Rogers heard of the baby, he'd be more than happy to agree.

Natasha shook away the sickening smile threatening to play with her features at the thought that this was all over:

She felt a weight being forcefully lifted off her chest. It was so heavy it had sunk into her skin and for however long it had been there her skin and veins had grown around the weight, accepting that this crushing ache was now apart of her. And now it was being torn away, sure in a while it would feel better, she would feel lighter, free. But now all she felt was the pain of knowing it was over...and not in the way she wanted it to be.

For several more moments the spy sat still, as if she was deprived of emotions...and then when she no longer felt the burning eyes of Maximoff and Barton on her neck she lent forward, squeezing Steve's hand tightly and cried for what felt like the first time in her life.


	11. Waking up

Okay, I severely apologize for the last chapter...not my finest work. However it was my first week back at school and I was trying to balance homework/reading/writing so it didn't work out so well...no point worrying now!  
*pumps fist* Onwards with the remainder of this story!

She hated the sound of the heart monitor, the constant beeping reminded Nat of a beat, a tune from a playlist and all songs have to end sometime...

Throughout the following days Natasha was at Steve's side day and night, she was not leaving that room without her husband. Food and water had to be brought to her, it even got to the point where she hadn't washed in a few days, which was kindly pointed out by Barton who was complaining about the smell, but Natasha didn't care. She was staying with her husband until he woke up, little did she know she wouldn't be waiting that much longer.

Fire danced across his vision, sparking flames leaped from the burning bulge of light. Mists of warmth heavy in the air, radiating onto his body; his hands, fingers, occasionally arms touched by the flame of red.

His eyes plucked open.

Envy green roots, tangled in knots of grief. The clumps and curls of agony trying to trip a mild observer into the orbs of interlaced irritation and intricate illness.

He attempted to say her name, but his throat was too dry, it felt like it was collapsing in on itself. He coughed violently several times before she handed him a glass of water.

He tried again "Nat." his tone shaping the glimmering love reflected in her eyes, her hands became tighter on his. Her breath hitched in her throat as she thought of something to say, but nothing came to mind so she just moved forwards and placed the lightest kiss on his forehead.  
He leaned into her lips instinctively, the kiss so gentle if he hadn't seen it he probably wouldn't have felt it.

When she reluctantly leaned back into her chair she took his hand, Steve saw the cascading cloud of fear and disbelief concealing the colour of her eyes and every few seconds he'd squeeze her hand, just so she knew he was still there.  
The gesture was appreciated and soon Natasha found her voice "You've been out for 11 days."

His eyes shifted from her to his crumpled and crushed body, seems not all injuries were completely healed yet. "I'm sorry."

The long ago setting of Sam's bedroom where Nat discovered Steve's trust for her came running back in a flash of seconds, once again she gasped for words "For what? Being there for your people?"

"Yes" the firm promise behind his words surprised her "And for not being there for you."

Words spun circles around her head, before she lost her nerve Natasha burst "I'm pregnant." Steve's eyes shot to her face, her expression framed beautifully by the flush of her rosy cheeks.

For the first time in over a week, Natasha saw him smile as a musical chuckle rolled off his tongue.

Due to his coma recovery Steve remained in the hospital for the rest of the week, today he was finally coming home.  
Bucky, Natasha and Sam had come to collect him, they were now all sat in Wilson's car, turning into the familiar garage of Stark tower. All his friends were nervous for Rogers' return, Natasha especially, she felt more than anybody that he was rushing this.  
Desperate to get back home because of her pregnancy, when he'd found out she was over a month into the pregnancy he'd been furious with himself for missing so much, for 39 days Natasha had been carrying their child...but Widow had to remind him that for three weeks she'd been just as clueless.

Though that did little to the iron fist threatening to dampen his spirits.

Getting out of the car was a slow procedure, Nat climbed out of the back seat and was opening Steve's door instantly. She took his hand and lifted it over her shoulder, besides her all men were protesting:

Steve, hating the fuss, though he could not yet walk on his own feet without assistance.  
Bucky and Sam because they didn't want Nat holding his extra weight whilst pregnant.

Widow batted all complaints away but let Barnes support Rogers' other side, when in the elevator Natasha almost took a stumble at which point Sam motioned for him to take Steve "I can support my own husband Wilson!" She spat harshly, then amended herself bitterly by huffing out a large sigh.  
Next to her, Steve laughed "How are those hormones coming, honey?"

She bit back, not afraid of hurting him when she elbowed his side "Ohh...I haven't had any yet, baby!"  
As soon as they descended onto the main floor everything went quiet, the polite chatter concluded to a non-existent mumble and the couple gulped in unison upon seeing their friends troubled stares.

Wordlessly Bucky led them forwards and settled Steve onto the spacious couch, Steve landed with a loud thump, and immediately pulled Nat down, ignoring the grimaces his face hinted at Rogers' pulled her closer into his side.  
For several awkward moments nobody said anything until Pepper wordlessly dragged Tony into the love seat and turned to Nat, who smiled gratefully - though it was lacking her regular shine, everything felt fake, like they were pretending - Soon the surrounding statues moulded to life, and took their regular positions in the lounge, conversation soon became dependable enough for Natasha to allow herself the comfort of closing her eyes for a brief second as she felt her resolve weaken when Bruce began asking Steve about his recovery.

She was tempted to keep her orbs closed for as long as possible but when she heard a strangled cough her eyelids jerked awake, turning to see Steve trying to contain the pain he was currently feeling.  
In the love seat Tony started and then evacuated the lounge as quickly as possible, ignoring Pepper's muffled protests. Natasha gnawed on the inside of her cheek and soon after followed.

She didn't have to go that far, she travelled around the corner and stopped upon seeing Stark resting against the wall with his head lowed. Without uttering a single syllable Nat joined him, no sooner had she rested her head on his shoulder she felt a sob vibrate her body. She then pulled him into a full hug and tried to contain her own tears as Stark broke down.

Whispering into her shoulder how this was all his fault.

It didn't take long for Natasha to join him, she was full on bawling within 5 minutes. Noting how the team could most likely hear her, but for a fraction of time she allowed herself to switch positions with Stark and she herself be comforted.  
Her tears were beginning to subside until she felt familiar hands taking over Stark's, she'd been too busy drowning in the desperate drumming of her pain to have heard Steve heavily limping towards her.

Somehow they found themselves sinking against the wall, Rogers not caring if Natasha was causing him pain, though Tasha tried to move every now and then; he wouldn't let her.  
Moments later Natasha found herself wrapped in his arms on the couch, feeling rather than seeing the presence of her rocked teammates.

The couple woke several hours later to an empty living room, Steve stirred as he sat up right, scared his weight had been hurting Nat, immediately she followed missing his heavy body against hers, she turned to him as a groan escaped his lips.  
Steve smiled sadly, his hand running down the path of her stained skin; the tears were long gone - and Natasha was furious that she'd let them slip in front of him - though their dried imprints over her cheeks acted as a omnipresent reminder.

Natasha removed his hand, kissing it instead and assuring him with her eyes; she was fine now.  
However several more lyrics of agony escaped his lips and like a knowing wife, Nat knew she should not pester him about resting or if he needed anything, but did so anyway.

"Hey, you okay?" Though Nat knew what answer she'd receive she asked nonetheless and ignored Steve's attempt at a nonchalant smile; he wasn't fooling anybody. "You should probably get some rest." Natasha stood, trying to keep the trembling of her voice to a minimum.

"I'm fine." he stuttered, using his arms to push himself up onto his feet, but then he toppled over and Natasha had to grab him by his waist to he wouldn't topple over; swashing her in the process.

Her iron voice threatening "No you're not!"

The pressure and strain as well as tang of bitter resent only just catching up with her ears after she'd said it. Steve tried to stiffen the blow, but it was very hard to appear strong when somebody was holding you up so you wouldn't look as weak.

She breathed into his side, turning them and heading off to their room "Sorry, but...you can't lie to me. Not like this" they abandoned the lounge limping "if you need anything, in the middle of the night, if you're craving food or whatever, just wake me"

The sound of his laughter actually caused her to cringe "Shouldn't I be the one telling you all this?" He mumbled into her ear, his care free demeanour causing Nat to release a little bundle of tension.  
"Don't worry, we've got plenty more time for you to be doing that." As they turned into their room Nat pecked a kiss on his forehead again, almost tempted to go back for more but then a stench like no other invaded her enhanced nostrils and she pulled as far back as the doorway would allow.

"But right now you need a bath." Steve groaned - out of annoyance this time - when Nat placed him gently on the thankfully large bed and retreated to the bathroom.  
Steve attempted bargaining "Only if you join me!" He yelled.

Natasha found herself chuckling "Not just yet." She returned into the bedroom, looking down at him with a bakery of mixed emotions, not knowing if it was pity tinting her eyesight or sympathy.

An expectant hush filled the air between them, heavy and heated. Slowly Natasha stepped up to Steve's hung head, her fingers taking his, with a lot of effort from both parties Nat managed to nudge Rogers into the bathroom.  
Once inside she began undressing him, there was something incredibly unhinging by such a simple act because Natasha found herself avoiding his eye and feeling Steve retreat into himself, feeling utterly useless and uncomfortable like never before.

"You shouldn't have to do this." His voice was dry; sharp nails dragging against a chalk board.

Natasha paused after dismissing his shirt, her eyes taking in the whole of his healing injuries. "Would you like me to get Wilson instead? I'm sure he'd love this task..." her iris expanding at the disturbing thought, seeing Steve not even grinning at her dry retort - at least Nat thought it had been amusing - she bowed down into a crouch.

Her hands resting on his knees as he sat on the side of the bath, she stared up into his eyes, forcing him to look back at her. Steve moaned "You shouldn't have to see me like this." under his breath.

Natasha went down on her knees and moved her fingers over his arms, seeing the effect it had on him. She crept her lips closer and whispered "In sickness and in health, remember?" and finally she lent up towards him, her lips lightly caressing his, behind that kiss Nat pushed all her concern and fear and love for him, shoving away the tears and the yelling and the arguments and just letting everything else run wild.

Steve returned the touch, his hands finding her waist and settling in the comfort of having her within reach.

Just as the kiss hinted at becoming more Natasha pulled away, Steve muttering "You sure know how to leave a guy hanging." Natasha smirked and moved to turn off the taps "If we're not careful we might flood the place, enough water for the both of us. And if Stark knows of how much water we've..." she trailed off, turning back to Steve "I might have to join you after all."

As she helped him climb into the refreshing water he muffled into the palm of her hand as he kissed her fingers "You won't hear me complaining."

Gingerly, Nat washed Steve, being extensively careful of his injuries. During the entire process Steve was quiet, not wanting to irritate his wife further by repeating how much he hated this.  
Sighing, she placed the shampoo down before turning to his head, that seemed to be the final stroke for Steve.

"I think I can wash my own hair." he snapped.

"I'm just trying to hel..."

"Well I don't need it! Don't you think it's enough that I have to rely on somebody to walk me around the place, now you have to bathe me and shampoo my hair? What's next, are you going to be feeding me too?" He moved away from her grip. "I'm not a child."

"Well quit acting like one then! Do you think I want to do this? Do you think I like seeing my husband helpless, because I don't." Her hands still filled with shampoo Natasha splashed them in the water, rinsing them off.  
"Look Steve, I get that this is difficult for you but it will become a lot easier after these first few days. But please, don't push me away just because I'm trying to help you."

Natasha averted her gaze from her wet hands to his eyes and suddenly Steve picked her up by the waist, careful of her stomach and pulled her into his lap. If the strain on his face was anything to go by, it was extremely painful, but he did it anyway.  
Natasha began complaining and whining about her clothes but he silenced her with a kiss, which lead to many more.

During the burst of explorative kisses and caresses - and Natasha wasn't aware of when, but - she began crying. Nothing serious and if it weren't for the salty trails down her cheeks leading to their joined lips neither partner would have noticed.  
However when Steve did he pulled away, as far as he could allow and stared at her, concerned. Natasha blew away his concerns with a chaste kiss "I just can't believe I almost lost you." Steve's hand found the bottom of her stomach, where her now clingy clothes stuck tightly to her like skin.

Their foreheads touched and their noses nudged, Steve's eyes staring at her lips "Well I'm sorry but you're going to have to put up with me for a lot longer." A soft whisper "Well Captain Rogers, that is a blow I will happily be burdened with any day." of a tender kiss.


	12. Eviscerated

**Long over due! But, stuff happens! Sorry for the wait! xxxx Give it a little read please**

Natasha was sleeping calmly, well as calm as one could be with a restless Super soldier tossing and turning every chance they got.

Finally, Nat huffing a defiant sigh that said Oh-you're-really-going-to-take-away-my-sleep-whilst-I-can-still-have-it-but-just-you-wait-until-it's-me-keeping-you-up-mister! Turned to face her husband, whose grimace disintegrated her annoyance instantly.

"You okay?" Her hand creeping up his arm.

His teeth gritted but he nodded nonetheless, Nat shifted slightly, moving him down until his head was resting on her stomach. Her fingers expanded through his soft locks and she smiled, feeling his clenched muscles relax considerably.  
Soon enough he was asleep and Natasha marvelled at the sight of her husband, resting his head above their son or daughter, Natasha felt an exhilaration of excitement pump into her veins.

Slowly the Widow returned back to her own slumber only to be reawakened by a large explosion and sirens blazing above her head.

Natasha carefully lifted Steve - still sleeping - off her stomach and jumped out of bed, then after double checking it wasn't just her imagination Natasha woke Steve, who jerked instantly.  
His head almost connecting with hers with his hurry to assist, "What's wrong?"

Natasha shrugged "Don't know, can't be good." Suddenly FRIDAY spoke above them, startling them further "I recommend evacuation immediately Ms Rogers," Nat's hand tightened around Steve, pulling him out of bed. He was leaning entirely against her, slumping but still attempting to carry his own weight, FRIDAY's ever helpful voice couched above them:

"I recommend leaving Mr Rogers behind, he'll only slow you down." Steve's agreement sent her over the edge, her grip tightening around him. "You see! This is why I miss JARVIS!"

Suddenly they found themselves in the corridor, their pace quickening once seeing a blazing fire through windows of glass, Natasha was fixated by the extreme flames, that was no ordinary fire, she led Steve straight into a table.  
He gasped horridly and Nat was dragged downwards by his weight, yanking hard on her back Natasha relied on her skilful footing to negotiate with their waddling weight.

Somehow they made it to the elevator, both gagging for breath, Steve was wildly muttering about how they shouldn't be in an elevator but Widow was positive; if they even glanced at the minefield of stairs an explosion would splatter them against the wall.  
Their journey in the elevator wasn't long enough for both partners to gain their breaths back but they soon found themselves surrounded by their other Avengers, except for Stark, in the lounge.

Instantly, Bucky and Barton scooped Steve out of Natasha's trembling hold and she was escorted by Pietro next to him on the couch.

"Does anybody know what is actually happening?" Banner bluntly mumbled, exhaustion hanging like hydrogen in the air.

Pepper stood stoically by the elevator, panic rising in tiny blushes across her cheeks. "It's Tony."

"What!" Wanda stood to attention.

Steve grunted next to Nat, she took his hand "Stark started a fire?"

Pepper refused to look them in the eye "He was worried...after the whole...thing" her eyes drifted to the Rogers before averting their trajectory to the floor "He began working more, if possible. Fury's been on his back ever since he declined the council position."  
This was news to Steve, ever since the hospital he's not even wondered about the security council.

"And with Steve, not necessarily being able to defend himself" Natasha's eyes were glaring a warning, tread gently "So he wanted to enhance"

Pietro cut in "Oh brother"

"everything, about the security system, about FRIDAY, his suits, ventilation. It's practically unsafe for anybody other than you two to enter your floor."

Clint froze "What did you say about my vents?"

Pepper's eyebrows drew together "What?"

"The vents!" He corrected.

Suddenly the alarms ceased their screams of protest and smoke danced dangerously off of Tony Stark's silhouette as he entered the lounge, his eyes showing that even the smallest comment would send him over the edge.  
He wordlessly walked past everybody, opening the elevator and turning at the last second, whispering in the most innocent breath "Sorry for waking you" his eyes pinpointing Steve's discomfort.

Natasha could tell instantly how much Steve wished he could go after him, talk to Tony. But he couldn't; that conversation had to happen and it could only happen between and by those two...

The majority of the Avengers were too dreary to go back to bed; Clint, Bucky, Wilson, Pietro and Pepper still managed to whilst Banner and Rhodey headed off their separate ways, most likely to the lab or computer bunk. Thor, Vision and Wanda stayed still, their movements allowing that of either the couch or to remain standing.

Natasha - and she felt bad for it - didn't have the drive of effort to escort Steve back to bed for what would most likely be an hour more, so instead she grabbed a blanket and pumped up pillows before lying him out and carding her fingers over his forehead and into his hair, hoping to sooth sleep back into his skin.

Steve knows she knows he doesn't want to sleep, he'd much rather chase after Stark or do something productive that would help with his recovery; he shouldn't be needing so much support soon.  
But she takes her time easing him back into sleep, silently commanding that he should get as much shut eye as possible, her fingers run between each blossom of blond smoothing his scalp in warmth, because it feels like with every second of her attention, of her touch, he seems to breathe that little bit easier.

It's not long until the first few days of Steve's adjustment are in full swing, he's soon able to walk on his own and bathe himself - though he doesn't complain when Natasha joins him.  
Pretty soon they're touching on Nat's 2 month date of pregnancy and with every disappearing day Steve's excitement is increasing to a towering height.

It was early in the morning and the sound of intense vomiting shook Steve awake.

His eyes blinked open and he gazed around the room, his body noting the lack of warmth from the right of him, he turned spying the open bathroom door. Quickly he darted from the bed and silently walked behind Nat's crouching body, his hand rubbing supportive circles on her back whilst his other hand held back her hair. Moments later Natasha flushed the loo, wiping away at her bottom lip and turning into Steve's warming embrace "Sometimes your child is stupid." she sounded pathetically sad and her body shook slightly in his arms.

Steve couldn't help but smile boldly at that statement, laughing generously "My child huh?"

Nat smirked subtly "Anytime this baby causes me the slightest form of discomfort or morning sickness...they are yours!" It would have sounded severely stiffening, if it weren't for the chuckle she coxed out of herself and then him.

Slowly they separated and Nat got a proper look at her husband, she saw the occasional sway of his leg, hinting at a rushed heal of a limb and a strong concealment of a limp.  
But other than that, he was back, he was better.

They soon dressed and headed for the kitchen, Natasha yearning for food.

As soon as Nat waddled into the kitchen Stark pounced from his seat, holding her hand and supporting her back. Natasha stared at him in a serious level of deep evaluation and confusion.  
After chaperoning Natasha into her seat, he then set about fetching her breakfast and went as far as if to massage her feet.

Steve exasperated "Stark...what the hell are you doing?"

The surrounding members of the Avengers also peeked interest "Well you see Super-Sperm, it's not good for heavily pregnant women to be walking around a lot and they must take weight off their feet. I mean look, Nat's so huge-"

Romanoff threw several clusters of cornflakes at Stark, snatching her feet away "Very funny hot-shot, I'm not even showing yet."

Stark pointed proudly "You see Rogers, her hormone levels are already rising. I knew it would only be a matter of days before she started coming on to me."

Wanda rolled her eyes, shoving Tony's arm down. "You know what will spike her hormones is you asking to loose a limb."

Steve moved closer to Natasha, feeling as though he should be taking more care around Nat after Tony's dry lecture. Nat's features lifted into a smirk as she took his hand and kissed it, assuring him everything was fine.

Then she turned to her still bickering friends "What will also get on her nerves is when she is referred to as if she were not in the room." Stark childishly sneered at Wanda who arched her eyebrows, joining Vision by the sink.

Barton then rose from the few morning shadows, walking straight to the coffee machine and pouring a cup. Immediately Natasha openly began to moan "Ohh...I miss coffee!"  
Clint then exaggerated all movements with the coffee as well as the facial expression after his first sip, the corners of his mouth lifted gradually and his eyes glazed over as if he were in a dream, his expression almost completely hedonistic, making Nat want to be gag in annoyance. Steve muttered to a smirking Clint "Nice to see Nat having such helpful support from friends."

Clint sniggered into his coffee, liquid pouring out of his nose "Please...Tash if you think this is bad wait until..." Natasha's hand whisked away his words as she continued to silently eat her cereal, a grudge forming behind her calculating eyes.  
Next to her Banner enquired "How is the pregnancy going, Natasha?"

Nat concentrated on swallowing her mouthful of food before answering "Okay I guess, I don't exactly have anything to compare it with. But...the morning sickness has just began and it could be worse I guess."  
Hiding his smirk behind his coffee cup Tony asked "How about the hormones? Has Rogers been getting any extra insight with the ol'-"

"I beg you to stop!" Steve willed whilst eyeing a teasing Bucky and gagging Wilson whose strolls for food were silenced momentarily. Pietro then turned to Steve and Banner and began asking about sonograms and setting up a facility at the tower at which point Steve turned as white as the milk drowning Romanoff's half eaten cornflakes.

Natasha looked up through her lashes lazily at the boys, feeling her husband's discomfort instantly "Can we talk about something else, besides my pregnancy?"  
Pepper then appeared dressed in her regular pristine attire, ready and rearing to rock the world of business. "Natasha we should at least talk about setting up facilities within the tower, at least so Banner or FRIDAY could keep tabs on the baby's health."

Nat scoffed "As if I'm letting that..." she mouthed the word bitch "look after me and my baby." Steve squeezed her lightly, whispering "Our's honey." Nat pet him whilst displaying no interest, merely further expressing her hatred of the new AI.

Stark held his hand over his chest "She can hear you, you know! At least have some secrecy about your distaste!" Thor chuckled loudly, whilst leaning back and smiling at Natasha, his hand wrapped around Jane. "Natasha has made it quite clear for a long time her hatred of FRIDAY."

Tasha sighed loudly "I miss JARVIS."

Vision smiled kindly "Thank you."

Barton was watching wisely, his eyes trained to see a diversion. "Potts is right Nat, we should at least discuss these medical measures. At least if you two are planning on staying at the tower..."

"What!" Pietro stands with a disgruntled Wanda.

"Since when..." Wilson's morning smile subsides and next to him Bucky baskets his head in his hands.

Natasha clenches her jaw and slides to the side of her seat, "Thank you Clint!" Her tone as burning as ice, as still as a lake and as quiet as space. In front of her Steve raises his head as Nat's hands fumble over his shoulders, hanging loosely around his neck.

Stark is surprisingly slow on his predicated explosion "Wait, so you guys are...are leaving the tower?" Natasha gulped for breath, swallowing the lump rising in her throat "Nothing's decided yet."  
Tony gestured to a silhouetting Barton "Well clearly something has, because birdbrain has managed to pick it up. Unless you told him of course, which you would, seeming as you two like to remain the perfect odour of mystery." Nat rolled her eyes indifferently.

"Look Stark" Steve began, his Captain America voice kicking in "We just...we were thinking about the idea after the wedding but then stuff got in the way"  
Tony's tone was bitter "Yeah, us! Being a team, needing each other to save the world and being able to do so, so quickly and easily because we are all under the same roof!"  
Steve marched onwards "and we didn't talk about it for a while and then...when we discussed having a child, starting a family" his voice broke and Natasha rubbed his back soothingly, taking over,  
"We brought it back up again and we don't want to leave, we tried to avoid it as much as possible. But now...I'm pregnant and after Steve barely scraped past the burdens of our latest battle" her voice unknotted and became a softer sliver of silk "We just think, you know there's a lot going on here."

"And raising a baby would be hard enough, with this lack of privacy and chaos...it would just be too much."

Pietro was pulling at threads "You haven't even tried..."

Steve shrugged out of Nat's touch "What do you expect us to do? So if we try and it doesn't work, it will be ten times more fuss to move our child-" He ended short.

Barton spoke up from his corner "Guys, you can't pretend you didn't see this coming...I mean, only a handful of us actually live here." Tony turned as if to argue, but then did the math: Thor technically lived on Asgard, Barton with his family, Bucky and Wilson both had their own places as did Rhodey and Tony knew that Banner had several safe houses of his own.

Tony then turned back "Yeah but...you two are the leaders!" Natasha stood up next to Steve, their eyes conversing secretly. Then Pietro snapped "No...no, no! Don't tell me you're quitting the team...don't tell us that."  
They couple were silent.

"Oh great!" Wanda placed her hand on her head, her eyes bulging open widely.

"We're not necessarily leaving the team!" Steve chanted.

Tony was gesturing with an addiction "Oh great, they're not necessarily leaving the team, guys! Great, peachy! Anybody want any orange juice because boy this morning is getting dry!" Natasha sneered him into silence "Stark! We're having a baby! Ok that's not something you can just put down when an alien army comes knocking! Think about it, this baby will be as much of a target as any of us, who do you think we can trust to look after them whilst we're gearing up for battle?"

He stepped up to Natasha, pointing down at the ground "Which is exactly why the safest place for that baby is here! In the tower where they are under constant surveillance..."

Nat shook her head "I'm not comfortable with that Tony, as trust worthy as you are and as impenetrable as your security system is I don't want that for my child, I don't want my child to be guarded whilst my husband and I are risking our lives. And I know you guys don't want that either,"

Banner then attempted to decrease the frequency levels of tension, "So...have you guys found a place?"

Steve shook his head "We didn't want to start looking until we told you guys."

Thor smiled though it was as translucent as the window behind them "Well we can help you with that, can't we?" Wanda nodded too energetically to be steady, like she'd just been hit with something.

Slowly Tony knocks away the pleasantries whilst Pietro stalks away; both Clint and Wanda move to follow him, however Natasha beats them to it. Leaving Steve watching, hands on hips, with sad eyes.

Natasha finds him where Pietro has most recently been occupying; on the roof.

Although the cold fingers of the breeze twist and turn her back to the warmth of the door and the thick air clasps against her lungs in the heavy wind she keeps walking, ignoring the possessive nudge from nature.  
He's stood in front of the sun, the bright light shining behind him highlighting his black silhouette. "Pietro?"

She didn't mean for it come out as a question but at that moment she wasn't sure whether or not she was going to even get acknowledged. Though he didn't speak to her, he did turn around and walk towards her. Nat smirked, expecting him to stop but was thrown into a clutching hug when he kept walking towards her, the pressure behind his hug firm enough for Natasha to know how troubled he was and still know that he was holding back from his true desperation.

Her voice regularly came out husky but the combination of heavy winds and the trajectory of his ferociousness hitting her at once made it raspier as well "Hey, you okay?" His nod was anything but assuring.

Even Maximoff understood the lack of believability in the movement because his statement disagreed with his gesture "No, I...it's selfish and stupid." Somehow Natasha managed to coax him into sitting down on the roof despite his stoic robotic impersonation. "What's going on?" Natasha new this could last a while, Pietro was a lot of things; impatient, aggressive, protective, defensive, irrational, impulsive, caring, selfless. But he wasn't open, he wouldn't naturally start spilling his feelings out, he had to trust you. And he did trust her, but she wasn't sure if he trusted himself to tell her what's going on. Maybe he trusted her, but didn't trust her to not judge him differently, if that makes any sense.

Finally he spoke, as if the silent seconds they'd spent had been crowded with reassurance and promises that he could talk to her; maybe they were, just unspoken.  
"I don't...I don't want you and Steve to leave. But mostly you, Nat, you and Barton have been more of a role model for me and Wanda than you know. We've moulded our recovery around you two and it's brought us closer.  
And...if you leave, I'm scared what will become of the team. You and Steve, well you probably knew this about him but not yourself...you're a big part in keeping us together, in keeping us sane and rational."

Nat jokingly shoved him softly "I don't know if rational is the correct word to describe the Avengers, but" he smirked goofily. "You got a point, I mean how will you guys be able to survive without Rogers' incredibly vast cooking skills and nagging at Stark about his drinking game and my kick ass, floor wiping training that only half the team turn up to?"

They sighed together.

"You'll be fine kid, and the likelihood is that, we won't separate from the team. We'll never be able to fully untangle ourselves from this web, even if we wanted to" she added as an afterthought "Which we don't, by the way." He slowly showed a quiver of understanding.  
Natasha continued without any push from Pietro, but more from herself. To say the words so that they'd most likely be true, "During my pregnancy we'll be stopping by the tower non-stop, you'll probably see us more than you do whilst we live here. And then when the baby's born, you guys will be practically living at our place, God I'll have to get a handgun just to get you all to leave. And then for the first few years Steve will probably be assisting Coulson subtly from the side lines, as long as we're not at the front, but we'll appear enough for the press every now and then, so they don't panic and assume we're dead or something. Then when this little one" her hand rested on her stomach lovingly "is bigger and stronger...I don't know, I imagine something catastrophic will happen and Steve will fight with you guys whilst I go into hiding with the Bartons and protect them. Then eventually, I'll be back with the team, concentrating on balancing baby sitting and still being around my child.  
And even if that stuff doesn't happen, we'll never abandon you guys."

At least, she hopes...


End file.
